Leaving dirty dishes in the sink
You wash dishes and cutlery in the sink, so what’s the harm in leaving a buttery knife in there for a little while? Well, it turns out it could ruin your relationship in the long-term. For those who like a clean and tidy kitchen, having gross food-covered items stack up in the sink is a nightmare.
Constantly interrupting or talking over the other person
This is about trust. If your partner is constantly interrupting or talking over you, that means they don’t care what you have to say or don’t trust that it’ll be worthwhile or true. They might not even realise it, but it’s the beginning of a slippery slope towards seeing you as little more than an accessory in their lives.
Running late
Time is the only resource in the world that we can never get back. If you don’t respect your partner’s time, it means you don’t respect them. Sure, you might think running ten minutes behind here and there isn’t such a big deal, but it all adds up. It’s even worse if your partner is waiting with friends and you’re the reason everyone gets delayed.
Always leaving the toilet seat up
It’s a bit of a cliché, but leaving the toilet seat up really does show a lack of consideration. It’s lazy and implies that the person who left the seat up considers the house to be their space, and their partner little more than a guest in it. Plus, it can be disastrous if you’re going to the bathroom in the middle of the night…
Nitpicking about small things
“Agree to disagree” is a well-worn phrase that has swept innumerable feuds under the rug over the years. But far from it being a meaningless get-out-jail-free card, agreeing to disagreeing is something couples should practise more often. That’s because there’s more to a relationship than being right. If you nitpick all the time, the relationship becomes a competition. That’s not love!
Leaving lights on in empty rooms
Who’s reading in that empty room? A ghost? Then turn it off! The goal of a relationship is to build a life together over a long period of time, and wasting energy (and therefore money) is taking a step, however small, in the wrong direction. It shows that you don’t value financial good sense and, over time, that can add up to a relationship-ending contempt.
Snoring
Studies have overwhelmingly shown that a good night’s sleep is vitally important to a person’s mood and ability to function. Sleep-deprived people are more likely to become depressed and will even hallucinate. So while snoring isn’t anyone’s fault per se, there’s no doubt that consistent snoring can wear down a relationship before you even realise it.
Being glued to your phone
Relationships are all about quality time, and doom-scrolling through Twitter or Instagram is pretty much the opposite of that. If you’re neglecting your partner in favor of reading a dumb joke – or, have mercy, liking some other person’s mirror selfie – then it doesn’t bode well for your relationship.
Being overly clingy
Intimacy is a core part of any relationship, whether that be everything the bedroom has to offer, or simply holding hands while out on a stroll. But be warned: becoming overly dependent on your partner to the point of clinginess has been a major factor in the demise of many relationships. That’s why you should practise your own interests too.
Constantly complaining
You’re meant to support your partner through thick and thin, but constantly showing off your negative attitude is a sure way to land yourself in Dumpsville, population: you. Complaining about slow restaurant service, lack of money, or the like showcase a lack of grace and gratitude in your relationship.
Being a workaholic
While a focus on your work is a great thing and your partner will probably appreciate your initiative and productivity, it can go too far at times. Skipping dinner to catch up on work, spending your breakfast checking emails, and staying late at the office are all habits that can start to create distance in your relationship and maybe some hostility too.
Not listening
It can be an innocent mistake to just tune out while your partner is talking (especially if you’re stressed, preoccupied, or just plain tired) but when it comes to the most important people in your life it’s worth making an effort. Paying attention when your significant other tells you about their day or what their favorite ice cream flavor is could go a long way.
Toxic positivity
Positivity is important and nobody wants to be around someone entirely negative. However, going to the other extreme and forcing positivity into situations can also be very tiring. If your other half wants some support and to moan about some issue they’re having with a coworker, telling them to look on the bright side and appreciate their life can feel very invalidating.
Not talking about money
When you enter into a serious relationship you have to discuss money. It’s a necessity to build a life together, and whoever your partner is, if you’re living with them, and building a life with them then it’s a serious conversation that needs to be had – not just once, but to build an open and honest dialogue.
Trying to improve your partner
Your partner is who your partner is. You may not love every aspect of them but trying to force your quiet, nerdy boyfriend into suddenly going out every Saturday with you and your friends is just going to push them away and cause resentment, even if you intend it in the nicest way.
Not making an effort with family
You do not have to love your in-laws, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make an effort to talk to them and see them for the holidays. Not making an effort with your partner’s family will just cause them to be stuck in the middle. This can create a rift between you and your other half that might not be easily fixed.
Not going out on dates anymore
Congratulations! You made it from the dating stage to officially being together. But just because you’ve been married for two years doesn’t mean you should stop dating. Feeling secure in your relationship is still important but be wary of falling into the trap of forgetting to try to impress and treat your partner like they deserve.
