Lewis claims rubbing sperm into the skin can "boost oxygen and improve circulation to the skin, which will give you an immediate glow."
Lewis went on to say,
Don't give Walt any ideas! I'm quite happy looking dull as can be if this is the alternative! Get them sequins on, gals! We're not about this life!
Okay, so she argues a lot of pretty valid points about improved skin but, honestly? Even if this method of skin care had the added benefit of solving global warming, world peace and making me a rich as heck woman, I still wouldn't be opting in!
You'd think, given the wealthy clientele Lewis is dealing with, they'd be happy to splash the cash on skincare that didn't involve gross man gunk? Right?!
If you didn't fancy massaging questionable substances into your face then, fortunately, Chelsee has some alternatives for you!! But be warned, they're not exactly... low maintenance... Chelsee instructs us;
Hm. Yeah, I don't have time to be giving my noggin' an ice bath every morning, I'd rather have the extra half hour in bed...
She's pretty nuts about Coconuts and recommends:
Taking "a teaspoon of coconut oil first thing in the morning before brushing your teeth on an empty stomach. Swish this around the mouth 15 to 20 minutes. You will feel your lower face starting to ache as it's exercising the lower muscles in the face. If you stick to the same regime on a regular basis you will feel your face starting to get tighter.
But this also has other benefits, including antibacterial and antioxidant - it also boosts energy, gives you whiter, stronger teeth and helps clear the skin of impurities, acne and rashes."
Though I think we should all try to "love the skin we're in", each of us has a right to do whatever the heck we want with that skin.
So if a sperm facial floats your boat... why not?! Though I doubt it actually makes very much difference to your complexion...