Flux capacitor activated, Delorean doors closed it’s time to go Back to the Future.
When Doc and Marty flew back to 2015 in Back to the Future II many of us thought they were giving us an actual insight into what our lives would look like thirty years from the comfort of 1985. Our favourite body-warmer clad heartthrob and his eccentric genius friend fired up the (newly flying, organically fuelled) time machine and flew us straight into the reality of our adult lives.
Or so we thought……
Here’s twelve of the funniest things we believed we’d be able to do by now according to Marty McFly.
1. ‘Roads? We don’t need roads where we’re going?!’ All our cars should be able to actually fly. Forget the rise of the plug-in electric car or the latest tech on Top Gear, all of our cars should be hovering about making a mockery out of rush hours and pot holes everywhere!
2. Put on a bit of weight over the festive period? Never fear, all our clothes are self-adjusting. They shrink or expand to fit, never have to worry about getting the right size ever again.
‘Borrowing’ the latest denim-on-denim or shoulder-padded beauty from our sibling’s wardrobes would’ve been much easier with this little invention on our side!
3. Our shoe laces tie by themselves! Think of all those precious seconds you could be saving by not having to put left over right and through the loop. Come on Nike – get it sorted out – time is money. Oh hang on, “Dong! News at Nine. This just in… Nike have actually released a range of self-tying trainers, yours at a snip for $720 or (514 quid)”.
4 Our weather forecasts should be pin-point accurate. When Doc arrives in the future it is raining cats and dogs but with one small swipe of his watch he learns that it will stop in five, four, three, two… right on queue. Michael Fish need never hang his head in shame again. (Or maybe he should, but not because of the weather).
5. All lawyers are abolished. I’ll just let that one sink in for a second. All lawyers are abolished. What’s more Marty’s son is tried and convicted within two hours. No hanging around for months at a courtroom for our wayward kids in this alternate reality!
6. Squeal. Wheels!? What wheels? We get to ride hover boards and hover scooters! Not sure how hitching a ride on a hover board holding onto a the back of a hover car would pan out but I’m excited to try!
7. We are on ‘Jaws 19’, people! I mean, do people even still venture into the sea or have we scared the absolute bejesus out of ourselves by now? My specialist subject is… the different ways in which sharks can terrorise human beings. Watch out for the hologram advert though…shudder…too real!
8. Sick of the same old view out of your home or office window? No need to move just change the channel! Might be handy as you could be in there for a while if you can’t work out how to open the handle-less doors of the future.
9. Our food is all rehydrated. Penny sized discs covert into family-sized pizzas in five seconds or less in our Black and Decker hydrators. Bye bye Dominos, hello self-adjusting clothes! Would save us a fortune on plastic bags though!
10. Contactless? Ha! In the future we can pay for things with our thumb – if it’s good enough for Grandpa Biff it’s good enough for me!
11. Weather looking dodgy? Dog needs out? Don’t worry your canines take themselves for a walk thanks to their electronically operated un-manned leads. Wonder if they carry the poop bags too?
12. Our telephones are (very 80’s looking) reflective visors. Look cool and have your hands free at the same time, why aren’t we all doing this already? Apple, are you listening?
Marty, grab your self-adjusting jacket, we’re in! By some space-time-continuum-blip we seem to be in the wrong reality. Fire up the flux capacitor, give us a call on our visor ‘phone and let’s hover board over to Jaws 20 and eat rehydrated pizza this Saturday night. Who’s with me?