One father of newborn twins recently took to Reddit to ask ‘[Am I The As*hole] for not wanting to get up at night to help with our twins?’ As you can imagine the internet had some strong opinions, but a lot of people were agreeing with him…
Some people will be immediately shocked at this, but the case the father put forward was not as straightforward as it may initially seem.
The dad stated his case as so:
“Wife and I just had twins 3 weeks ago. I work while she does not. I help whenever I’m not working but have told my wife she has to cover the overnights as I need sleep for work. She thinks it’s unfair however she can take two hour naps while they sleep while i can’t do that at my job. We even have a nanny that was here 4 out of 5 work days this week. I’m up early on the weekends and take care of them while she sleeps in. I’m not trying to get out of doing my part but AITA?”
The internet was split between people taking the stance of:
‘Getting up at night is an inevitable part of parenting. You signed up for this when you had kiddos […] also friendly reminder that she pushed two living water melons out of her coochie and you don’t recover from that lickity split.’
While others defended the father: ‘They have a nanny from 8-3pm so that the wife can sleep. During this time OP is working 12 hour shifts, but despite this comes back home and picks up duties so she can relax. He gets up early on the weekends to give her a break despite being the sole breadwinner.’
While it’s easy to land hard on one side of this argument, the fact is that it’s impossible to really know the full story, and the post feels a little like tentatively poking an issue from one side just to see what rise can be gotten.
The father amended his post to clarify his point and what duties the nanny carried out:
“the nanny is here 8am-3pm on weekdays. As soon as I get home I take over all dad duty until I go to sleep around 10pm. If it sounds like I’m just laying around after work, I’m not. The nanny is our housekeeper who has taken on the nanny role also. 100% of the housework is taken care of by the nanny.”
If I’m honest I don’t really understand why he posted it in the first place. He claims ‘I came here for a legit AITA and for thoughts. Insulting me isn’t constructive in any way.’ But… what did he freakin’ expect?
It just seems weird asking random people you’ve never met (and who don’t have to actually answer to their suggestions in any real-world way) what you should do in a situation which sounds like quite a serious conflict with your significant other.