20 Hilarious and Outrageous Lies That Parents Have Told Their Kids!

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Once we become parents, we no longer care about honesty and figure that the odd white lie here and there in the attempt to gain a bit of a quieter life is more than worth it!

So, to explore this idea, we've compiled a list of crazy, dastardly and downright WRONG lies that parents have told their children.

& It may wrong (and some of these kids will probably need therapy now)...but they're still god damn funny!


1. Whatever you do, don't swallow the gum!

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Excuse me a minute...

I feel really bad for laughing, but man, that's funny! It's just the mental image of having bouncy poop that gets me (yeah, I'm not very mature for my age!) I'd have been the type of kid who would have prayed for this to be true!

2. Well, this is clever...

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Well, it might be a bit sneaky, but it's one way to teach a kid responsibility! Still, I hope this kid got actually a Dog after this!

3. On the road to Braille

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Yes, Dad! Very well played indeed! There are so many things wrong with this and I'd like to say that I'd have realised the lie sooner, but I probably wouldn't have done, either.

4. It never rains but it pours...

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This is brilliant, that's definitely one way of keeping your kids outside on nice days! I agree that you should keep the TV for rainy days, but it's just a shame that she believed it for so long! Poor girl.

5. Well, it worked, didn't it?


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6. This is kind of sad...

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Imagine if you never got invited to birthday parties!? You'd never know the glory of a Chuck E.Cheese...actually, now that I think of it, that's probably a good thing!

7. I am not a happy meal, right now

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Instead of a toy, you get stinging nettles...actually, no, that would be a bit brutal, a bit like the lie itself, really...!

8. Well done, sir!

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This is a brilliant move...because we all know the deal, don't we? You tell your kid that the movie is bad for them and they only want to watch it more! Tell them that it's a boring documentary about fruit and BINGO! Excellent stuff!

9. Errr, what?

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Well, that's one way to traumatise someone for life...

10. The Naughty Kid Wagon

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I think that the freaking out is justified, quite frankly! I mean, it's easy to mock these people for believing in this stuff, but our young minds are so impressionable. I remember believing anything that was told to me, as a kid.

11. Meh, it'd still be worth it


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12. A pint of the black stuff

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Yeah, that's one way of putting your kid off fizzy drinks for life. I don't know about you but black water just conjures up images of sewers and dirty water...urgh!

13. R.I.P

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Want to get rid of that annoying toy that your kid wants to play with 24/7!? Then this is the lie you need!

14. Well, that's dark...

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To be honest, I'd STILL be holding someone's hand while crossing the street, to this DAY, if my Dad had told me this! Creepy, much!? Actually, I'd be worried about my Dad's sanity if he told me this, to be honest.

15. Oh, so that's where Bears come from!?

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This is so funny! Wouldn't it be so cute if it were true, though!? Little, tropical, coconutty baby bears! Awwwww!

16. & I never had Ice Cream ever again...

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What a snidey thing to say, albeit very funny! I think it's safe to say that this person NEVER got Ice Cream as a child, then? Poor soul!

17. Ooooh, the suspense!

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I bet you did, buddy! I got told loads of things about seeds when I was a kid! I was also told that it was where babies came from, naturally (and thankfully), I learned differently at school...although I still felt cheated!

18. Got ya!

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Want to find out when your kid is lying!? Then just tell them a lie.... and not just any lie, one that will result in them giving themselves away! Not that I'm condoning lying to your kids, of course.... *ahem*

19. Well, that's a bit much, isn't it?

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Not only would I have NEVER touched anything in a store ever again, but I'm pretty sure I would have been scarred for life if my Mom had told me this extreme porky pie! #calmdownmom

20. I see what you did there, Dad!

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A round of applause for this cunning Dad, please! You may have lied, but you certainly deserve your Doritos and beer for being this stunningly cunning, bravo!

What's the worst lie that your parents ever told you? Or have you lied to your kids? Fess' up and tell us in the comments!

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