As you can imagine, answers varied from moderately strange to thoroughly eye-brow furrowing, but all of them were hilarious. So I've picked out 20 of my favorite illogical toddler breakdowns (illogical toddler breakdowns great name for an ironic metal band), guaranteed to baffle and amuse!
We live in a fair and free society and it's only right that a child is entitled to flush their own pee! So stop trying to flush other people's pee, it'll get you in some really bad situations when you're an adult!
If you have a sibling then you probably know that that chocolate has something wrong with it... but I mean it is chocolate, so what are you meant to do, not eat the chocolate, pffft!
Fair play for getting something back off of a child that they've already started to eat; normally if they've decided they're eating something, the only way you're getting that back is if they vomit or poop it out... you're welcome for that!
I don't think that the '(slowly)' in parenthesis is helping here Bruce, just rubbing it in a bit really... I mean we get it, you're fast even when you're slow! No need to make the kid feel any worse than he already does, what a gloater!
I can kind of relate to this one, knowing what you want is hard. I still can't decide what I want to be when I grow up and I'm... well, you get the picture... let's move on!
I don't know if that joke works written down, but read aloud it's an absolute scream ('cause it sounds like baffling... sort of)! As an adult there is nothing more relaxing than taking a bath... unless you've got one of them black bath bombs that makes the water look like something out of Lord Of The Rings, they're freakin' creepy!
I don't understand why she doesn't want the dog to eat it, can it be that bad? 'This pasta isn't good enough for my dog!' feels like something Gordon Ramsey would shout... is your child actually Gordon Ramsey hiding in a baby outfit, I'd check if I were you, he's always doing things like that.
Okay, this one is just too relatable. Red shoes are a statement, and you need to be sure about it, it's good to see your child is thinking carefully about these things. Either that or they're just really into the wizard of Oz, which is a possibility.
Ahh, child, some things will never change. Nowadays I just freakin' put getting caught into my plan, because nothing gets past the scales.
Driving always seems so cool when you're a kid, doing skids and going as fast as you want! The reality however, is sitting in constant traffic until your blood vessels collapse under a cacophony of horns and that one guy who wants you to 'get a move on.'
I like the idea of adults frantically wondering what that toddler could mean with the vague claim 'Up!' When the reality is very specifically translated to, 'I want to be lifted up in a little wooden horse and flown around until you can no longer hold me!' Amazing.
Imagine seeing a child learning your native language and thinking, 'that's so great that she's embracing a different culture', and then that child proceeds to undermine all of the respect she's just cultivated from you by screaming that you're wrong and rolling around on the floor... great stuff! That kid's future foreign languages teacher has one hell of a storm coming.
Chickens are amongst my favorite animals, and the idea of people being able to ride chickens is simply amazing. Just picture it, and I don't mean big chickens, I mean if chickens were still tiny but they were strong enough to comfortably carry human adults and instead of horses people rode around on tiny chickens! Not that I've thought about this before... (Disclaimer: I do not endorse the riding of chickens. DO NOT TRY TO RIDE CHICKENS!)
I don't know what is going on here but it's for some reason hilarious to me. Please someone tell me this person's child isn't still stood at the top of a staircase somewhere.
This just sounds like a mess, both of the physical and mental sort. No wonder your sister doesn't find it funny, they have a poop corner in their house, a literal corner where people poop! Lordy I just hope it's not carpet in there, that'd be even worse.
Again, like the brother one earlier, if you have a sister then you are probably thinking, "that's exactly the sort of nonsense that my sister would freakin' pull!"
The thing that makes me laugh so much about this one isn't the phrase 'screaming for him to share this nonexistent lollipop', but the image of the distressed mother having to become party to this bizarre world of fantasy confectionary! The things we find ourselves doing for freakin' kids!
Maybe you should get an air conditioner dude! How hot is your house that your kid wants to move into the fridge?