Relationships: they can be glorious, glorious things. You always have a companion, someone to annoy whenever you feel like it (and let’s be honest, you always feel like it), someone to go places with and see things with and do things with, someone you can be your true, often most disgusting self around without fear of judgment. Just someone you can be comfortable around in general. This list is endless!
Yes, relationships can be wonderful… but they can also be a huge pain in the a*s. There are the arguments, the predictability, the dealing with somebody else’s problems, the sacrifices you have to make… and now, as though this wasn’t enough, those clever-clogs scientists out there have determined that relationships also, make us FAT. Whoopee!
I know I know, sounds a little fishy, but bear with me. When you look into the research, it actually does kinda make sense…. which I guess makes it worse in the long run. And who do we have to thank for this new-found glorious piece of scientific research? The bat-poop crazy people at the University of Queensland in Australia, who clearly have nothing better to do (Sorry sorry, I don’t mean to lash out… I’m just feeling a little attacked right now.)
Basically, the study they conducted was based on researchers who analyzed around 10-years worth of data which was collected from over 15,000 people. And what did the researchers find? Well… of course, they found that couples in happy relationships weighed about an average of 5.8kg more than their single buddies, and pretty much had an average weight gain of around 1.8kg per year. Pretty darn crazy, right?
So what’s the actual science behind it? When you think about it, it’s kind of common sense, I guess. When you’ve been dating someone for a while, you become… comfortable. Shocking, right? And because you become comfortable, you don’t really have much of an incentive to go to the gym anymore. And why don’t you really have much of an incentive to go to the gym anymore? Because you already have someone who will sleep with you no matter what… so what’s the darn point!?
It’s not all negatives for people in healthy, committed relationships, however, because the study also found that, when compared to single people, people in relationships tend to have healthier habits overall. They also tend to smoke less, eat less food and consume more fruits and vegetables.
And this has, frankly, confused the heck out of me because how does the weight gain make any sense now!? Well, in their answer is; regardless of all this information and positive habits, most couples gain weight over the course of their relationship and are more likely to be overweight… WHERE is the fairness in that!? I ask you!
So in case you’re totally lost, l.ike me, and need a little more proof in order to finally be able to blame your dad bod or your muffin top on your significant other, another study which took place at the Southern Methodist University in Dallas followed nearly 200 newlyweds for four years…. aaaaand yep, you guessed it, came to the exact same conclusion. HAPPY DAYS!
Andrea Meltzer, the head researcher had this to say about the findings:
“Satisfaction is positively associated with weight gain, spouses who are more satisfied tend to gain more weight, and spouses who are less satisfied tend to gain less weight.”
So in other words, the happier and more comfortable you are with your partner, the chunkier you will eventually get. Already second guessing that wonderful relationship you’re in? Yeah… me too.
SO… to conclude, if you’re in a relationship and you’re piling on the pounds by the day, don’t be too sad about it, all it means is that you’re super happy with your special person. Just think of those pounds of fat as pounds of love and the bigger you are the happier you are! Go you!
However, on the other side of that… If you’re currently in a relationship and find that you’re leaner and lighter than ever… well, I have some bad news for you sweetheart, maybe you should be considering jumping ship back into the ocean of singledom? Don’t take my advice though… just take the advice off all those zany science-folk instead!
I guess the most important lesson of all in a relationship is… whether your fat, thin, tall, short… it doesn’t matter… just make sure you’re gosh-darn happy!