Dad Of Four Incredibly Smart Girls Tweets His Conversations With Them...& It's GOLD!

Dad Of Four Incredibly Smart Girls Tweets His Conversations With Them…& It’s GOLD!

Dad Of Four Incredibly Smart Girls Tweets His Conversations With Them…& It’s GOLD!

Being a Dad is an amazing thing…I’ll sadly never know because I lack the biological equipment needed (I’m a woman!)

But of course, all parents are a special breed and sometimes you get those extra wonderful combinations that just makes it an even more magical situation.

Like being the father of FOUR girls for example, & not just any girls, very smart and self-aware girls who don’t take their father’s sh*t lying down.

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Enter, James Breakwall, a comedian and Twitter user @XplodingUnicorn. He adores his family and documents his life with his family by posting Tweets of them.
& Now he’s actually become very famous due to his Tweets on his interesting conversations with his daughters. His oldest is now 8. He couldn’t even begin to tackle his daughter’s commentary and sarcasm, so he Tweets about it, instead. Much to everyone else’s delight!

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He’s also a writer of parenting & zombie apocalypse books, Only Dead on the Inside: A Parent’s Guide for Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse. His newest published book is Bare Minimum Parenting: The Ultimate Guide to Not Quite Ruining Your Child.

Keep reading to check out the amazing and amusing moments he has with his wonderful daughters!

1. Meet your new feminist hero

Well, you know what they say! Actions speak louder than words! & This seven-year-old is already winning at life! Don’t open your mouth, just shoot them down with your power and skill!

2. Don’t underestimate us

Oh, believe me, NEVER underestimate women. It’ll only ever lead to one outcome: your funeral.
Girls are brutal, reckless and will stop at nothing to get where they need to be, so don’t mess with them, no matter what age they are!

3. I do what I want

This is brilliant! I think I’d rather learn about Dragons too! That stuff is going to be much more useful for world domination!
& Hey, at least she’s still learning about something!


To be fair, the Dogs would probably be more well behaved…and what girl wouldn’t rather have Dogs around her than a load of smelly boys!?

5. I ain’t got time for troubles

Well, it seems you CAN just skip to the happy ending after all! If only real life was this easy, eh? Just skip to the happy ending and fast forward through the problems! Keep that attitude in mind for the future kid, it could serve you well!

6. It’s all about ME

It seems like a flawless argument, but surely, the kids wouldn’t exist if the parents didn’t decide to have children!? It looks like a stalemate! I’d have just given her ALL of the candy for the sake of being a witty wee bean, in any case!

7. The passive aggressiveness is strong in this one…

Wow, good move, kid! It would be a tad scary as a parent though, to realise that your 7-year-old is already a master at passive-aggressive banter! God help him when she gets older!

8. She’s nailed it

Yep, that’s basically it! That’s spot on, in fact, I think she should write ‘A Little Girl’s Guide to Sarcasm’, she’ll already be just as good an author as her Dad!

9. Peanuts are life

Hey! Sometimes you need a change…and maybe she doesn’t want her Daddy to steal them!?

10. That’s definitely not how life works

Kid, you’re learning early! That’s just not how LIFE works…there are no good days…only a blur of stress, coffee and back pain.

11. Don’t grow up, it’s a trap!

Ooooh, she’s already a master manipulator at four years old! He really better watch himself when they get older!

12. I have to do everything around here

Well, to be honest, this could be taken in two ways…either female’s do all the work or females are blood hungry, brutal and cruel? I’ll let you decide for yourself on this one.

13. Gee…thanks!

Well, that went from sweet to sinister in about a second, didn’t it!? Well, it’s a Dad’s job to be his daughter’s protector…in ANY way possible, so he’ll just have to suck it up (or suck it in!) if a monster does show up!

14. Shove your expectations up your a*s!

This girl isn’t thinking about marriage, she already has much better and bigger plans for her future…like becoming Frodo!

15. Meet your new Superhero!

So, let me see!? Batgirl mixed with Elsa, mixed with the Flash!? Combined with her cuteness!? A totally deadly and adorable combination, if you ask me!

16. A teacher for the new age

Well, again, that didn’t go where I was expecting…ah well, if they ever start teaching the Dark Arts in school then they know who to call on! I don’t think it’ll be long before they do!

17. Just call me Dr Cat

Wow, I didn’t know that was actually a profession!? Can I be a Doctor who is a cat when I grow up, too!?

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18. I think that a certain little someone has been watching Monty Python…. (Burma!)

It’s an easy mistake to make, I guess… It’s like when you’re on a diet and you keep telling yourself that you’re going to order a salad when the waiter comes over, but the words ‘LARGE FRIES’ comes out of your mouth instead! It’s just pure fear, that’s all that’s to blame!

19. *everyone stares off into space*

I guess we’re all staring off into space right now, too! What DOES happen!? I guess it’ll go higher than the universe and never be seen again! R.I.P Mr Bouncy.

20. Are we really the earth’s greatest creatures!?

Yeah, but Lions don’t have to overthink everything…or have existential crisis’ or anxiety… all that sadly gets in the way of our greatness sometimes. It’s like when we’re talking on our mobile phone, whilst trying to FIND our mobile phone.
Anyway, by the looks of things, I wouldn’t worry too much, James. It looks like your girls are going to be just fine out there!

All tweets are credited to James Breakwell @Xplodingunicorn on Twitter