You’ve stopped bothering to argue
Everyone knows that a relationship in which you fight constantly isn’t healthy, but a partnership in which there’s never any arguing can be just as problematic. If you’d rather stomach problems and swallow your concerns because you know arguing never leads to any productive outcome or change, then you probably already know that the relationship is dead in the water.
They make you feel bad more often than good
Sometimes breakups happen because of an interconnected web of highly nuanced factors and scenarios. Other times, however, it comes down to something as simple as having more bad memories with someone than good ones. If you can’t remember the last time your partner made you feel calm, secure and joyful more than three days in a row, then it might be time to think about leaving.
You avoid telling them good news
In a healthy relationship, your partner’s success should be yours to celebrate as well, and vice versa. If you get a promotion, reach an educational milestone, beat your previous fitness record or just create something you’re proud of, you should want to tell your partner about it! If you don’t, it’s likely because you know they’re going to respond with bitterness, jealousy or indifference, not pride.
They say they’ll change, but never do
The idiom ‘talk is cheap’ can apply to lots of areas of life, and that includes your relationship. If your partner has made several promises to change their behaviour, by helping out more around the house or planning more dates, but the actual results never seem to materialise, they could be knowingly placating you in the hopes you’ll stick around.
You don’t talk about them to friends
If you’re in a happy and healthy relationship, chances are you like updating your pals on how your partner is doing, and they probably enjoy hearing about them too. If you like to pretend your other half doesn’t exist when chatting with friends, it’s either because your friends already have doubts about your relationship, or you’re embarrassed or ashamed of your partner.
They call you “confusing” or “distant”
Even in healthy relationships, there will be times when your partner struggles to understand your wants and needs or finds it difficult to make lasting changes. If your partner has a habit of calling you “confusing” or “aloof” when you voice your concerns about the relationship, they’re likely just trying to justify the fact that they won’t be striving to improve.
You’re always alone in your dreams
Dreams are where the subconscious takes over, and so any concerns about your relationship that you’ve shoved down or ignored during the day will likely be harder to avoid at night. If you’ve noticed that you’re always alone in your dreams, enjoying your freedom and having fulfilling solo adventures, then chances are you already know you’d be happier single.
They totally shut down during arguments
Stepping away for a few minutes or taking a second to breathe deeply and refocus are both healthy strategies for preventing an argument from turning into a fully-fledged fight. However, if you’ve noticed that your partner totally shuts down and refuses to engage during any discussion, even when there are no raised voices or accusations, then they’re probably committed to never changing.
You wouldn’t trust them in an emergency
At the end of the day, you shouldn’t be in a relationship with someone you wouldn’t trust to look after you if you needed it. If you know deep down that your other half would disappoint you if you were to get ill, break a bone, lose your job or need a new place to live, then it might be time to pack your bags.
They ask for things but never give in return
Relationships are all about compromise, but that means that each party should be doing roughly the same amount of give and take. If your other half seems to make demands of you over and over again, with nothing you do ever seeming like enough, but they also never help out when you ask, then chances are they want a subordinate, not an equal.
