Stairway to Hairven
Putting your appearance into the hands of a hairdresser is a risk we take every few weeks. Most of the time, it works out alright, given that hairdressers tend to be efficient in dressing hair. The salon environment in particular is expected to be 110% professional. Imagine this woman’s shock when she came out with three different haircuts.
Getting lines shaved into your head is a gamble. You never know how bad or good it’s going to look until you do it. This one woman fancied a floral pattern on the back of her head, and got this instead. “I showed her the photo and said I only wanted a pattern if she could manage it,” she said. “[the hairdresser] said she’d go for it and then it came out like this. I didn’t ask for a refund either cos I’m a bit shy/awkward.”
All this poor woman wanted was to have bangs like Dakota Johnson. Instead, she got this sorry excuse for a trim, which is giving massive Courteney Cox in Scream 3 vibes. Actually, it’s also giving Courteney Cox gets Dudley Moore haircut from Phoebe in Friends vibes.
Most women tend to do their own makeup, given the gung-ho reputations professional MUAs and salons have. You’d be surprised by how many just don’t have the diverse skills required to make every customer happy. Take this victim, for example. Where is she going, a five-year-old’s princess-themed birthday party?
Microblading is the procedure of injecting pigment under the skin to make eyebrows look fuller and more natural. It usually lasts 18 to 30 months, which is terrible news for this woman. She said: “I’m so nervous to [get them fixed]… I thought I did all my research and asked people and looked up everything and I ended up like this so I can’t even tell u how scared it makes me.”
Purple in the face
Pink hair dye? What could go wrong? A totally natural colour that looks very normal on humans and will be accepted by strangers all over. This woman thought she was getting a subtle version of the colour only for it to come out purple. “I washed it with shampoo & hot water for like 45 minutes. It faded to a light, bright purple. Still not what I wanted. I called the salon and told them I want it colour corrected. It’s my birthday in 2 days so I wanted it done fresh for that.”
The rise and fall and rise
What you’ve got here is a perfect three-act structure. In the first picture, the goal is clearly set out. Then we have the inciting incident and conflict in the form of a hairdresser who doesn’t have the chops to style such hair. Lastly, just when everything seems lost, mom comes to the rescue, restyles the hair and restores hope in the world.
This is what happens when you cheat on your trusted fixer-uppers. This woman thought it’d be sensible to switch up nail salons for no reason other than a change of scenery and was rewarded justly. These pen-lid nails are so bad, you wonder if she had been purposely punished for straying.
Halloween is a big deal. Getting make up done can be an essential feature of your costume. This woman spent $60 getting some classic ghoul make-up done in time for the big day, only to walk away looking like she’d let a child run wild on her with a $1 Halloween kit.
Cursors, foiled again
Tread carefully when sending a picture to someone planning on doing your hair or nails, as they may be obliged to execute everything exactly as they see it. Take this woman, for example, who sent off a picture of some funky nail designs she wanted while the cursor was hovering over one nail. If we’re being honest, this is pretty cool.
From curls to Chucky
Curling your hair can be difficult. Whether you’re using too much heat, using the wrong-sized barrel or curling in the wrong direction, your hair could end up seriously damaged if not put in the right hands. So it’s understandable that some seek out the professional touch of a beauty salon hairdresser. But judging by this before and after picture, you should do your research.
There are two things wrong with this. Firstly, the size difference is all off. But that’s really the least of this girl’s problem (who had these nails done specially for a wedding), it’s the coffee-coloured middle finger nail that makes this an abominable sin. Why? Why is just that nail and not the rest? Why couldn’t it just be white? This poor girl looks like she’s showing symptoms of some disease.
The “no idea” haircut
Cutting longer hair is a bit more complex but there’s being taken out of your comfort zone and simply not having any concept of scissors. It’s unknown what exactly this woman had asked for in the salon but bet your bottom dollar that it wasn’t this. The hairdresser said she had “no idea how this happened” and agreed to give her a bob cut for free.