Getting too comfortable with each other
A little bit of mystery is important in a relationship. The hit comedy This is 40 tackled this concept excellently and reminded viewers that they should keep some things secret for the sake of retaining romance. Being comfortable with your partner is important but consider if they need to know all the information about your latest bowel movements.
Excessive PDA
While it can put people off from hanging out with you, there are other reasons excessive public displays of affection should be avoided. Many people utilize PDAs to portray the image of a perfect couple to those around them while hiding or ignoring the issues that are happening. More than that, it can look very unprofessional and affect your partner’s reputation.
Fighting in public
Couples fight. It’s something that’s inevitably going to happen and it can in fact be good for you to air your grievances and come to resolutions. However, fighting in public can turn ugly quickly – especially when someone’s ego is hurt or they feel self-conscious about having their dirty laundry aired. Save it for the privacy of your own home.
Never fighting
Holding all your anger inside is never a good thing, and it can lead to resentment building that can eventually cause the end of a relationship. If you’re someone who hates conflict and wants to avoid it, there are ways to confront issues and communicate healthily but this is one habit you need to drop.
Holding grudges
One of the most important tips for building and maintaining a long-term relationship is accepting that people make mistakes. If you have a habit of holding grudges, maybe it’s time to rethink this if you want your relationship to last for the long haul. If your partner does something that hurts you then communicate it, fix the issue, and let it go.
Bringing topics up at the wrong time
Remembering that there’s a right place and a right time for certain discussions can be hard to do – especially when it’s something you badly want to get off your chest. But just before your spouse heads out to deliver a really important presentation at work is perhaps not the best time to talk about your secret debt/your trust issues/how you hate their cooking.
Keeping score
While maybe when you first start dating it would make sense to keep an eye on who picks up the bill, once you’re in an established relationship doing this can be petty and give your partner the impression that you aren’t committed to being in a partnership with them. Naturally, if one spouse earns more it’s acceptable for them to spend a little more.
Invading your partner’s privacy
Even if you live with each other, privacy is key! Not just for the embarrassing moments either. Not having to tell each other every conversation you have is a great sign of trust in a relationship. Having your own interests, friends, and even harmless secrets can be good. That’s why invading each other’s privacy is something to be avoided.
Looking at each other’s phone
In recent times, phones have become so important to us. People can’t go anywhere without their phones nowadays so of course, phone habits should be monitored to make sure they’re not getting in the way of genuine connections. Looking at your partner’s phone is a violation of their trust and may indicate bigger jealousy issues.
Letting your appearance go
Putting in a bit of effort, dressing up, and looking your best are all usual moves when you’re trying to impress someone. But once you’re officially together with them the urge to wow may die down. Instead of giving up altogether and packing your foundation and exercise balls away, make an effort with your appearance to show your partner you still care about them.
Comparing your partner to others
Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy” and it’s as true today as it was back then. It’s natural to think about other people but once you start comparing your spouse to others, the more you may become preoccupied with their flaws. Letting negativity seep in is never good for a long-lasting relationship, so try to appreciate them for who they are.
Never having alone time
While you may want to spend time with your partner, there can definitely be too much of a good thing. Introverts often need time alone to recharge after extended periods of social activity. As well as this, alone time gives you time to miss your partner and appreciate them while they’re with you.
Combining friends
Having the same friends as your spouse might mean you have killer Saturday nights and Sunday football parties, but it also means that when you need to vent about their snoring, you might not find you have anyone to do that with. Having separate friend groups means you can let off steam without worrying about your partner hearing about their bad habits.
Little white lies
It can be easy to slip into a tiny lie here and there. But once “of course, I think you’re great at singing” turns into “I’m fine” when really you’re harboring major resentment about something they said that hurts you, it’s time to quash the little white lies. They get in the way of honest communication and can be harming your relationship.
Watching TV in bed
With so many devices available to us and more streaming services than ever before, it can be very tempting to drift off watching episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. It’s worth considering, however, whether this time could be better spent paying attention to your spouse. There are plenty of things you can do in bed.
Not eating together
Taco Bell looks very appetizing after a long day of work. But instead of slamming down a burrito, consider what else can come from dinner with your partner other than a full stomach. Taking that time to sit down, talk about your day, and catch up on how they’re feeling is so key to maintaining that special bond.
Always footing the bill
Grabbing the bill every time you head out to eat can seem like a gentlemanly thing to do. If you’re a husband looking to impress their spouse though, maybe think about the financial equality at play here. You don’t want your spouse to end up relying on you or to stop appreciating what you do for them.
