Period jokes can be very hit and miss. As long as you show them to a woman who ISN’T on her period then you should be good to go.
Periods are terrible things that make us want to curl up in a ball and cry for a while. So, it’s probably worth at least trying to laugh at our current situation. Thankfully, these Tumblr period jokes are actually funny and non-offensive, at least in my opinion…
1.) Too true
Yep. This is true and we aren’t proud of it. What we would give to have consistent emotions over the course of our period! Unfortunately, that simply isn’t the case.
2.) Now I want a daughter
If I ever have a daughter, this needs to be done. A cake and everything! At least that might make her feel a little better as she thinks about how she’s going to have roughly 500 more periods in her lifetime.
3.) A battle no one can win
You can NEVER prepare for a period, there’s no point even trying to. The period strikes when you least expect it, stopping you in your tracks and ruining your day, every single time.
4.) Period’s improve your ability to get away with murder
Periods make you smarter, fact. We are so used to getting the blood off our sheets and underwear that when we eventually do murder someone (probably when we are on our period) we will 100% get away with it. Men should take a leaf out of the female book.
5.) There’s no hope for some
CAN’T YOU JUST HOLD IT?! It’s not like pee, you can’t just STOP THE FLOW OF BLOOD. This is infuriating and boys definitely need some lessons on periods. For their own SAFETY.
6.) Cursed with the potential to bear children
Now, this is just BRILLIANT. I would have just stuck with the none of your business approach but this is much better. And she’s right, it is a CURSE. Until you actually do want children, that is.
7.) Why do guys act so IGNORANT?
Honestly, it’s the sign of an incredibly stupid guy if he ever asks this question in an argument. I want people like this just to experience ONE WEEK of being on a period and I bet that they would never ask this question ever again.
8.) Why are they so scared?
It is completely baffling to us woman as to why teenage boys are so scared of tampons. They don’t bite, they are basically just cotton wool. But yeah, PREFERABLY, don’t throw used tampons and boys but no one said DON’T. Especially if they made the above joke about “are you on your period”?
9.) Screams of terror
This is so true. Why do adverts always show happy people that look like they can’t currently smell their own blood? Also, they are ALWAYS wearing white jeans or shorts. No woman is that brave when on her period, it’s just BEGGING for disaster.
10.) Don’t even compare men struggles to ours
The only struggles men have are when they put themselves into that situation. It’s entirely their own fault. Women, on the other hand, can’t actually help that our bodies decide to put us through hell every month.
11.) You can never out-smart the uterus
Maybe the uterus makes us bleed as REVENGE for not getting pregnant. I guess our uterus just really wants a baby, that’s kind of sweet. And now I feel bad! Do I deserve this?!
12.) Gross but true
We aren’t proud of the brown sludge that waits in our body and releases as soon as our period is over. We have no idea what it is, where it comes from or why it exists. All we know is that we HATE it’s existence.
I’m not sure why this is news. Women have been relating their cramps to a heart attack for YEARS and no one listened. I bet it was a guy that suddenly said it and now EVERYONE believes it.
14.) An accurate day in the life
This is sadly very painfully relatable. Any aggressive action causes nothing but FOUNTAINS OF BLOOD. The second day is always the worst, too.
I hope these Tumblr jokes helped you to laugh through your period pain, don’t laugh too hard though or you will be drowning in blood. Unfortunately, these jokes are far too close to the truth and it’s incredibly sad.