You’re both willing to put in the work
If you and your partner previously broke up, it’s likely that the reignited relationship will require more conscious effort than before in order for it to work and last. Maybe the most significant sign that you should get back with your ex is that you’re both willing to put in that work, and weather any new difficulties or teething issues in order to enjoy being together.
The reason you broke up is moot
There are some reasons for splitting up that remain significant even if you decide to get back together. There are also more logistical breakup motivations that might cease to be relevant. If you ended things because you had to move away for a job, but now you’re back – that’s great! Now you can pick up where you left off.
Your friends agree you were good together
Obviously, your friends loving them isn’t a good reason to continue dating someone you can’t stand, but your friends’ opinions are one helpful piece of data when taken in conjunction. Your friends should want what’s best for you, so if you’re musing about going back to your ex and your friends are nothing but encouraging, then that’s a sign you should seriously consider it.
You’ve both matured since you last dated
There’s a reason why the saying “right person, wrong time” is such a cliche. Sometimes, no matter how much two people love each other, they just aren’t mature enough to make the relationship work. If taking some time away has allowed you both to learn more about yourselves, your goals, priorities and communication styles, then there’s no reason that you shouldn’t give things a second go.
You feel less ambitious without them
No one should derive all their life’s meaning from their romantic partner, but it’s a green flag if your other half makes you feel like being the best version of yourself and living life to the fullest. If, since the breakup, you feel more directionless and less motivated, and it’s not just the immediate post-split sadness, then chances are they were good for you.
You still love each other
Ultimately, no matter how good the relationship is on paper, it just won’t work if you don’t love each other. While love may not be enough to overcome circumstantial reasons why things ended badly last time, if everything else seems perfectly in order, love is the final ingredient you need to make a proper go of it.
You have more good memories than bad ones
Sometimes, deciding to go back to a previous relationship is an immensely complicated decision, with many warring logistical concerns, emotions, pros and cons to consider. With that said, sometimes the decision can be as simple as realising that your positive memories of the relationship far outweigh the bad. If that’s the case, and there’s nothing standing in the way of you trying again, what is there to lose?
The relationship has the potential to thrive
Even if you know that your ex is your forever person, sometimes it’s just not the right time to get back together. It’s important to give the relationship the best chance of success possible, and that means making sure everything is in place for something lasting to flourish, even if that means waiting a while for certain circumstances to change.
You both handled the break-up gracefully
Sometimes, you can end a relationship for reasons completely unrelated to your partner’s attitude or behaviour, but then see a completely different and unpleasant side of them during the split. If you both managed to make it through the breakup with maturity and honesty and without venom, then you know you always kept respect for each other and could theoretically try again.
You never returned their belongings
Usually, the moment when you return all the old sweaters and CDs and get the books you lent your partner back is the final nail in the coffin of a relationship. If you’ve kept a box of their stuff or never asked for your hoodie to be returned despite it being your favourite, then that’s a sign that you’ve always subconsciously kept the door open to them.
You’re both aware of your triggers
It’s important for couples to talk about the ways their relationship has changed and how things will be different. This includes discussing what caused the initial breakup and ensuring that those issues have been resolved before moving forward. If your ex has certain traits that drive you crazy, how will you handle them this time around?
You feel excited about the idea
Yes, getting back together with an ex might take some work, but if you really want to be with them again, you’ll know it in your gut. Are you excited at the thought of spending time with them? Do you feel good about yourself when you’re with them? These are both important questions to ask yourself.
Your breakup was unnecessary
Have you ever wondered if you made the right decision breaking up with your partner? Maybe the issues that led to your breakup weren’t as important as you thought. If you think that your relationship fell apart because of immaturity or misunderstanding, then it is quite likely that you will reconcile.
You’re not interested in pursuing anybody else
When you’re trying to heal after a breakup, many people say it’s important to date other people to move on. But it can be hard to imagine flirting with anyone else when there’s only one person on your mind. If you realize that your ex-partner will always hold a place in your heart and that there is no one else for you, maybe you can try your best to reconcile.
Your ex wants you back
If your ex wants to get back together, you need to ask yourself if you still love the person. Do you miss being in a relationship with this person, or do you truly love him or her? It’s your decision, but if you think it will work out, then go ahead. You both have to be willing to work hard this time around.
You’re both still single
If you both have been single for some time, this might be a sign that you should take another chance on each other. In some cases, being friends with an ex can help both people view the relationship in a more mature light.
Your loved ones are supportive
If you decide to give your relationship another try, it will be important to let your family and friends know that you have both decided to work things out. When you ask the people in your life for support, they may try to bring up negative incidents from the past. But once you make it clear that you want to start fresh, they should honor your boundaries.
You defend them to your friends
Your ex may not have been a bad person, they just made some mistakes. But no matter what happened between the two of you, you feel uncomfortable hearing or saying anything negative about them because they were really amazing to you. Even after your breakup, you still defend them to your friends and family and speak highly of them.
You can’t imagine them with anyone else
You try not to think about your ex moving on with someone else because the thought of it makes you feel like you’re going to break down in tears. Especially because you know your ex is a great catch, and you worry that whoever they date next will realize it too.
You don’t regret your relationship
When you break up with someone, you may wonder why you were ever involved with them in the first place. But if you could go back and relive your experiences with them, even if it meant having to go through the pain you’re feeling now, would the negatives outweigh the positives? If you can confidently say that you don’t regret the relationship, getting back together may be in the cards.