Idolizing your partner
It’s very natural to adore your partner and want to sing their praises from the rooftops. It gets to be a worrisome activity though when your love for them starts to overshadow any flaws or faults they might have. If you idolize someone you’re removing their humanity and that’s not a fair basis for you to be able to maintain a relationship.
Posting everything
Don’t worry, there’s no evidence that posting an Instagram picture from your Sunday brunch date can directly damage your relationship. It’s only when you start posting your partner constantly that it can indicate real signs of a problem. Posting too much can be a sign of insecurity and trying to prove that you’re relationship is solid and going well.
Venting to your pals
Sex and the City taught every woman why having a close set of female friends is important. They help you work through issues, see what’s important, and remind you why you’re dating that special person. However, telling friends every bad detail of a relationship can paint your partner in a bad light and ruin their reputation.
Dressing up every day
Taking care of your appearance is so important for maintaining a relationship, but it can be taken to the other extreme. Getting out of bed to fix your hair before your boyfriend wakes up, spending hours on your makeup every day, or constantly dressing well can mean that your partner doesn’t actually get to know you. Vulnerability and honesty are key to forming great relationships.
Not having a best friend
Is your partner your best friend? Do they know you better than anyone else in the world? Do all of your favorite memories involve them? Maybe you should rethink your close connections then. If you invest all your time and energy into one person you can become reliant on them, and even drive them away with your constant attention.
Sleeping in late
Sleeping in late is a bad habit many people have. However, it can become pretty stressful for your partner. If you’re choosing lazy mornings in bed over pitching in with the cleaning and groceries, then it’s time for you to order an alarm clock and make more of an effort. Show your partner you care and join them for their morning coffee.
Always trying to be perfect
To be happy in a relationship, it’s not necessary to be perfect. Strive for balance by concentrating on being healthy and fit, but don’t obsess over your appearance. Rather than focusing on what other people think, focus on yourself and your comfort so that you can be confident in who you are.
Having low self-esteem
It’s important to have confidence in yourself when you’re in a relationship. If you don’t, you may find yourself always waiting for your partner’s approval. Self-confidence is a great quality that will attract your partner to you. Psychological studies show that feeling good about who you are and how you look makes people want to be closer to you.
Spending carelessly
Money is one of the top causes of conflict in relationships. Couples who don’t have enough to meet their needs often experience stress and hardship as a result. It’s easy to get caught up in a spending spree, especially when you’re dating someone new. But try to save some of your money instead of spending it all – your relationship will thank you!
Not sharing your past
Your past is a part of you. Trying to hide from it or pretend it didn’t happen will only hold you back from living an authentic life. If you try to avoid dealing with your feelings, they will emerge eventually. Find someone you can trust, or keep a journal so that you can get these feelings out in the open before they turn into something too overwhelming to handle.
Not thanking your partner
It’s important to recognize your partner’s efforts, no matter how small. The little things can add up. Good relationships are built on small moments of connection, so it’s important to pay attention to the everyday things your partner does for you. If you fail to notice or appreciate their efforts, both of you will lose out.
Talking during work hours
If you want to move forward in your new relationship, avoid contact with your partner during work hours. A casual “have a good day” text in the morning is fine, but waiting for that person to text you back is not helpful if you’re looking to grow and develop as an individual. Texting too often can also give you a false sense of intimacy.
Rolling your eyes
While it’s fun to get a laugh out of your partner with a silly joke, if you find yourself rolling your eyes every time he speaks, it’s time to take a step back and ask yourself why. Rolling your eyes can send the wrong message and make your partner feel disrespected, especially if he’s trying to share his feelings. If you catch yourself doing this, apologize right away.
Making them your priority
Being a priority in someone else’s life is a wonderful thing. However, if you make that person your first priority before yourself, you are out of balance and will eventually lose the sense of who you really are. Always put your own needs first. If anything happens or the relationship changes course, you need to be able to deal with it so that you don’t fall apart.
Moving in together within a year
Give it a year. If you’re madly in love and ready to move in together, great. But most experts agree that before you commit, give it a year – at least. This will give you time to get to know each other better and make sure that your relationship is built on shared values as well as chemistry.
Always paying for them
Lending a hand is a good thing, but it can also have negative consequences when you do too much for your partner. Lend them only what they can afford to pay back, and encourage them to become self-sufficient.
Sharing everything on social media
You and your partner should be able to share special moments together without putting them on social media. If you post every detail of your personal life on social media, you run the risk of losing a sense of intimacy with your partner. Consider toning it down a bit if this is one of your habits.
Apology gifts
When you fight with your partner, do they give you expensive jewelry or a new car as an apology? It can be difficult to know whether someone is being generous or manipulative when they give you gifts after fights. Presenting your partner with ‘apology’ gifts can prove to be an expensive distraction from the real issue at hand.
