Bodybuilder at six, babysitter at seven
All the parenting books say it’s important for your baby to adapt to your routine, rather than the other way around. That’s why it’s recommended to run the dishwasher and vacuum the living room while your infant naps during the first few days, so that they grow up able to sleep through any disturbance. That doesn’t mean it isn’t terrifying to see this man holding up an enormous weight just inches away from his baby’s head.
Couch to 5k potato
Either this photo is rare proof that toys and dolls do indeed have body image issues, and have their own mini gyms that they attend along with tiny humanoid fairies, or this is a full-sized person training for a marathon of a pub crawl or bachelor party. No matter which it is, they are probably working up enough of a sweat to turn themself into a baked potato.
Kill Bill 3 looks absolutely wild
Building your own custom programme in the gym takes a lot of courage, but it’s the best way to tailor your workout to your goals and fitness level. For example, if you’re looking to take revenge on a jealous ex-lover who attempted to murder you on your wedding day, then you’re going to want a decent balance of strength vs cardio, plus some flexibility work for those high kicks!
Never skipped leg day
A few years ago, jokes about “Dorito men” were everywhere, poking fun at those guys who always skipped leg day and ended up looking like a triangle as a result. Nowadays, dudes have the opposite problem, focussing so much on their lower half that they end up with monstrous calves and thighs. Maybe they’re all signed up for a watermelon-crushing competition we don’t know about?
All the exercise has gone to his head
Talk about working out in your own way! This guy has either read somewhere that letting the blood rush to your head and arms helps you to build muscle faster, or he’s training for some kind of James Bond/Saw trap escape scenario, where he has to free himself from bulky restraints while upside down and underwater. At the very least, his strategy seems to be working to intimidate and baffle his gym buddies!
Getting your… steps in?
Be honest: have you ever had one lazy day in the middle of a productive week and wished you could just… lie to your Apple watch? Well, if you want to up your step count in order to post a perfect week of stats, then this is definitely one strategy you could try. Just make sure to actually walk your segway to the gym in order to get a little bit of the health benefits.
That stretch… meowtch!
Nobody should ever shame anyone else for what they choose to wear to the gym. After all, most people work out better when they feel confident and happy in their skin, and everyone has different “power outfits”, from a pastel blue matching pilates set to a ratty Metallica t-shirt from the 90s. Still, this cat onesie is definitely distracting enough to cause someone to drop their weights in the middle of a set, so it should probably stay at home.
Walking to the beat of a different drum
When you think of high school athletes, you probably think of the American football players, the basketball team, or the people who get up at 5 AM every day to run track and field. However, the most overlooked school athletes of them all are the marching band. Do you know how much cardiovascular health it takes to walk 20,000 steps while carrying a 30-pound tuba, playing all the while? Plus they don’t even get a trophy at the end of a game!
Snoozing between sets
You know how some people say they live at the gym? Well, this lady sleeps there! It’s not that difficult to imagine finishing a workout, enjoying a relaxing wind-down in the steam room and then falling asleep amongst the weights and cross-trainers, but it does seem like an embarrassing mistake that you’d never want to repeat. Unless it’s a sneaky strategy for muscle recovery between sets?
Baby’s first dumbell
Usually, when people say “awww look at that, he takes after his mum!” it’s the parent’s smile or love of apple slices that is being commented upon. With that said, this infant apparently picked up a love of the gym from one of the adults in their life, and as such might be on their way to becoming the world’s first buff baby outside of a cartoon!
Skip the stairs, try the stairmaster
The Kafka-esque absurdism of the world can be seen in many places. Earth Day runs lead to thousands of disposable water cups littering the pavement, most of the commemorative Queen Elizabeth mugs you buy are made in China, and reusable metal straws come in through-away plastic packaging. Not only that, but if you want to get on the treadmill and walk for a while once in the gym, you can skip walking up the stairs on the way in!
Oh no! It’s the gym reaper!
Many people have a gym outfit that makes them feel motivated and excited to work out, whether that’s an all-black ensemble or a hot pink leggings and sports bra combo. However, this individual obviously wanted to either scare themselves into exercising harder, or scare everyone else so they could have the gym to themselves!
He’s really trying to get ahead of his fitness programme
If you see a person in the gym doing an unusual workout, chances are they are doing it for a reason. Lots of chronic health conditions require strengthening muscles in non-standard ways, and several sports require niche workouts to keep athletes at the top of their game. This guy, for example, might be preparing to compete in the annual “drag a fridge down a highway with your head” competition.
New hair, new workout regime
Very few things feel as good as walking out of the salon with a freshly done haircut and colour. That’s why most people will go from the hairdressers to the theatre, or out for a fancy dinner, all the better to show off their new look. This woman’s choice to immediately go and ruin her hair with sweat and workout frizz is slightly more baffling, but maybe she’s starring in a shampoo immediately afterwards?
