Sperm 'Retrieval' Robots Could Be Coming To A Clinic Near You And You Should Be Deeply Concerned

Sperm ‘Retrieval’ Robots Could Be Coming To A Clinic Near You And You Should Be Deeply Concerned

Sperm ‘Retrieval’ Robots Could Be Coming To A Clinic Near You And You Should Be Deeply Concerned

    Oh you definitely did read that right, and yes, it’s exactly as discomforting as you think – but thanks to the Chinese government, donating sperm is now completely hands-free and ‘user-friendly.’

     

    (Source: Twitter)

    The ‘device’ (I’m at a loss as to what to really refer to it as if I’m honest) was invented by Ding Guijiang in an attempt to combat China’s sperm shortage fears.

    The idea being that men who are too ’embarrassed’ to provide a sperm sample the typical way, will be more comfortable entering a room with one of these and placing their… oh look you get the idea, here’s what the freakin’ thing looks like…

    intro level GIF

    A lack of sperm donations has left the Chinese government fearing a sperm drought if more men aren’t encouraged to donate more sperm.

    ‘So…’ I hear you cry, ‘how does this veritable sex robot help?’ And it’s a very fair question, and the answer is this…

    Image result for chinese sperm extractor robot gif

    As if the enthusiasm on the gentleman’s face in the last image wasn’t inspiring enough, this newfangled genital contraption can be programmed a variety of ways, including programmable ‘temperature’, ‘wetness’, and as if that wasn’t still enough… hold on to your inexplicable sex robots… you can even control the ‘amount of light’…

    Image result for guy confused gif

    According to Guijang himself, in ardent defense of creating this contraption (contraption for some reason feels like the right noun):

    “Hospitals mostly use masturbation as their collection method without providing a venue or equipment […] This makes collecting sperm on site very difficult. We invented an automatic sperm extractor which is also user-friendly.”

    Image result for I'm begging you not to finish that sentence gif

     

    Quite frankly, the idea that some of these places are apparently not even offering ‘a venue’ may be the problem if they’re just expecting men to ‘donate’ in the waiting room?



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