Teasing your partner
It’s always best to avoid making fun of your partner’s insecurities in front of others, even if you do it behind closed doors. You may have laughed about it together, but your partner probably won’t appreciate it when you make fun of their new haircut in front of the people they want to impress.
Arguing over text
Texting can be a way to avoid an argument, but it often backfires. You can’t read your partner’s tone or see their face when you’re fighting via text, so you have less information to go on when deciding how to respond. If you have a problem, save some time to talk with them later. If it can’t wait, call them – hearing each other’s voices is better than texting.
Staying friends with exes
People think of their exes from time to time even when they are in new relationships, but it doesn’t help anyone to be in frequent communication with an ex-partner online or offline. If you must communicate with your ex, make sure your new partner is aware of and comfortable with the relationship.
Getting lazy
If you’ve noticed that your relationship isn’t as passionate as it once was, try to bring back some of the excitement by doing something different. If you want to keep your relationship fresh, try switching things up with small changes. Even going to a new restaurant can be exciting if you do it together. The more you do to keep the romance alive, the stronger your bond will be.
Bringing up the past
You know what they say: if you can’t let go of your past mistakes, you’re doomed to repeat them. If you’re holding onto grudges and constantly bringing up old arguments, your relationship might be history soon. Think about seeing a couple’s counsellor to work through your issues and create a fresh start for yourselves.
Doing less chores
Philips recently surveyed 2,000 people in the U.K. to find out what causes arguments between couples. They found that 10 percent of couples fight daily and 17 percent argue every couple of days. The survey found that arguments often result when one partner in a relationship fails to pull their weight when it comes to household chores.
Hoarding
When you live in close quarters with others, it’s important to be considerate of each other’s belongings. If you don’t agree on what should stay and what should go, try to find a compromise that works for everyone involved.
Not knowing their coffee preferences
If your partner doesn’t pay attention to what you say and doesn’t remember things you’ve told him or her, it can make you feel invisible. You may feel like your partner doesn’t love you. A simple gesture of remembering your partner’s preference for sugar in his or her coffee can help build a sense of intimacy in your relationship.
Putting your parents first
Some people say that the family comes first. Others argue that your partner should be your top priority. Who’s right? It depends. If you’ve just started dating someone, it’s a clear yes. However, once the relationship evolves, the answer is no, as a spouse or partner should become your closest family member. If you always take your parent’s side, you’re telling your partner they’re not part of your family.
Believing in soulmates
The problem with believing in a soulmate is that you could be spending your life measuring your partner against an ideal instead of appreciating what he or she brings to the relationship. There’s no such thing as a perfect partner. But there is such a thing as a perfect relationship, and it’s when you’re willing to work through issues together.
Abandoning friendships
People who have been looking for love for a long time and finally find a partner can easily become obsessed with that person. It’s not good to do this because a breakup will be much more painful if you don’t have other friends or interests in your life. It’s important to spend some time apart. Mature relationships require balance – don’t forget about your friends!
Not cleaning after yourself
If your partner is more organized than you are, he or she may get annoyed if you don’t keep things tidy. Piles of dirty laundry on the floor and dishes sitting in the sink are examples of bad cleanliness habits. Couples should respect each other’s space, clean up after themselves on a regular basis, and not take on the role of housekeeper for their partner.
Never initiating sex
Always waiting for your partner to make the first move in the bedroom creates an imbalance in your relationship. It will lead your partner to think you aren’t interested in them and can make sex seem like a burden rather than fun.
Drinking alone
It’s okay to go out for a drink with friends every once in a while. But if you’re coming home late almost every night, your partner is going to get annoyed. Drinking frequently can cause problems for both you and your partner, and can affect the quality of your relationship.
Snoring
For many couples, snoring is a common source of conflict. Snoring can be incredibly frustrating for both parties because it’s impossible to prevent. If you have tried everything to reduce snoring, but the problem persists, it may be time to consider alternative sleeping arrangements.
Refusing therapy
Couples counselling can be a useful tool for maintaining a healthy, happy marriage. However, if you and your partner aren’t open to the idea of therapy or if either of you aren’t willing to try it, then it probably won’t be all that effective. However, most couples who have been counselling agree it was worth the time and effort.
Poor grammar
Texting can make it harder to convey tone, but we can fight back by using full sentences and good grammar. This helps your communication to be more clear, and it also shows that you are paying attention to what they are saying.
Sleeping with your pet
It seems that having a pet in bed with you and your partner can negatively impact your sex life. Research shows that couples are less likely to be intimate with each other if their furry friend is snoozing nearby. Pets can sense tension in their owners and react to that tension. Sex is a great tension reliever, so take time away from your pet to enjoy your partner’s company!