Dress for the bar, not the barbell
What’s more of a power move than showing up to the gym in an immaculate pilates matching set, with a brand new water bottle, spotlessly clean sneakers and fully charged AirPods? Showing up in a strapless sundress of course! Either this lady has a packed social calender and decided to make the most of her time and dash to the gym, or she just loves working out in pretty dresses. Good on her either way!
Downward dog… with a dog!
Most adults struggle to find lifelong workout buddies. Not only can it be awkward to exercise with another person, but most people struggle to motivate themselves to work out in the first place, and so are likely to ghost the people they’ve made promises to. The solution? Exercise with your dog! Not only are they always excited to get out and about, but their energy definitely won’t run out before yours does!
The plank? No this is planking
No matter how deep you dive into the sport science, there probably aren’t any medical or physical benefits to laying flat on a shelf of dumbells. It is, however, a pretty audacious way to claim the weights section of the gym for yourself, and to establish a new gym hierarchy in which you are the Alpha. Of course, when it’s time for you to get down things will likely get even more awkward.
Would you like those muscles supersized?
Life has got to be hard for Ronald McDonald. Not only are you a clown who was created to bring joy to children but now definitely terrifies them, but you also have to keep your trim figure while eating nothing but chicken nuggets and fries. Worse than that, you have to be in good enough shape to fight the Hamburgler whenever he comes along!
Keeping up with The Flash is getting tiring
If the Lego Batman movie is to be believed, then Batman has 100s of specialised outfits, a giant underground den, and more technology than everyone in Arkham put together. That’s why it’s so funny to see him clearly working out in a public gym, under fluorescent lights and in broad daylight. Maybe the energy bills at Wayne Manor were getting a little high?
Sure he can swing, but can he lift?
Batman is not the only superhero who obviously works hard to keep fit. Out of all the superpowered individuals that populate the DC and Marvel universes, Spider-Man is one of a select few who isn’t depicted with huge, bulging muscles and washboard abs. As such, maybe he’s hitting the gym due to some Peter Quill or Steve Rogers envy?
Another meeting of high ponytails anonymous
What’s the best part of going to the gym? Is it getting to shift from weights to cardio, taking a long shower and washing your hair or just grabbing an overpriced chocolate bar from the vending machine on the way out? Well, according to these women, the absolute best part of a workout is the pre-exercise selfie you take right at the very beginning!
Training for the leapfrog Olympics
As Kermit once said, it’s not easy being green. Maybe this frog has been unlucky enough to be bullied by the other swamp residents, or maybe he’s just struggling to consume enough protein to make serious gains on a diet of bugs and flies. Either way, he’s clearly working on his leg muscles in this picture, which unfortunately will only make him more delicious if he ever finds himself in France.
Spin class? No, this is a strut class.
We’ve already talked pretty extensively about gym power moves, but is there anything cooler than intimidating your workout group by stepping onto the treadmill in heels and a bodycon dress, as if you’ve just stopped by to get your steps in before hitting the club? She’s probably got Beyonce playing through her earphones and kale smoothie running through her veins, and rightly so!
Climbing up the leaderboards
Even if you don’t go to the gym often, you can probably tell that this isn’t how this particular piece of equipment is supposed to be used. Nevertheless, if you’re obsessed with rock-climbing documentaries but find yourself in a landlocked region with no mountains or boulders to speak of, then this is a pretty good way to get a climbing fix. Just don’t let anyone see you!
Pay Attention!
Weight training is a super common part of most exercise programmes today, but it can be dangerous for both seasoned professionals and fitness beginners alike if they forget the most cardinal rule: pay attention. When straying focus is combined with being openly disrespectful to other gym patrons you’re likely to get injured twice, first when you drop the dumbells and second when the person you’re ogling rightly slaps you.
Camera before cardio
There’s no denying that workout clothes are cute; they have to be, in order to motivate people to buy them and then feel obligated to exercise. So is it any wonder that the first thing many people do upon entering the gym is go straight to the mirror to take a selfie? After all, when would you rather post something to Instagram? When you’re glowing with spotless clothes and not a hair out of place pre-workout, or following your cardio when you look like a drowned rat?
He’s turning exercise on its head!
This is another person who’s more committed to working out his own way than strictly obeying the rules of the equipment. Maybe combing yoga with strength training is just an efficient way to be done with your workout sooner, or maybe he’s training for some kind of Mr and Mrs Twits style gameshow where all the furniture is glued upside down to the ceiling!
Crunch while you crunch
Have you ever had a workout buddy who you swear is trying to sabotage you? You know the type – they’re constantly suggesting you have a lie-in and go for a run after work rather than before, they flake out on gym commitments and they spend more time taking selfies than spotting you. Well this is more audacious than even that!
