Green is a pretty difficult colour for baking as it is, especially this particular garish tone. But if you lump the head of Shrek on there, you’re really in trouble. To be fair, we can’t be sure this is Shrek and not Binky Barnes from 90s cartoon Arthur. The exact details aren’t really vital here.


They’ll be there for you! But not when you misspell the show “Friends” and forget the last letter altogether. This cake is a savage indictment of the sitcom’s fanbase, a wider insult to the history of baking, and overall grim-looking. Still, who knows, this could be a meta nod to Rachel’s infamous attempt at dessert-making. In that event, top marks!


Jacinda Ardern, the level-headed Prime Minister of New Zealand, is often lauded as one of the good ones; a rare leader with a heart and soul who means well. None of this is reflected in the cake pictured above. This is probably what Michael Jackson looked like during his autopsy.


This is Stitch, isn’t it? Everyone’s favourite extraterrestrial blue koala? The tearaway tamed by Haiwaiian spirituality? That’s when you know your cake decorating game is poor, when it’s hard to tell what it’s modelled after. Presumably this was made for a Lilo and Stitch fan who is still crying to this day.

Cookie Monster

This just looks so wet, doesn’t it? Moist and gross. The real Cookie Monster from Sesame Street is cute and fluffy, and his endless supply of cookies always looks appetising. These cookies, however, look like vomit, as if the Cookie Monster has had too much and is paying the price for it. Not the most appealing thought when you’re offered a piece of cake to eat.

Peter Griffin

Look, if you’re going to make a cake modelled on Peter Griffin from Family Guy, you’d be well advised not to emphasise his chin balls. When punters approach a cake, the last thing they want to think about is balls - cartoon or not. Also, why is he bald?

Sonic the Hedgehog

Poor Sonic. In this cake rendition, the Sega video game icon looks like he’s been bitten by a rabid bat and gone plum loco. A shadow of his former chirpy self who’s now prone to a violent temper and frothing mouth. Sorry in advance for the psychotherapy sessions you’ll be booking this month.

Eat Pant

There’s such a threatening aura to this bizarre cake modelled on Bart Simpson of The Simpsons. The misquote ‘Eat Pant’ packs so much more of a punch than his actual catchphrase ‘Eat My Shorts.’ It’s aggressive. It’s like we, the cake customer, have no choice but to steer clear. And look at the state of Bart. This cake doesn’t want anyone to cut a slice out of it. Who’d want to?

Cursed Hedgehog

You know those articles that are like “Fish Living At The Bottom Of The Ocean That Will Give You Nightmares For Life”? This bid to create a chocolate hedgehog looks like one of the entries. We don’t know what’s worse: the slapdash spines, the blank haunted eyes, or the human teeth. All we know is the monster behind this cake should never be let near a bag of flour again.


Imagine this was the cake your comedy friends decided to dunk your head into? Not a plain chocolate cake or something with iced writing. No - this. The terrifying baby cake. The last thing you ever see, is that soulless baby as everything fades to black.