20 Things Every Dog Owner Secretly Does But Would Never Admit to


What's more is they'll never judge you, well not out loud anyway. Which is probably a good thing because if you own a pooch, then the chances are you've done some pretty weird, cringey stuff when no ones looking.

How many can you tick off from the list? Do you ever...

1. Suddenly fall to the floor pretending to faint just to see how they would react

and by rescue I mean lick your face until you can't pretend to be unconscious anymore

Usually the results are disappointing. They either look at you with a baffled expression on their face or walk off.


2. Spend hours doing photo shoots of your dog anytime they look the slightest bit cute

For most people, that one 'pawfect' photo is a result of hours of work, positioning, light alteration and 200 'drafts' still sitting in your photo library.

3. Show them their own face in the mirror or your phones front camera

That's you, right there, yes you!

4. Act incredibly shocked when you take their collar off and they're in the 'nude'


5. Focus on 'important' milestones in your dogs life way more than your own

There is no shame whatsoever in celebrating your dogs birthday, or the anniversary of the day you first got them, or the first time they sat on instruction, or the first time they looked at you in a certain way, or...

6. Feel as though your heart has literally been ripped from your chest anytime your dog chooses to sit next to someone else

I'm not crying... you're crying!

7. Say “bless you” whenever they sneeze

Manners cost nothing. Not that a dog knows that...

8. Decide against getting up to do something if it means having to move your dog when they're asleep or comfortable

I am chosen, I will stay here for as long as it takes. Days later...

9. Exclaim that your dog "made lots of friends today" whenever they interact with another dog for more than 5 seconds

Dogs are just so freakin' popular. I wish it was as easy for me to make that many friends, although sniffing other people's bums doesn't really work all that well in the human world.

10. Speak nonsensical rubbish to them in a baby voice... ALL the time

Come here Molly moo, schmooshy shmoo...

11. Decide against going out whenever your dog looks particularly sad that day

He needs me!" "I can't leave him in such a fragile state!

12. Make up songs about your dog on a daily basis

Oooh Rufus, you are my fave... you are so brave... I will be with you till the grave... oooh Rufus

13. Say their name in different voices to see how they'll react

Until you end up screaming their own name at them, they cower in fear and you feel as if your place in hell is confirmed.

14. Sit there and try and figure out whether they really know what's going on and what they're thinking

Do you know who I am? Do you know how much I freakin' love you!

15. Watch your dogs reactions intently when other dogs come on the TV

What dog owner doesn't?

16. Take forever to leave the house because you've got to spend at least ten minutes saying goodbye to your dog

Now I'm just going to the store, I'll be back in roughly 1 hour. I love you so very much, please take care of yourself. Please don't look sad like that, please. Oh my god you're so precious"... "Ok, I'll stay

17. Continuously try to hold your dogs paw whilst your sat with them even though they always pull away


18. Pet them with your feet when you can't be bothered reaching them

I wonder if they know how gross that really is?

19. Secretly judge other peoples dogs

who cares? Not as good as my dog

20. Feel like a proud parent anytime your dog does something as simple as keeping its food in the bowl or going to the toilet outside

They grow up so fast!


Yep, it's as I suspected... you're definitely a dog owner. 

How many of these did you relate to? Let me know in the comments Acidheads!