A spoonful of sugar helps the exercise go down
It’s good and healthy to reward yourself after workouts, it incentivises you to exercise more often and reminds you that even small amounts of progress are worth celebrating. However, it’s easy to get distracted by the treats that you’re using to reward yourself with, and for most people, it would take gargantuan amounts of willpower to concentrate on working out with trays and trays of doughnuts wafting their delicious smell over the treadmills.
Spotting your friend, or spotting something else…
It’s easy to get distracted in the gym, no one is denying that. You can get distracted by Twitter in the changing rooms, zone out with an audiobook on the treadmill and forget the weights section completely, or even just spend 20 minutes sitting on a bench and staring into space. That’s all fine, but what’s less okay is zoning out because you’re distracted by a lady just minding her business in the gym, and leaving your friend’s ribs to be crushed by a barbell as a result!
Sitting down on the job
Most people have had one of those days where they really do want to work out, but they also really don’t want to get up from the sofa, right? Well, here’s a convenient solution! It’s probably not as effective a full-body workout as actually standing up and running on the treadmill, but some movement is always better than no movement, and you could read a book at the same time!
“I don’t know, I just tend to bounce around fitness plans after a while”
Exercise balls are simultaneously the most fun and most chaotic piece of equipment in the whole gym. No other piece of kit is going to fill you with as much childlike glee, but no other workout machine is as likely to injure you out of nowhere like a temperamental cat. This man appears to have wrestled his into submission for the most part – but who knows? It could be playing possum while preparing to strike!
Snoozing between sets
Everyone’s heard about the runner’s high, the flush of endorphins and serotonin that’s supposed to accompany a good workout, filling you with energy and motivation. What’s talked about less often is the runner’s low, where the body plunges you into sleep as a defence mechanism, in order to stop you from working out. Either that’s what happened here, or this guy is coming to the gym to get a break from the three toddlers he has at home!
Getting those brain gains
Just because your brain is not a muscle, doesn’t mean you can’t exercise it! Reading is a great way to give your brain a workout, but the gym might not be the best setting for it, since nothing about bright lights, clanging machines and blasting pop music says “deep focus and relaxation.” Or maybe this person just brought a book to kill time waiting for that one guy to finally get off the rowing machine!
Always wear a helmet!
You know how some dancers will always make sure to rehearse in the shoes they have to wear during a performance? Well, this is kind of like that! This guy is clearly training for some kind of race, and wanted to make the practice experience as close to the right thing as possible, right down to the outfit! Or maybe he just thinks he looks dashing?
Head in the clouds, feet on the bike
Not all gyms are as shiny and modern as the built-in spa, green juice on tap, hot yoga classes three times a week complexes that you can find in LA. For many people, choosing a gym means picking a place within walking distance that doesn’t cost more than an annual Netflix subscription per month, and staying loyal to it even if it has a hole in the ceiling.
Training for the circus just got intense
When your gym has limited equipment, you have to be pretty creative to build a programme that’s specific to your needs. That means using pieces of kit in new and unexpected ways, combining various exercises, and most of all being unafraid to look a little silly. This guy, for example, has finally found a workout that replicates the experience of carrying pails of milk around on stilts!
Don’t drop it!
Spending time in any communal space in sandals is a pretty dicey endeavour, but the grossness is especially obvious when it comes to gyms. Not only do the foam mats soak up all kinds of bacteria, but everyone is sweating and exerting themselves, not to mention sharing showers and changing rooms. With all that said, if you’re planning on wearing sandals anyway, then the very last thing you should do is start working with free weights.
I get by with a little help from my friends
There’s no better feeling than working out with a friend who you know has your back, encouraging you to push the limits of your stamina and celebrating your achievements alongside you. The flipside, however, is when you have a workout buddy who will enable even your most insane ideas, only to laugh at you when you inevitably end up in a tangled mess on the floor.
He’s doing the heavy lifting… in the conversation
We’ve all encountered a person like this at the gym. They seem to be using a particular piece of equipment, but then you look closer and realise that they’re doing something totally unrelated: talking on the phone, checking Twitter or retying their laces for the thousandth time. So you politely wait to work in, moving closer and closer until you’re practically sitting on their lap, and they still remain obstinate!
Zuckerberg wishes he had these gains!
Speaking of people doing things in the gym that can in no way be considered exercise, this guy isn’t working out unless he’s doing some kind of finger and thumb dexterity plan to make him a speedier tweeter. The question is: did he bring his laptop to the gym deliberately, or did a Facebook thread so urgent come up that he had to dash to the gym with it in his bag?
Just put your feet up
Plenty of people go to the gym to relax, but they usually chill out by exercising, not just by being in the space. As it goes, the gym is one of the worst places imaginable to simply hang out: it’s loud, it’s smelly, it’s bright, and it’s either freezing cold due to air con or way too hot and stuffy. So why oh why would you choose the gym to put your feet up? Is your wife having a girls’ night at home?
