They say they wish you had followed in their footsteps
If your parents talk about what they want you to accomplish in your life while not stopping long enough to listen to what your hopes, dreams, and aspirations are for yourself, then it’s possible that they’re disappointed in you. If your parents believe that the only way you’ll be happy is if you follow their lead and copy what they did, then they may definitely be disappointed in you.
They talk about how much money they spent on you growing up
Having a conversation about how much money your parents spent on things for you growing up can sometimes be a sign of disappointment or frustration with the way your life has turned out. If your parents talk about this frequently and hold it over your head, it could mean that they feel like their sacrifices were made in vain.
They are constantly telling you what to do
Do your parents think they know everything and won’t stop bugging you unless you listen to them? Do they love to tell you what to do and how to live your life but never actually help or care about you? If this sounds like your family, it’s time to move out, because they’re definitely disappointed in you and it isn’t healthy.
You’re not close with your siblings
It’s healthy and normal for siblings to have arguments about everything from who stole whose shirt to politics, but if these conflicts aren’t handled peacefully, it can lead to resentment and even hatred. If your parents are disappointed in you, they may try to turn your siblings against you, which is totally unfair.
They treat everyone better than they treat you
There might be something wrong if one of your siblings can get away with anything at home, while you and the others don’t get away with anything at all. If this happens in your family, it could mean that your parents are disappointed in you and are unfairly favoring your siblings intentionally.
They are unhappy with your career choice
It can be difficult to pursue a career that is not in line with your parents’ expectations. However, it’s important to remember that it’s your life and you have a right to follow your own passion and goals. It might be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with your parents about why you’ve chosen this particular career path, but their disappointment ultimately may not be rational.
They don’t like your friends
When it comes to friendships, all parents want the same thing: for their children to have a collection of friends who will help them when they’re in trouble and allow them to develop good values. However not every friendship is a good one, and when your parents disapprove of a person in your life, they might also grow to be disappointed in you.
You spend more time with your friends than with family members
It’s natural for children to want to spend more time with their friends than with their family, especially once they start progressing through their teenage years. However, as an adult, you need to realize the importance of keeping strong relationships with both your friends and family members.
You do not follow family rules and traditions
Every family has their own set of values, and those values are what hold the family together. These values can be anything from religious to secular, but one thing that is important to any family is the traditions they keep. If you do not follow your family’s traditions then, rightly or wrongly, this could lead to them being disappointed in you.
They treat you like a child
This one is pretty straightforward. If your parents treat you like a child after years of treating you like an adult, this could be a sign that they’re disappointed in you. If they no longer trust you to make good decisions, they may regress to parenting you as though you are a child again.
They treat you badly
Sometimes, it’s obvious from what they say that your parents are disappointed in you, but other times, they don’t even need to say anything – you can just tell from how they act. Your parents might be especially critical of you or avoid spending time with you altogether. You might notice that they look at you with a disappointed face or start treating you differently.
They’ve stopped giving you advice
In a perfect world, parents would be able to be completely present with their kids, helping them navigate life’s challenges. If your parents aren’t giving you advice, chances are they’re disappointed in you for some reason. They either don’t think you’ll be receptive to the guidance they give you, or they don’t think you’re worthy of it.
You feel like all you talk about is what you’ve done wrong
Even the best parents in the world will have some moments where they’re disappointed in how their kids turned out or how they’re acting, and this can lead to them becoming a little bit more critical. You might sense this shift happening when you start talking with your folks and you get the feeling that every sentence harkens back to something you did wrong.
They play down your past accomplishments
A sign your parents are disappointed in you is when they bring up times when they thought you’d accomplished something great, but now don’t seem so sure anymore. It’s a subtle way of letting you know that you’ve failed them – and it’s most likely to happen when your parent feels like they’re out of options for how to get through to you.
They’ve stopped asking about your future plans
Parents always want the best for their children and hope that they will succeed in life. With that said, if your parents don’t talk about anything related to your future with you or if they always talk negatively about your prospects and plans, it’s very likely that they’re not too happy with where things are going for you.
They complain about you to other family members
One sign that you’re disappointing your parents is that they are complaining about you to other family members. This is a pretty clear indication that they have lost hope in your ability to change and are looking to others for support and commiseration in their own frustration.
They never seem proud of you or your accomplishments
Parents may not always be able to express their emotions, but there are some signs that can indicate whether or not they’re proud of you. It’s important to note that these signs aren’t always the same for every family, however, if your parents never seem proud of you or your accomplishments, it’s probably time to sit down with them and have an honest conversation about what’s going on.
They don’t listen to you
If during conversations your parents start looking at their watch or fidgeting as soon as you get started, or they continuously cut you off midsentence, it could mean nothing. However, if it happens all the time, it could mean they’ve stopped caring about what you have to say because they’re disappointed in you.
They make attempts to control your life and choices
It can be difficult to understand why a parent would want to control you, but it often stems from a feeling of uncertainty about your future. The problem is that it can be hard to spot when this happens – parents can be subtle about their controlling nature, and if you’re used to deferring to them you might not see what’s happening until it’s too late.
They have unrealistically high expectations of you
When your parents set unrealistic expectations for you, it’s not necessarily a sign that they’re disappointed in you. It could be that they have high hopes because they want you to reach your potential and reach for the stars. However, if they’re constantly judging you by these standards, this can certainly send the message that they’ve lost faith in you.