Your ex has apologized
If you and your ex want to get back together, one of the first things that needs to happen is that they need to understand why you were upset and apologize for hurting you. If they can do this, then the two of you can start addressing the issues that caused your breakup in the first place. If they’ve made amends, then you can start looking at the possibility of reconciliation.
Enough time has passed
You might both have been too young, immature or caught up in the moment when you first got together. Maybe some time apart will give you both a chance to do some soul-searching and come back together as more mature people. After time has passed and the wounds have healed, you may find that you want to start anew with your partner.
Your goals are now aligned
Sometimes, you and your partner realize that you have different goals for your future – and that’s okay. It’s better to end a relationship on good terms than continue it despite the fact that it’s not working for either of you. However, people change over time, and so do their goals and priorities. If both of you now want the same thing, that’s a good reason to get back together.
You compare everyone you date to your ex
Are you always looking for someone who is exactly like your ex? Are you finding fault with every person that you date? Try not to force others into comparisons that aren’t productive. A reunion with an ex-lover might be in order if this pattern continues.
You’ve kept in touch
If your ex still texts or calls you, or if you frequently talk about him or her with mutual friends, you may want to reconsider ending the relationship. Some people are better suited to be friends, but if you still have romantic feelings for each other and get butterflies when you see each other, a relationship may still be a possibility.
You’re always drunk texting each other
Although you’re no longer dating, your ex can’t seem to get over you. They call you drunk every Friday and Saturday night at midnight, or vice versa. The phrase “in vino veritas” – often translated as “in wine is truth” – is a reference to the idea that when people are drunk, they tend to be more honest.
You ended on good terms
In the end, you parted ways on good terms. You still loved each other and there were no hard feelings or resentment. You just knew it wasn’t the right time to continue the relationship. If you still feel as if you were meant to be together after all these years, maybe you were.
You’ll regret not trying
Should you give your relationship another try? Will you regret not making an effort to salvage this relationship years from now? What would you do if you ran into your ex-partner ten years down the road with a new beau? Would you be happy for them or feel overwhelming jealousy? If it’s the latter, then it might be worth salvaging the relationship.
You’re still not over the breakup
Have you ever been so heartbroken that you can’t get out of bed, and you keep reliving the breakup in your mind? Some people believe that broken-up lovers will eventually get over their exes and move on, but what if you’re still not over your ex after years have passed? If your ex feels the same way, then why not give love another chance?
Your dating life is a mess
You may be tired of being single and ready to get back into dating, but after one blind date after another, you realize that it’s not so easy to meet someone who really matches your personality. Give your relationship another try. If you truly feel that you and your ex would be happiest together, take a chance!
They were ‘the one’
True love is rare. When you find it, you know it! You feel a connection with someone that goes beyond words and butterflies in your stomach. However, not all relationships last forever. If you have found yourself in a situation where you still believe that your ex is the love of your life, and nothing has worked to get over them, then it may be time to make a move.
You forgive them
When you end a relationship with someone, consider how they feel about what happened. Are they sorry? Do they regret their decision? If you broke up with your ex, do you regret your choice? To reconcile after a breakup and move on, you must forgive and make up. The person who harmed you should apologize profusely and never repeat the same mistake.
You are open to trusting them again
Because trust is the foundation of most healthy relationships, it can be hard to continue with a partner who has hurt you deeply. However, if that person shows genuine remorse for his or her actions and makes an effort to rebuild the relationship, there may be a chance to rekindle it. If you’re willing to do the work, couples therapy can help you rebuild trust.
You’re both willing to work on the relationship
When two people are in a relationship, both people must be willing to continue it. If only one person wants to continue, then the other person will not be able to make them stay. If you and your ex are both ready to give a romantic relationship another try, you both need to put in the work.
Your timing was off
Timing is crucial in relationships. Sometimes you meet the right person at the wrong time, and sometimes you meet the wrong person at exactly the right time. If you meet someone again after some time and still have feelings, it’s okay to try to reconcile. But don’t wait for fate to bring you together again. If circumstances have changed, it may be possible to win back your partner.
They haven’t dated since the breakup
If your ex-lover is still single, give them a call. You may have found that while you were apart, the feelings you once had for each other haven’t changed. If you’re both still single and lonely, it may be time to get back together before someone else comes along. However, before you step out to try to win them back, it’s important to know why they haven’t dated.
You weren’t emotionally ready the first time around
If you met your ex while you were with someone else or were fresh out of a different relationship, you might have been too emotionally vulnerable to get involved with someone new. You might have thought you were ready to date again, but sometimes it takes more time to heal and get over the pain of a terrible breakup.
Your priorities have changed
When we make a list of our wants, we are often confused about what we really need. We think that money and looks are on the same level as love, nurturing and understanding. But they aren’t. For example, if your ex’s spontaneity or unconventional career path would have bothered you in the past but doesn’t anymore, your relationship may be worth rekindling.
You’re both on the same page
If you and your ex both want the same things for your relationship, there’s a good chance that you two were meant to be together. But if you are the one willing to make the commitment and your partner is simply a carefree type who isn’t ready for long-term commitment, then moving on might be the best option for you.
You’ve stayed friends
If you run into your ex whilst out and about, will you be able to greet them warmly? If not, then it’s unlikely that you’ll get back together. It’s fine to take some time apart after a breakup, but it’s important to be civil if you run into each other. If you fight whenever you see each other, then you won’t be able to move on.
