You’ve let hobbies fall by the wayside
In a healthy relationship, there is room for each person to have individual hobbies and interests that bring them joy, fulfilment and personal growth. If you find yourself abandoning your paintbrush, yoga mat or guitar in order to spend even more time with your other half, then that’s a sign either that you’ve begun to lose yourself or that your partner is actively limiting you.
You pretend to be less passionate about things
A good and supportive partner will encourage your passions and interests, even if they don’t align with their own. If you find yourself walking back once strong principles or pretending not to care as deeply about issues that are close to your heart, then that’s an indication that your partner is dulling your sparkle and shrinking you.
You don’t see your friends as often as you used to
While your romantic relationship should be important to you, it shouldn’t come at the cost of your existing platonic bonds. Even if your partner doesn’t actively encourage you to skip friend hangouts, if you struggle to find the time to see them or feel pressure to be available to your other half 24/7, you could be in a limiting dynamic.
You don’t talk about your achievements
No one likes a bragger, but there’s a difference between boasting and celebrating achievements you’ve worked hard for. Your partner should be there to cheer you on when you get a promotion or hit an educational milestone, and they should never make you feel embarrassed or cringey for wanting to expand your mind or better yourself.
You’re afraid to be vulnerable
Ugly, difficult or inconvenient emotions are a part of any healthy relationship, meaning that your partner should be able to share in your sorrows and anxieties as well as your triumphs and joys. Feeling like you can’t cry in front of your other half, or let them into the harder parts of your life, is a sign that they’re pushing you to be one-dimensional.
You suppress your work ambition
Even if your partner’s career goals and priorities don’t match your own, that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be supportive of your efforts. In a healthy partnership, your partner will respect and admire your drive, and you’ll feel confident in your ability to manage professional and romantic commitments. If your ambition is shrinking, it could be because your relationship is asking too much of you.
You feel jealous and possessive
As a general rule, the healthier your relationship is, the more secure you should feel in it. If your partner trusts you to be self-actualised and pursue outside friendships and interests, you should feel okay doing the same. Feeling clingy, suspicious or jealous is usually a consequence of an unstable relationship dynamic in which each party is trying to control the other.
You avoid deep and meaningful topics
Small talk definitely has its place, and no one can be in philosophy mode all the time. With that said, if you feel as though talks with your partner can’t get any deeper than your least favourite Love is Blind couple or what to make for dinner that night, you might have a problem. Topics like death, religion, politics and values should all be on the table.
You never make plans in advance
One of the most insidious signs that a relationship is limiting your potential is your approach to plans. If, since you’ve begun seeing your partner, you’ve stopped committing to activities and events more than a week away and are instead living life day by day, then that’s a sign that your relationship has shifted your perspective to be smaller scale and more insular.
You’re dishonest about your relationship priorities
Every relationship has its own ideal timeline and milestones, and these don’t need to line up with society’s expectations. However, if you don’t feel able to be open about your stance on kids, marriage, home ownership and shared financiers with your partner, it could be because your agency is being deprioritised or discounted altogether.
