19 Jokes For People That Don’t Like Children

19 Jokes For People That Don’t Like Children

19 Jokes For People That Don’t Like Children

There are some people out there in the world that just really don’t like children. No, they aren’t monsters, they just prefer to hang out with adult humans that they can actually speak to and have conversations with.

So, my fellow children-avoiders, let us join together and joke about how much we don’t like children because we are joyful and caring people.

Jokes aside, kids are great but sometimes it’s funny to laugh instead of cry, you know?

1.) Fair enough

Honesty really is the best policy and I don’t see anything wrong with this. For people that aren’t used to kids, it would be a hard decision which to save. I mean, my phone IS more expensive so…

2.) Savage


Let’s be honest here, kids act like wild animals half the time so it’s completely fine to group them together.

3.) Check!

stefft_xvii / Via instagram.com

If I had a permanent life to do list this would definitely be on there, along with eating, sleeping and not dying.

4.) Bit too late for that…

See the above joke to avoid being in a situation like THIS, folks.

5.) I completely agree

heather_rawding / Via instagram.com

Silence and money are incredibly important to those who don’t like kids. Clearly, people who love kids must HATE silence and money. Weirdos.

6.) So inconsiderate

laura_m1990 / Via instagram.com

Kids just don’t GET IT when they start screaming in public, they don’t think about the rest of us. You know, kids, there are those of us who have to pay for our own food and buy houses and take care of ourselves, you need to get a GRIP, jeez.

7.) Cats > children

Instagram: @elinelisabete

Yep. I will hold a cat like it is my own CHILD but when it comes to an actual child I’m like, ‘please take it off me.’

8.) Any excuse

memequeenof2019 / Via instagram.com

Kids could be saying anything to us and I will drink to it, it’s a coping mechanism for being around kids in the first place.

9.) Why do they do it?

Instagram: @queenjean714

I’ve never understood why people think that random people want to see pictures of your kids. It’s like me going up to people and being like, ‘hey, look at this picture of my friend/mom/sister’. Like WHY?! That would be so weird and random.

10.) My kind of place

therealjeremyscott / Via instagram.com

Let’s be honest, kids cause much more hassle and problems than dogs do. Dogs actually listen to what you tell them to do. Kids just ruin everyone’s day.

11.) Preach!

shoesnsunshine / Via instagram.com

Yep. Dogs are much more welcome than young kids in my world.

12.) Happy to accept this


I am more than happy to be labelled as this if it means that I don’t have to have kids. I’m just honest, sorry if that makes me a MONSTER.

13.) Change him NOW

Imagine if every kid in the world changed into a puppy, just for like an HOUR or something. Would the world be a happier place? Yes.

14.) The votes are in

Twitter: @TylerRogerson

Now, this just PROVES that the general public harbours the same dislike towards kids like most of us. I am very upset at how many votes cats got though, they are perfection, don’t EVER compare them to the likes of CHILDREN.

15.) Stay away

thehornynun / Via instagram.com

Trick or Treaters are the worst. They come over to your house begging for candy, disrupting your evening and you have to stand there and smile or you are considered a bad person. I’ll embrace being a bad person, thanks.

16.) The summer is a dark time

Instagram: @ihate_tyler181

I don’t look forward to summer anymore, the kids are out and it’s dangerous out there. Its just best to stay indoors and close the blinds.

17.) Too true

Twitter: @arabia612

I cannot relate to people having kids. How can they ever feel like they are old enough to be responsible for another life? I’ll still be a child when I’m 50.

18.) Triple checking…

Instagram: @hotdrunkchick

It’s like seeing the consequences of your actions 9 months into the future. Yikes.

19.) It’s true…


This is spookily accurate. It’s happened to me on multiple occasions, they don’t give you chance to back up your choices, they just tell you that you’re wrong, it’s all very scary.

These are obviously just jokes and I don’t really hate children…OR DO I. No, seriously I don’t…sometimes it’s just refreshing to laugh at how frustrating children can be sometimes. That’s all, I promise!

Did any of these make you laugh? Let us know in the comments!