You avoid fighting at all costs
Fighting all the time doesn’t point to the healthiest of relationships, but neither does not fighting at all. If you swallow concerns and aggravations because you’re terrified that any argument could lead to your partner up and leaving, then chances are you’re holding on too tight. The best thing you can do is schedule regular check-ins so you can learn to communicate without fear.
Your partner won’t introduce you to their friends
In any healthy relationship, each party will have their own friends and interests that they pursue individually. With that said, if your other half won’t even let you meet their pals, it could be because you’re too clingy. Maybe they don’t want their friends to see how joined at the hip you two are, or maybe they’re worried you’ll become paranoid that their friends are into them.
Activity in the bedroom has dried up
Nothing squashes physical intimacy like the feeling of being stifled. If you’ve noticed that things have cooled down significantly in the bedroom department, it’s worth interrogating whether you’re smothering your other half with constant texts, calls and conversations. If you don’t give them time and space to miss you, then they might not be as enthusiastic about jumping into the sheets.
Your partner never talks about work
Unless your partner works as an international super spy or lawyer on retainer for the Mafia, they should talk to you about their job every now and again. If they don’t, then that’s a sign that they don’t feel like they can talk to you about areas of their life where you are not the main focus, and you need to gain some perspective.
You feel like you can’t be yourself
Clingy tendencies don’t just hurt your partner and your relationship with them, they can also hurt your relationship with yourself. Clingy people often feel as though they have to be perfect to stop their other half from leaving, and so they will change their approach to make-up and grooming, and even abandon old hobbies in favour of new ones that will appeal to their partner more.
Your partner is withdrawn and secretive
Clinginess and secrecy are two opposite traits that can both quickly become toxic, leading to a negative feedback loop that a relationship can spiral down into. If you didn’t become clingy because your partner was keeping secrets, then it’s likely that your clinginess has instead led to your other half’s secretive behaviour, as they feel the need to pull back and keep some parts of themselves for just themselves.
You’re obsessive about the housework
Another way clinginess can manifest is in an impulse to keep any shared spaces spotlessly clean. If you find yourself doing the dishes immediately after dinner, making the bed multiple times and ensuring your partner always has a nice meal and clean clothes to come home to, it could be because you think being the perfect domestic partner could prevent them from leaving.
There’s no romance anymore
It’s normal for serious relationships to become less fiery and spontaneous over time, but that initial honeymoon phase should be replaced with new levels of closeness, emotional intimacy and security, all of which create the perfect environment for romance. If little gifts, handwritten notes and nice meals are absent, it could mean that security and safety are missing too, which is a bigger problem.
You see your friends less often
It isn’t just your partner’s friendships that could suffer as a result of your clinginess, as your own interpersonal relationships might feel the effects too. In full-blown clingy mode, you might neglect or ghost your friends without even meaning to or noticing, which in turn could lead to you being invited less and less. Unfortunately, being more isolated from friends only encourages clingy impulses.
Your partner feels pressured to post about you
The absence or presence of relationship posting on social media shouldn’t be seen as an indication of the relationship’s health, as both those who post lots and not at all have an equal chance of things working out. With that said, if your partner posts pictures of you on Instagram and Facebook, but only because they feel coerced to, that’s a bad omen.
