Lucky, that is, apart from the fact that they are INCREDIBLY inconvenient and having them brings a plethora of struggles every damn day of our lives! But don't worry ladies, we're all in this together!
FINE. I guess I'll just stick to my freakin' muu-muu's then while you rock around wearing that cute spaghetti strap singlet. WHATEVER.
And it doesn't just stop at crumbs either, oh no. Literally, anything can get lost down there; jewelry, money, earphones, my dignity. The list goes on, and chances are you'll never see them again. Your boobs are a black hole, honey.
WE HONESTLY CAN'T WIN.
Honestly, the only reason I have any muscle in my upper arms whatsoever is due to all the times I've chanced to wear a strapless bra.
I also have a great smile too y'know! Not that you probably ever noticed I actually have a face.
Look, your friends love you, but they fear for their lives every time they hug you. It's not your fault, you just... don't know your boobs own suffocating abilities!?
There's no escaping it, it's inevitable. One day you'll reach a certain age and you'll have lost the Battle of the Boobs completely. So enjoy them now while you can... I guess!?
This is another one that belongs on the "Risk of Possible Suffocation" list. Yes, that's right, even lying down could kill us. Still think big boobs are so great?
Lift weights? Hunny, I lift weights every time I stand up with these freakin' things strapped to my chest.
You start to become very suspicious of peoples motives for lying down on you. Yes, I know they're comfy as heck, but I'm not your personal portable napping vessel!
Sorry kids, the only thing coming out of these, for now, is sweat and shame.
Raise your hands if you've ever had to dig yourself "boob holes" in the sand? Of course, you have. It feels heavenly and you wish you could dig boob holes into literally every surface you ever dare to lay down upon.
Like, OW! I know you're standing a foot away from me but if you're gonna insist on flinging your arms around like that you're gonna need to do it at least another 2 feet outside of my personal space, thanks.
Long chain? Forget about it. It's either chokers or nothing.
It's hot out? Boob sweat. It's cold out? Boob sweat. It's a very nice, mild room temperature? Yep, you got it, boob sweat.
They may be a giant pain in most areas of your life, but when it comes to smuggling in illegal snacks at the cinema or trying to get back the doorman if a 75cl bottle of your favorite liquor... you totally got this.