Air travel is apparently the safest form of transport in the world, which has got to be reassuring!
However, let’s be honest, not all of us are a fan of it.
& Sometimes, it’s justified, we’re thousands of feet up in the sky, cramped in together like cattle and the toilet is like trying to ‘go’ whilst inside a phone box. It’s a pretty nerve-wracking experience.
But we’re meant to have ONE saving grace in all this discomfort, the flight attendants
They are there to keep us safe, help us with any problems and help to make sure that we’re as comfortable as we can be…
Only NOW they’re sharing their darkest secrets online and it’s honestly, pretty shocking.
Don’t read on, if you’re planning on flying anytime soon….oh and DON’T drink the coffee!
1. “The plane is disgusting. Don’t walk around barefoot. Definitely, don’t eat your mint after it fell on the floor like Mr. 3A did the other day.”
Ewww, well…I suppose something so big would be pretty hard to keep SPOTLESS. Although, I’m now never going on any plane without copious amounts hand sanitizer gel!
2. “If you ask for something nicely, I’ll usually give it to you, but if you demand it or if you’re a jerk…good luck getting anything free.”
To be honest, this makes perfect sense to me, manners cost nothing at the end of the day. I’m in full agreement with this one. #dontbeajerk
3. “We don’t wash/replace the blankets or pillows.”
Urgh! Okay, this is pretty gross. I’m taking my own on my next flight! I don’t fancy scabies or getting some kind of eyeball eating infection!
4. “During delays at the gate, we are not getting paid. We are as pissed off as you are, if not more.”
Wow, working and not getting paid would suck! Oh well, at least we’re all in it together!
5. “Please, PLEASE don’t ask where are we flying at the moment. I don’t know and don’t care, either.”
To be honest, aslong as we’re still up in the air, where we’re meant to be, then I don’t care where we are, either!
6. “Pilot here. Don’t drink the coffee. The water comes from the onboard system that has the fill port right next to the port the lavatories are drained from. The water system routinely fails E. coli checks.”
I don’t know whether to scream or be sick.
NEVER. DRINKING. COFFEE…AGAIN!!!
7. “Hairspray can set off the lavatory smoke alarms. Also, yes, your vape.”
I can understand the vaping, but I didn’t know hairspray could do that!?…I’m now half tempted to try it!
8. “As you’re boarding the aircraft we are judging you — we need to be able to establish what kind of flight we are gonna have.”
Fair enough, I’ll just have to do what I do in any other social situation where I’m being judged, I’m just going to smile and not make eye contact.
9. “Don’t stick your napkin inside your cup. We have limited trash room so we stack cups. When you do that I have to fish the napkin inside your cup and I die a little inside.”
Yeah, I can’t imagine that’s the most pleasant job in the world. My Dad does the same and it’s so gross, kills me inside too!
10. “Unless you’re extremely lucky and your aircraft just rolled out of the hangar after major maintenance, there will absolutely be something broken in it. An aircraft can have a whole host of parts be broken and still be allowed to fly.”
YEP. THAT’S ME NEVER FLYING AGAIN.
11. “When people ask for the reason for a delay, we usually give a bullshit response because the REAL answer would spook passengers. ‘We have a minor technical problem and engineers are on their way.’ But in reality: The cabin pressure isn’t working.”
12. “It means A LOT to us if a passenger actually says hello back to us and smiles…One guy said, ‘Hey, good morning!’ to me, and all flight I gave him alcohol on priority right away.”
A little kindness…get’s you faster booze!
13. “98% of our training is for 0.1% of our job that we hope to never use… We’re trained to fight fires, treat medical emergencies, evacuate a plane in record time, and much more.”
Wow, must be like having wonder woman on board! Maybe we are in safe hands, after all?
14. “We generally don’t know each other before the briefing. You’ll hear us calling, ‘hey hun,’ ‘hey darling,’ ‘hey dude’ — all of that is because we don’t remember their name.”
At least they’re still being friendly with each other!
15. “We legally have to tell you the seatbelt sign is on. If we don’t and FAA is on board, we personally get fined.”
Good! I’d rather they DID always tell me!
16. “There’s A LOT of gossip and drama that comes with this job. I’ve worked some trips where the FA working up front can’t stand the FA working in the back.”
Nice to see that the workplace drama still goes on….even miles up in the sky! Obviously, nothing stops workplace hatred.
17. “If it’s a red-eye and we are close to landing, I might be hallucinating from lack of sleep. Not enough to be dangerous, just enough to see weird things.”
Yep, totally in safe hands (yikes!)
18. “When you ask us to change the temperature, we pretend to do it. Planes are generally colder because if we hit turbulence warm temps will make the chances of someone puking much higher. No idea why.”
A totally valid reason, you keep doing what you’re doing! I’d rather freeze to death than be puked on. to be honest!
19. “If you curse in general, it’s normally not a thing, but the second you curse at me I can kick you off.”
Again, I’m in full agreement with this one, you should never have to take other people’s sass (especially at work!)!
20. (& Finally….) “Never get seats by the bathroom. When the toilet breaks down, the mechanics put all the toilet parts on those seats.”
SUGGESTION DEFINITELY NOTED.