Here’s What God Was Thinking When He Created Nature

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1.) God on spiders

Spiders, in general, are just horrifyingly scary creations. However, if this was what God was thinking when he made them, it makes it slightly less terrifying. From now on, spider webs must be called butt ropes.

2.) God on Parrots

Parrots cannot be trusted if you are planning on keeping it a secret that you’re flooding the world. God kind of shot himself in the foot there!

3.) God on Centipedes

Every time I see a centipede now, I’m going to feel really bad for it. God DEFINITELY shouldn’t have been creating everything when drunk. THAT’S how you end up with millipedes.

4.) God on Corgis

When you think about it, why do Corgis have such short legs? What did God have against them? They must be SO jealous of giraffes.

5.) God on humans

Yeah…God may have messed up a little when he created us. The Angels should have stopped him while they still have the chance! Now look at us, we take SELFIES.

6.) God on the ocean

God is a bit of a savage when you think about it. Why is the ocean undrinkable? It would be SO much more practical if we could actually drink it but NO.

7.) God on ants

Ants are probably one of the most defenceless animals that have no way of fighting back. So, it's pretty harsh to create an animal that is SPECIFICALLY for eating ants.

8.) God on swordfish

Swordfish is an incredibly cool name to have but it must be pretty impractical. I wonder whether they ever bump into things. Hammerhead shark on the other hand…that’s rough.

9.) God on snakes

It does look like A LOT of effort for snakes to move but they seem to cope okay. Maybe that’s why they are so angry and aggressive all of the time, they hate that they have to shimmy.

10.) God on seahorses

Seahorses are tiny saxophones and the males carry lots and lots of babies. God was definitely struggling to think of ideas when it came to seahorses…

11.) God on butterflies

Don’t be arrogant or God will knock you down a few levels. I wonder what moths did so wrong to end up the way they are. I’m not sure I want to know.

12.) God on bees

God was very nice when he came to making bees. He really did care about their knees a lot, which is why people are called the bee's knees if they are great.

13.) God on horses

I am definitely calling horses running chairs from now on. It suits them. I imagine this is the exact reason why God created horses, right?

14.) God on dogs

You really shouldn’t ever question God because he will end up making chocolate kill you. Who wants to live a life where the tastiest food in the world makes you sick? Poor dogs.

15.) God on plants

God doesn’t like jokes. If you make a joke, god will make you a defenceless plant that can’t even run away or defend itself when something tries to eat it.

16.) God on Jellyfish

Jellyfish sound so innocent and yet they are terrifying. I bet this is exactly what God was thinking when he made them.

17.) God on camels

The camel is probably the weirdest animal in the world. What’s with the humps and why do they love to spit at humans? Because God loves laughing at us!

18.) God on roosters

Why do roosters even make that noise? No other animal does. Apparently, it’s their own fault though, as they suggested it and God loved it.

19.) God on otters and weasels

Poor weasels really got the bad end of the stick. At least they are optimistic though! Otters are the cute ones that hold each others hand so they don’t drift away from each other.

20.) God on babies

I think God made human babies as useless at staying alive as possible. Most other animals are walking one day after birth and yet human babies are incapable potatoes for months. This makes no sense when we are meant to be the most intelligent animals…

So, there you have it. God created animals and nature in a certain way JUST BECAUSE. Maybe he was drunk or angry when he made certain things. Completely makes sense.

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