Working in a pub or cafe isn’t exactly the most exciting or inspiring work at times, and so it’s important to take pleasure in the little things like seeing how many cups or glasses you can balance on top of one another… or writing witty quips onto chalkboards, whatever floats your boat!
Cutesy, witty signs are a good way for a little business to try and set themselves apart from larger businesses by appearing edgy, care-free, and fun – and hopefully by becoming a viral sensation!
They also appeal to college students and the ever-widening hipster market who like their coffee in a glass shaped like Jeff Goldblum’s head that whispers Nietzsche quotes to you as you sip it. And, thanks to the plethora of struggling art students who end up working in such places to support themselves while they finish that great American novel they’re working on, the result is some very funny chalkboards… hey, you’ve got to take your creativity where you can these days!
1.) Hipsters Not Welcome!
In fairness it can be difficult to tell them apart sometimes, there are just too many similarities!
I reckon if you fabricated an article about how Sylvia Plath slept on sawdust bedding then there’d be people in round glasses, short pants, and bare ankles atop brogue shoes sprinting to the nearest pet shop!
2.) That’s The Economy…
Now that’s the sort of deal that I can get on board with! Well, I would be able to get on board with it if they’d put in the apostrophe that is missing from, “Today’s”! Yeah, nothing gets past these peepers!
3.) Caution: Potential Bears Ahead
I mean, why risk anything when there’s the possibility of bears? Can’t wait until I’m sat in a pub and see you running past the window away from a bear chasing you down, you’ll look like a right fool then I tell ya’!
4.) 2 To 3 A Day Keeps The Emotions Away
Again, why would you take the risk of feeling ‘things’? Just play it safe, feeling ‘things’ can be just as dangerous as bears, if not more so!
(Disclaimer: bears are more dangerous than feelings)
5.) Soup Of The Day
I was never really that keen on croutons if I’m honest, so I think I’ll just take my whiskey with a side of more whiskey, the best way to take it!
6.) Buy One Get One For The Price Of Two
Another fab deal on offer and this one thankfully uses apostrophes correctly!
7.) More Coffee, Less Problems
I like this one, but isn’t the bottom one a picture of during the coffee? And not after?
Otherwise, it looks like there’s some spaghetti falling into his empty coffee cup. And yeah, I took it too literally, so what? I’m just annoyed ’cause I haven’t had my coffee yet!
8.) You Can Dance If You Want To, You Can Leave Your Sober Self Behind!
Yeah, that was a really old reference to the safety dance! I think you’d need to be drinking vodka to dance to the safety dance anyway.
9.) The Truth Hurts
Well, this one is just lies upon lies upon very clear statements of truth, and I don’t like it one bit!
10.) I Wonder Why?
I think my wife may have been behind this one…
11.) Well, Which One Is It?
Well, I know which one is really better for you… and sure as hell ain’t stretching into uncomfortable shapes on a sweaty mat!
12.) Public Safety Announcement
I mean, the sign ain’t wrong, that’s just science! So grab yourself another drink and force down that pudding that you didn’t think you’d be able to fit in!
13.) Chalkboard Poetry
This one is actually very clever and quaintly sweet, this place definitely has an arts student working for them!
14.) Judgement Free Zone!
And people say that being short is a bad thing! Well, I don’t see tall people being offered free dog water, so there!
15.) Sign Me Up
Get it, because it’s like sign… it has two meanings which is where the humour comes from!
16.) Overly Literal Man – The Superhero The World Never Needed
That is one hell of a smart as*, and I love it! I can’t imagine their boss was too happy with it though!
17.) Drinking For A Good Cause
If I’m honest it looks like the person who wrote the top bit was drunk when they wrote it!
18.) The Beer Flowchart
I doubt a pint would completely cheer up this miserable git, but I guess it’d be a step in the right direction at least!
19.) The Ultimate Threat
That’s one way to keep parents in line! I can just picture a pair of extremely downtrodden looking parents walking out of this restaurant with a kid bouncing off the walls brandishing a kitten.
20.) Is This The Real Life? Is This Just Fantasy?
Real life is very overrated I find! And actually, I also think that booze, food, and fun, is closer to real life than most of what the younger generations are doing! Is taking a picture of a meal and posting it online for people you don’t know to ‘like’ real life? Or is enjoying a drink, some food, and some laughs with real friends reality? I know which one I’d go for!