They’re vocal about their achievements but not yours
When you’re a kid, your parents are your heroes, and you naturally love hearing about their accomplishments. As you grow up, however, you may start to notice that they seem much more interested in everyone else rather than you. Worst of all, they might spend an awful lot of time making sure everyone else knows about their achievements but fail to acknowledge yours.
They are unsupportive of your major life decisions
When your parents are unsupportive of a major life decision you’ve made, it can be a real blow to your self-confidence. Your mom and dad are supposed to be the ones in your corner cheering you on – or at least providing an objective eye when it’s needed. If they’re not doing that, it’s a sign of problems to come.
They exclude you at family gatherings
When you’re a kid, you want to be included in everything your family does. However, when you grow up and become an adult, things can change. You may find that your parents pulling away from you, distancing themselves from you, or making excuses not to include you in family gatherings. Maybe they don’t call often enough or visit as frequently as they used to.
They don’t invite you to places anymore
Parents are the first set of people who bring you into the world, and you start your life learning from them. If you’re lucky, that relationship lasts for a long time and evolves as you get older. With that said, if you ever find yourself on bad terms with your parents or they begin excluding you from important events in their lives, it can be hurtful.
You don’t feel comfortable talking to them about anything important
The types of conversations you have with your parents are an indication of the strength of your relationship with them. If you feel like you can’t talk freely to your family, it might be because you’re afraid that if you say something wrong, they will upset or criticize you. This can prevent you from speaking up about the really important things.
You feel like they’re never satisfied with anything you do
It can be maddening to feel like you’re trying as hard as you can to win your parents’ affection, only for the goalposts to keep moving constantly. If your parents have high expectations for you, and you don’t live up to those standards, they might respond by walling off their emotions and claiming that nothing you do is good enough.
They compare you to your siblings
It may be time to re-evaluate your relationship with your parents if they make excuses for their disappointment in you by saying how much they wish you were more like your siblings all the time. What you should pay attention to is whether this is a consistent and repetitive complaint, rather than just an off-the-cuff remark once every few months.
Your relationship with them has deteriorated
One sign your parents are disappointed in you is that the relationship has become strained between the two of you beyond easy chances of repair. The more stress there is, the less likely you are to be able to go home for holidays or even share jokes in the family group chat.
They seem sad when they talk about the choices you’ve made
If your parents seem sad when they talk about the choices you’ve made in life, it could be a sign that you’re disappointing them. It’s true that everyone goes through phases as they grow up, but if your parents are feeling particularly frustrated by the choices you’re making, it might be time to step back and re-evaluate what’s going on.
They don’t want to spend time with you
When a parent feels like a child has let them down, they might distance themselves from the child or simply not have as much interest in spending time together. A child can feel this change emotionally, but it might not be communicated verbally. If a parent is giving their child the silent treatment, it’s important for the child to know why that is.
They never call or text
Parents are often very busy with their own lives, but it is still a good idea to maintain communication with them. If you feel like the lines of communication are drying up, it could mean that your parents are disappointed in you. If you suspect this may be happening, ask yourself if something has happened to trigger this change in the relationship.
They don’t show up to your events
When you were growing up, your parents hopefully always attended your events, from grade plays to awards ceremonies to parent-teacher conferences, but what if in adulthood they’re totally absent? If your parents do not approve of your choices, they may not want to show up because it makes them upset to see you doing things that they disagree with.
They don’t offer you financial help
When you realize that your parents are not going to be there for you financially, it can feel like a deep betrayal. Even if you have made mistakes in life, there is no reason why your parents should not be able to help you out. The only valid reason for not being able to help is if they themselves are struggling financially and do not have the resources.
They criticize your partner
Parents can have a hard time accepting their children’s partners, even if those partners are good people. It might be because they think the person isn’t good enough for their child or because they simply don’t like them. Or it might even be because of disappointment or resentment.
You don’t share the same values they do
When a parent sees you living a life that is completely opposite to the values they taught you to live by, it can be hard to deny that there may be some disappointment in their eyes. When those values are not embodied in your daily life, they feel sad because of the efforts they put into raising you to have them.
They stop asking you about your life
If your parents were proud of the direction your life was taking, they’d want to hear all about it – the ups and downs, successes and failures, and everything else that comes with growing up and going through life. When they start avoiding any questions about your life, or worse yet, shutting down the conversation before it even starts, you know they are disappointed.
They don’t trust you
They don’t trust you to be on time, they don’t trust you to make good decisions, and they don’t trust you to keep promises. If the following rings true about your relationship with your parents, it might mean your parents don’t believe that you have the judgment or maturity to make solid choices.
They don’t listen to your suggestions
If your parents don’t listen to you and everything you say is received with a “Why are we even having this conversation?” or “We just don’t agree with that,” start asking yourself why. Is it because they don’t think you’re smart enough to contribute? Or maybe they’re afraid of your opinion? If so, what’s the worst thing that could happen if they listened to you?
You feel like they’re talking down to you all the time
It’s never a good feeling to have someone who brought you into this world treat you like a child, but it’s something that many people experience. When your parents disapprove of your decisions, or of the way you live your life, they can’t help but let it show, and that can be hurtful and demeaning.
They blame everything on you
If you find yourself being blamed by your parents for anything and everything, then maybe they feel disappointed with something you did or failed to do. Whether or not it’s for any decent reason, your parents being disappointed in one thing you’ve done can cause you to become a scapegoat for everything else.
