Funny | January 8, 2019
Well, as you will soon see, pretty darn far...and to be honest, some females have no clue about their bodies either, which is even more shocking!
We have compiled a list of 20 times when females had some pretty ridiculous assumptions made on how their bodies actually work!
& They're pretty far off...(think two buses, a taxi ride and a long walk away...)
1. "I've had multiple cis male friends of mine have the misconception that the vagina is an opening on the front of the crotch area, right around where the penis would be if the individual had a penis. They didn't believe the clit existed, just a vast hole. Apparently, this is a decently common misconception. Go American healthcare system!"
Well, that explains a lot, doesn't it, ladies!? *ahem* That's it guys, you can keep fooling yourselves, but I'm afraid that just because you can't find something, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. #doyouneedsomeiceforthatburn
2. "I was told by another girl in high school that when nuns take their vows in the Catholic church, their menstrual cycles immediately stop for life because they will not be having children."
Wait! Wait! Is this actually a thing!? (Go with me, I actually want to believe this!)
Does the almighty just stop your periods once you sign up to his club? If so, where do I sign? #allaboutthatperiodfreelife
3. "I was told by a bloke on Facebook that the blood clots you get while on your period are due to poor hygiene."
Nah mate, nice try, but the blood clots when the red river is flowing out of a female's body at such an insane rate, it needs to clot, so as not to flood the area of a 5-mile radius with menstrual blood. #ignorantdweeb
4. "One of my exes didn't know to ejaculate in a girl is what caused pregnancy. He said it only worked if you 'really meant it'."
Seriously, what world is this guy living in!? What is he? Twelve years old!? Nice try, dude, but you still have to use protection whether you mean it or not... #sorrynotsorry
5. "My periods were late, and me and the boyfriend were worried because we use mainly condoms for contraception. He told me to just get my period on time the next month. He was shocked when I told him I don't really get to control when it comes."
6. 'If your fallopian tubes are in your neck that really means you shouldn't be giving oral unless a condom is involved, right?' Welp. That would be the case, BUT THEY ARENT IN YOUR NECK BRO."
Well, he obviously paid attention in biology class... #not
7. "So I was talking to this friend of mine in school and she probably believed her whole life that you could only get pregnant once, and then you'll just have to wait to see if you'll get one, two or more children. She thought that once you got pregnant, there were one, two or more single seeds in your body and these will determine how many children you'd get over the years."
I'm feeling confused just reading that I'd love to know where or how she managed to come up with that theory because it's like nothing I've ever heard before! Maybe it was a dream she had!?
8. "When I was about 16, a friend asked our Chemistry teacher if she could use the bathroom. He kept refusing until she eventually said she thought she’d come on her period and needed to put a tampon in. He still refused and demanded to know why she hadn’t put a tampon in before class, saying that she was old enough to know when she’d come on by now. According to him, a woman’s period came on the exact same day, at the same time each month. It blows my mind that this guy was a *science* teacher."
And this guy is meant to be teaching our children about how the human body works!? I think you need a career change, dude! Plus, denying someone to go to the toilet is just a douchey thing to do, anyway. Period (no pun intended.)
9. "I had a boyfriend who thought that, after giving birth, the vagina stayed that stretched out. Like, it was literally just baby-sized for the rest of your life."
I'm sorry, dude, but I think that would cause some serious pain and discomfort for us females, so let's be grateful that he is actually wrong in this instance. Urgh!
10. "I had a boyfriend who asked if it 'felt good' putting a tampon in. He legit thought you could orgasm from it."
Errrrrm, no...believe me, having our period and having to put tampons in is far from an enjoyable experience! #wewish
11. "When I was pregnant, in the early stages my brother thought the foetus could travel around my body via 'little tubes'. This came to light when he asked me if I can ever feel it kicking by my knee."
It's totally not true obviously, but I gotta say, the mental image of a little foetus having the time of its life just swimming around Mom's body through watery, space-age tubes is pretty funny...it probably ends the day by taking a nap on the brain at night, unlike this guy's brain, which seems to be the one taking the nap here.
12. "I had a FEMALE friend refuse to use tampons because she "didn't want anything in her uterus". Completely didn't realise the cervix was a thing. Just thought the vagina went straight up to the uterus."
– Megan Durham via Facebook
No, no, that would be pretty bad...and pretty painful. It's just a shame that some females obviously don't know enough about how their bodies work, to be able to make more well-informed choices. #gotoschoolkids
13. "When I took a mandatory health class (of sorts) in high school, one of the girls in my class insisted that the older the mother, the uglier the child would be."
– Claire Alexandra Brown via Facebook
Not only is this wrong, but it's also quite offensive! What has the age of the mother got to do with anything!? #rude
14. "I was told 'it's not real blood, it's just blood-coloured'. Women couldn't survive losing that much actual blood each month. You would all be too sickly to function'."
Yeah, well, in case no one told you, they do make us pretty darn sickly. & Blood coloured? Really!? What do they think colours it!? Like, do they think it goes through a machine before it comes out or what!?
15. "I met a guy who said that 'women can control when they get pregnant by accepting or denying the sperm'."
I NOW DENY ALL SPERM FROM THIS DAY FORWARD! Especially if it's coming from guys with brains like that! I'm sorry, but I want my future children to at least have a hope of having an ounce of intelligence! #kbye