The wood flooring dye
Who said ginger hair was out of fashion? If done properly, it can compliment fairer skin complexions like no other colour. This particular example is not the case, sadly. This hair was meant to come out flowing and evenly dyed, not straight as a ruler with block strips of colour.
What would you do if we told you that this woman paid $75 for these nails? Go out and burn down the salon responsible, probably. These first time dip nails look like someone has gone under the desks in a classroom, scraped off all the gum, covered them in piping hot glue and stuck them on someone’s fingers.
You’re playing with fire here. This type of design is something that could easily be screwed up if left in the hands of a salon ingenue. The victim revealed that she didn’t say anything when they were finished. “Should have but there was a language barrier and the lady was also very nice and I’m non confrontational. Had a good laugh and fixed them and obviously won’t be returning.”
Business in the front, nightmare in the back
Okay, we know what you’re thinking. “Oh, they’re not too bad. Yeah, its unconventional but pigtails are a classic look! What’s the problem?” Dear reader, those are not pigtails. It’s just hair. Do you get it now? How this woman came out with such a choppy mullet is anyone’s guess.
The “Tony the Tiger” dye
They’re gonna taste great! They’re taste great! I can hear the sound of Frosties hittin’ me plate! A beloved song from a beloved advert featuring everyone’s beloved cartoon tiger. But let’s keep Tony’s fur out of beauty salons, shall we? Let’s not people’s heads look like this if we can help it.
The… the… the… what?
Where to even start? What’s even going on? This is like an M.C. Escher drawing. With all due respect to whoever this woman is, what is happening here? Why have you made these choices? And while we’re on the subject, what exactly are these choices? Those brows could mop floors.
Cleopatra, if Cleopatra’s MUA was a baboon
Rule number one of having an absolute shocker in your beauty salon: don’t ever post the results. Why do this to yourself? Why photo yourself crying with some UAE-looking flag painted on your eyes? No one wins here – except those of us reading this. For us, it’s all very amusing.
Spray tan tear lines
You won’t find us poking fun at the spray tan. They’re a quick and subtle way (if not overdone) to achieve a lovely olive skin tone. What’s more, they come with none of the cancerous risks of those dreaded sun beds. But that’s not to say they aren’t without their faults. If you cry in the immediate aftermath of one, you may find yourself looking like this.
Prom makeup gone wrong
If you ever attend a prom with a theme of “someone doused in vegetable oil and then beaten up before suffering an allergic reaction”, then whichever make up artist is behind this is the one for you. This puffy-looking face had to walk into a room like this, with all those other teens. All those mean girls. Brave doesn’t cut it.
It’s customary to show a person the part of their head they can’t see at the end of a haircut, if anything just for confirmation that you haven’t messed up royally. It’s no wonder, then, that his guy’s barber didn’t even bother getting out the mirror to showcase this half long/half shaven tragedy.
Oh man. Imagine these bad boys on a chalkboard. Woof. “Basically the nail tech was very old and very sweet and I was very much in a rush to leave as these took well over 2hrs to complete,” the OP wrote. “I honestly didn’t realise how bad they were until much later and am going to get them removed plus a new set asap!”
These are the kind of nails people in jail would kill for, and then kill with. Seriously, if you ever have something like this done at a salon, you should have to get a background check and carry a license of some sort. If this OP has a boyfriend or husband, you can only feel sorry for him.
Man, this hair is crocked. It looks like someones glue-gunned the contents of a vacuum cleaner on her head. It cannot be stressed enough: do your research when it comes to beauty salons! Always! “I paid $200 and they didn’t refund me,” the OP revealed. “They said they did it perfectly. Ever since this I never went to a salon again! I do my own hair now!
Iced gem hair
Teenage boys are going through a weird moment in hair. The mullet came back for starters (may or may not have something to do with their age group having parents who also grew up with mullets), but this oddity is a style unto itself. That’s to say: it’s absolutely terrible.