“Hey honey, could you make me a protein shake?”
People who talk loudly on the phone while riding the train or bus are some of the world’s most impolite people, but those who gab while in the gym aren’t far behind. Nobody you’re having a conversation with outside of the gym wants to hear your ugly workout noises and, likewise, the people in the gym don’t want to hear you loudly talking about what you’re going to have for dinner or yesterday’s episode of Eastenders.
Just dropping trou in the gym, no big deal
Women catch a lot of flack for taking gratuitous selfies in the gym, but they’re nowhere near the only offenders. Guys are just as likely to want to document their progress or flex their vanity either before or instead of working out, and the results are just as hilarious. With that said, if showcasing your body is that important to you it’s worth just committing and taking your trousers all the way off, rather than letting them hang out around your ankles.
Every day is cheat day!
Lots of elite athletes, bodybuilders and pro wrestlers have to eat an insane amount of carbs and sugar every day, just to make sure they have enough calories to burn over the course of their exercise and activities. However, even the Rock, who eats 20 pancakes covered in chocolate sauce and sweets every morning, doesn’t eat ice cream in the middle of a workout. Maybe he should try it?
She’s got her head in the sand
Either this lady is trying out a cutting-edge, ostrich-inspired workout designed to help you get out of any emergency which involves you having your head stuck in the sand, or she just isn’t sure how to use the machine. Or she dropped an earring on the other side of the equipment and, rather than simply reach around to grab it, decided to go through the gap and ended up trapped. In any case, at least she’s managing to keep her cool?
Healthy brain, healthy body
People who can work out in the morning have a level of optimism, energy and commitment to their goals that most people simply do not possess. However, science does say that the best way to build a new habit is to connect it to a habit you already have. So this person, by reading the morning paper in the gym, has actually hacked their brain into wanting to exercise – wow!
One arm at a time
Even if you’ve been going to the gym for a while, getting into lifting weights can be super intimidating. Not only does it seem like something that could get you injured if you do it wrong, but there’s also the fear of judgement from the men who strut around like the free weights section belongs to them and them alone. By visibly struggling, this guy makes the weights section a friendlier and less scary place for all of us, so bravo!
You snooze, you lose
Plenty of different kinds of exercise have a reputation for being relaxing, from yoga and pilates to any kind of cool down. However, you have to have unlocked a whole new level of calm in order to fall asleep on a medicine ball, especially considering that they turn your skin into velcro the second you have to pull away and get up. Ouch!
Burning calories, crunching numbers
Many people complain that their day job is so busy that they can’t possibly make time for the gym, but in truth, there are plenty of ways to get around that! From standing desks to foldable treadmills that you can use while doing other tasks, there are plenty of ways to stay healthy while working on spreadsheets or playing video games. This guy is certainly managing it!
Liquid cheat day
Ever heard the phrase, you have to take the bitter with the sweet? Well, this lady certainly typifies that philosophy! There aren’t many gyms that would let you bring a cocktail with a sugared rim into the workout area with you, so either her country club has a gym with a bar built-in, or she just decided a long time ago to do what she needed to do. Shine on, lady!
There’s a right way… and this way
When it comes to the gym, everyone starts out not knowing a lot, and the only way to build up expertise is to work out often and watch what other, more experienced people are doing. However, nothing is more upsetting than watching someone who clearly doesn’t know how to use the equipment struggle, knowing they are getting too frustrated for anyone to help them. Just look how red this guy’s face is!
This is called the mermaid pose
The truth is, even if you don’t have a clue what exercise a certain machine is for, do something with enough confidence and people will believe you. For example, this woman is definitely being stared at by the other gym patrons, but they seem to be assuming she just has her own unique workout style and goals, rather than that she is totally lost and panicking.
The gym makes me want to curl into a ball…
The first time you walk into a new gym, with patrons you’ve never seen before and equipment you’re unfamiliar with, there’s an undeniable urge to make yourself as small as possible and not draw any attention to yourself. Maybe that’s what this guy is experiencing… or maybe he’s training for some kind of Houdini-esque, escaping from a beer barrel stunt.
To the stockade!
Going to the gym can often feel like a punishment, but it shouldn’t literally look like one! This man looks like he’s getting ready for a mob of angry peasants to throw tomatoes at him after he stole the prize goat from the country fair and set it free over the mountains! The only difference is that an old-timey, small-time criminal probably wouldn’t wear trainers!
Queen of the gym
How do you know what machines are empty in the gym? You find the highest vantage point in the room and stay there! Not only will you instantly have all sorts of data on what machines are always in use and which are sadly neglected, but you’ll also have the ability to glower down at people you believe are hogging the treadmill. It’s a win-win!
