How To Reply To A Text From Your Ex In The Most Savage, Most Sassy Way Possible


1.) You Got Served

Every now and then, break-ups can be amicable, but more often than not they're... well, not! And, in this day and age, with the plethora of ways for people to be able to contact each other at literally any time, texts to your ex are a sad inevitability!

Whether they're drunk, you're drunk, they're bored, you're bored, or anything in between, the odds are you've received a text from an ex that has made you roll your eyes or fly into a hot rage. 

However, the ensuing messages show that you can use these unfortunate opportunities to have some fun, or simply by brutally savage and deal out some well-deserved retribution! Prepare to wince and cheer at these vinegar-laced cutting replies to exes!

(Source: BoredPanda)

Damn girl, that is one hell of a come back! At 4:04 PM as well, that's quick thinking for the mid-afternoon slump!

2.) The Tom Cruise Defence... Works Every Time

(Source: Instagram)

Who knew that Tom Cruise, that beacon of positivity, could be used for such savage purposes! I think it's safe to say that's a no mate!

3.) Honesty Is The Best Policy 

(Source: Twitter)

There can be nothing worse than an ex trying to get in touch once you've moved on! I mean, this is a fairly decent way to get the point across though!

4.) Short And Sweet

(Source: Twitter)

The good old brutal honesty route, definitely one that I personally like. It's amazing how just a two-word dialogue says so much about the relationship between two people... and none of it good! 

5.) What A Dog

(Source: Instagram)

Sometimes the pets you leave behind in a relationship can be worse than leaving the other person! I love the idea of the other person looking at their dog after this text and their dog just nodding away cool as anything.

6.) You Talkin' To Me?

(Source: Twitter)

The freakin' cheek of some people! Imagine asking your ex for a lift out of the blue like that, she handled it well though! I'd have been tempted to say I'll be there in 15 minutes and then never turn up, see how long he waits for! 

7.) The Truth Hurts!

(Source: Instagram)


This is so brutal I nearly bit through my lower lip! They even include the break in the message to build tension, masterful!

8.) The Grown-Up Way To Deal With Your Problems

(Source: Twitter)

Sometimes there is just no better option than to revert to being a child. It's guaranteed to annoy the other party more than anything else, while also being efficiently unhelpful, a double whammy.

9.) The Most Popular Approach

(Source: Twitter)

So apparently this is the most popular way to deal with ex's messages! Also, while I'm here, people need to start clearing their unread messages! Just delete them or open them and don't respond, how can you tolerate that little red '83' notifications symbol!? Does this not annoy anyone else?

10.) #wrecked

(Source: Twitter)

Good lord.

Wow Todd, you really got freakin' played here! I almost feel for you, although I've always hated the name Todd as I had a bad experience with a kid called Todd in school so I can't really feel that sorry for you. 

11.) Dirty Texts

(Source: Twitter)

This person must be shriveled up like a prune if that's the case! Unless... wait... unless they're lying! Oh you wily minx, it was all a ploy!

12.) Too Far?

(Source: Twitter)


I mean I don't know the circumstances, but is this one not maybe a little too far? Although they may live on the ground floor though in which case it really wouldn't be that bad!

13.) Faces... Just Faces

(Source: Twitter)

Perhaps the most bizarre entry on the list, I'm struggling to work out what the emotion they're trying to convey is but I don't think it's positive... 

Even though we can't see what the bottom one is, I'm fairly certain that it's gonna be the same face... or hulk hogan for absolutely no reason, that'd throw em!

14.) *Mic Drop

(Source: Instagram)

They must have been really banking on that reply. Imagine if they'd have come back with 'what you doing?', I don't think 'My standards, bye' would have the same impact really, it'd be mighty confusing though!

15.) *Sets Profile To Private*

(Source: Twitter)

I'm sure that this person will be making sure that that next Instagram post is the most fire selfie on the planet! (apparently 'fire' means really good in the language of Instagram) 

16.) Lord Douchebag

(Source: Twitter)

Aside from the amazing fact that she's got him saved as 'Lord Douchebag', this is a masterclass in twisting and turning like a snake on Ritalin!

17.) Please Leave Your Message And I Won't Get Back To You

(Source: Instagram)


I hate talking on the phone most of the time anyway, so the idea of talking to an ex on the phone? No thanks! 

18.) Silence Is Freakin' Golden

(Source: Twitter)

Now, correct me if I'm wrong here, but calling your ex 'bighead' when you're clearly trying it on with them is probably not the best start, as is evident by the reply! 

I mean, 'bighead', really? Read the room man!

19.) Watch Your Coffee

(Source: Instagram)

This smacks of someone who's been waiting for this text, they had the specific laxative line ready to go and it worked! 

Also, if anyone started a text to me with 'good morning beautiful soulmate', that sort of insipid fake emotional optimism at any hour of the morning would not be tolerated! 

20.) 'Groovy!'

(Source: Instagram)

We need some ice for this burn.

I wanted to end on this one because that guy must be one of the most optimistic guys on the planet; also, who does he think he is, Austin Powers?! 

Fair play he did wish them Merry Christmas though so that's something I guess?

Have you ever clapped back at your ex? I wanna hear all about it in the comments below! Remember to tag that friend who texts an ex whenever they're drunk... let this be a lesson to them! AAx