This one is for all my heavy-chested ladies out there! Yes, it’s true, there are many women out there who are very jealous of us, and hey, we get it! These things look great most of the time and they’re definitely idolized by er, well pretty much everybody. We are so LUCKY TO HAVE THEM.
Lucky, that is, apart from the fact that they are INCREDIBLY inconvenient and having them brings a plethora of struggles every damn day of our lives! But don’t worry ladies, we’re all in this together!
1. When you’re wearing something that has a slight dip in the neckline and everybody is coming at you with “Ohhh got the girls on show I see!!”
“No Janice, I am NOT flaunting ‘the girls’ purposely, it’s just 100 degrees outside and the only thing that covers these freakin’ up is TURTLENECKS.”
2. These marks are now a permanent part of your body.
I honestly can’t remember a time when I didn’t have these red slashes across my poor shoulders… possibly before I turned 16. Or 13.
3. Taking the risk of certain death every time you try to wear a push-up bra.
It’s true. Sometimes we want a little lift, a little bit of support. Of course, for us, it means that if we accidentally go down a step too quickly or bend over unexpectedly the chances of us being suffocated by our own chest is about 99.5%.
4. Staring in despair at all the cute little lace numbers knowing that you will never, ever, ever be able to wear them ever.
A tale as old as time, really. Small-boobed women want big boobs so they can look “sexy”… big boobed women want small boobs so they can wear things like this and look “sexy”. None of us will ever be happy.
5. Your friends won’t lend you their cute tops because you’ll “stretch them”
FINE. I guess I’ll just stick to my freakin’ muu-muu’s then while you rock around wearing that cute spaghetti strap singlet. WHATEVER.