Double bald spot cut
“Yesterday,” the OP wrote, “I paid $25 for a haircut before I started my new job. Today, I had to get a pre-employment screening…” Ouch. Double, handmade, bald spots are not what you want anywhere in life, let alone an office of people you’ve never met. It’s unclear what became of this poor man, but it probably wasn’t good.
Lips gone wrong
To the untrained eye, these lips might not seem too bad at first glance. But upon closer inspection, it’s textbook salon-appointment-gone-wrong. “What’s outrageous is I asked for a nude lip to match my dress!” the OP said. “I was too busy talking (and too trusting) to keep track of what all she was doing. Lesson learned.” Indeed!
This bride – yes, bride – brought in this photo on the left there as inspo for her big day, but ended up with what you see on the right. Oh dear, oh dear. It’s like an animal. Or a fish maybe. Basically, it’s not something you want hanging off your head when everybody is staring at you and taking pictures.
The courtroom cut
Order, order! Look, if this woman wants to become a barrister and bring about some justice over in England, her new short and curly haircut will fit right in. Anywhere else and she’s at serious risk of being bullied and mocked by everyone, including the hairdresser culpable of this monstrosity.
The textured crop. Jeez. Either man’s best friend or worst enemy. To pull this off, you really have to meet a “flawless facial structure and hairline” criteria. On any other normal head it just isn’t gonna work and this right here is concrete proof. Are those tears in his eyes? Yup.
Often, friends will help each other out to achieve their dreams. One girl over in America had a dream of becoming a hairdresser, so her friend said she could practice on her head. Big mistake! “This is a learning experience for both of us!” the friend said. “I straightened it and it isn’t awful awful, but it’s not good. I’m going to my actual hairdresser in a.m. to get it fixed. Not sure if me or my friend feels worse about this lol.”
In female circles, for whatever reason, silver hair had a bit of a moment a few years back. Girls saw Helen Mirren and were like, “That’s what I want!” But it came with its consequences. Some hair forbids silver dye, like this Reddit user, who came out instead with yellow hair. From Helen to Ellen in no time at all!
Shade match fail
It’s an uncomfortable truth of the make up industry that otherwise professional artists who regularly do great work on white people are often severely lacking when it comes to working with people with darker skin tones. This unfortunate woman is a prime example of failing to match shades that aren’t Caucasian.
Cat lady hair
It doesn’t matter how much you communicate or how many reference photos you show to a hairdresser, some will either be too scared to admit it’s more than they can handle, or they just go with something completely different without getting your consent. This poor woman left looking like a crazy cat lady.
The bob from Hell
The Karen haircut isn’t exactly hot. In fact, it’s the most derided haircut a woman could ever get. But bad choices shouldn’t result in bad cuts. “The manager was horrified and tried to blend it but it was hard with it being so short,” the OP said. “I am VERY thankful that she did what she could and has set up future appointments for every two months going forward (free) so that she can do what she can to get it back to my original style, but said it will take a few years.
The “orange creamsicle” dye
“I told him the contrast was too stark and he insisted ‘It’ll be ok after fading,'” the OP said. “Nope. I’ve dyed my hair before…fading won’t fix a bad bleach job. It’s just been a day and my hair is already fading like crazy too. The ends are now the colour or strawberry milkshake and orange creamsicle puked out.” We can’t add anything to that vivid description.
The “Snoop Dogg”
Snoop Dogg’s famous hair may be dated, but with the right look and the right confidence some men could still make it work. The same cannot be said for this woman. This picture is evidence of that. We know it. She knows it. The head in the hands speaks volumes.
The “insomnia” look
A lot of women have tried to perfect the charmingly rustic “just got out of bed” look. But it’s always unrealistic. This, however, is. If you’ve slept terribly after a night out, this is a more accurate depiction of your appearance the morning after. Maybe not something you’d want from a MUA, though…