The general wisdom in this area is that, once you're past the Terrible Twos, you're over the worst of it. However, one mom has a new theory, that what really takes it out of you are what she calls the "Eff-You Fours".
"I've heard and been through the terrible twos, but I must admit, nothing has prepared me for the “eff you fours,” Laura Mazza said in a new post on her popular blog 'Mom on the Run'.
"My 4-year-old is a lunatic. He is a no-limit soldier and I, his prisoner. He is accident prone, wild, and careless. He has knocked out his two front teeth, split his head open, and broken his leg. Every day is a new adventure of an anxiety-ridden nightmare."
I'm sure many parents can relate to this one - with increased mobility comes more opportunities for your little ones to get themselves into trouble!
"He is the king of his world, and I am but a mere peasant existing in it," she says in her blog, going on to give specific examples of why he's such a nightmare at this age.
"The other day he promptly told me he pooped outside and the dog ate it. In disbelief I asked him to clarify and he asked me, "Are you deaf? I said I did a sh*t outside." He walked me through step by step on how he did it. I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry, but that’s life with a 4-year-old, hey? So you gotta do both."
Wow. Where did he learn language like that?
Laura has some hilarious descriptions of her little terror, too:
"He is a drunk, demanding adult stuck in a little person’s body with little hands and no knuckles."
"(he) hates tags on the back of his T-shirts but will rub his face in grass. His major talent is singing anything I ask him to do to the tune of baby shark. “Wipe my bum do do do do....” and navigating YouTube but not knowing how to pick up his toys."
I have to say, that sounds like every other small child I know. It's convenient how they can do one but not the other, huh?
Laura continued: "He is an inappropriate parrot that saves his best one-liners, and all the info you thought he wasn’t listening to, for the supermarket or the in-laws."
"One time an elderly lady asked him how old he was, to which he replied, “You must be ready for heaven years old?”
I often find myself saying, “Sorry, he’s just a little excited.” Or, “Sorry he’s just a bit tired.” Or, “You know, some days he is just a jerk.” Or, “I don’t know that kid...”
But what I really want to say is, “Actually, he is just 4 and I really love him, just the way he is.”
Ain't that the truth! Despite the hell that they put us through every day, we love our kids to the moon and back.