People of a certain age will start to notice certain changes to their bodies, to their general outlook on life, and to the things that they find fun and entertaining (or indeed not so much anymore!). I’m not talking about becoming a teenager, I’m talking about becoming a thirty or forty-something!
We have a light-hearted look at 9 things that people of a certain age can look forward to….
1) You start to grow hair from every orifice!
I mean, why?! Why do your ears and nose start to sprout hairs from them? What’s the point? And if there is a point, why does said hair feel it has the need, or indeed the right, to protrude out of said orifice? Are they turning carnivorous and hoping to catch passing flies and bugs because you’re not feeding them enough?
Try trimming them – go on, I dare you! They just grow back, thicker, and bushier than before as if to say you’re not going to win that easily. Invest in a good electric hair trimmer – invest now and keep it well-charged, you have been warned!
2) You start to lose the hair where it is meant to be!
Hang on! I went to bed with a full head of hair, and nice bald earlobes and nostrils – what’s happened? My hair seems to have slipped off my head and crept sneakily into the front and sides of my face! What was once a proud head of hair now causes people to wince in pain if you stand under a bright light!
3) More hair – again where it shouldn’t be!
What was once a sleek and slender, stream-lined swimming bod, has become a floating carpet, with tendrils long enough for other swimmers to thing they’re in the pool with some weird bear/jelly-fish hybrid! Don’t bother trying to shave or wax it – you’ll miss some and it will just look even more ridiculous!
4) Hangovers aren’t just something that happen to other people anymore!
You’ve always boasted that you never get hungover, no matter how much you drink. You can mix your drinks, have wine, cocktails, beer, shots, and you’re fine.
The it happens – you go out one evening and have two pints of cider and a WKD and before you know it, you’re waking up the next morning with the room spinning both directions at once, you want nothing more than to remove your head so it will stop hurting, and you feel like the single most important thing is getting to the toilet urgently so you can kneek in front of it and become well-acquainted! Nights out will never be the same again!
5) You block the plug after every bath or shower!
No matter how much hair you still seem to have where you’re not meant to have it, the plughole seems to still get filled with the stuff somehow. And the weirdest thing? The hairs in the plughole are all longer than any hairs still attached to your body! Where the hell did those hairs come from??
6) Your body makes noises even when you’re asleep!
You’re fast asleep, you hear a loud noise and wake up with a start, trying desperately to work out where it came from – you look round and see the dog staring at you with disgust and realise the only place the noise can have come from is yourself. brief feeling of disgust. Then snigger to yourself, apologise to the dog and drift back off, feeling strangely proud.
7) New music seems to loud
You’re slowly going off new music and starting to really appreciate the songs you grew up with as a kid again, realising that they actually have a tune and words that mean something. The new stuff is just slightly too loud and if you do listen to it you have to turn the volume down slightly….
8) But the TV can’t be working properly, it’s too quiet!
You’ve always had the TV set to a particular volume. Always. But it must be faulty, because it’s not quite loud enough anymore. You’ll get it checked out at some point, because it’s definitely the TV that’s the issue, but for now you’ll just turn it up a notch. Maybe two….
9) Films that used to make you laugh hysterically just don’t quote do it anymore.
Ah, the Teen Comedy. Hysterical, re-watchable, never grows old, and you always look forward to the next one! Only, something has changed. This is all about kids you can’t quite relate to anymore. In fact, this is all about the generation of people you’re starting to hate because they still have everything to look forward to but are taking it totally for granted. It just doesn’t seem as funny anymore…. Oh well, let’s put on Only Fools and Horses, Del Boy will always make us smile 🙂
Which of these can you relate to? What have we missed that we have yet to look forward to? Let us know in the comments.