You’re the one planning all the dates
Relationships won’t be 50/50 all the time but, outside of emergencies and big life changes, it shouldn’t fall to just one person to put in all the effort. If you can’t remember the last time your partner took the reins and planned a date without telling you, rather than you either doing it yourself or hinting to the point of nagging, it might be time to break up.
You don’t talk to your friends about them
Most people in happy and healthy relationships can’t help but gush to their friends about how much they love their partner every now and again. Even in long-term, comfortable relationships, your other half should come up in anecdotes about your life. If you’re either avoiding talking about your partner, or you have nothing to say about them at all, then that’s a bad sign.
You avoid arguments because there’s “no point”
If you and your partner are at each other’s throats 24/7, that’s a sign that something has gone terribly wrong, or that things were never healthy to begin with. With that said, never fighting at all, especially if it’s because you know the argument won’t lead to any conflict resolution or changed outcomes, is a sign that you’ve already mentally and emotionally checked out.
They’ve started to feel like a roommate
Most people in serious relationships will go through phases where their bond feels more platonic than romantic. Usually, it just means that more effort needs to be put into nurturing the spark. However, if your other half has felt like a roommate for a long time, and neither of you seems to want to change, then things might be coming to a close.
You can’t remember the last time they surprised you
Romantic gestures are crucial to the health of any relationship, but they don’t always have to be grand, sweeping and dramatic. If your partner isn’t in the habit of buying you flowers on a random rainy Wednesday, leaving your favourite chocolate on the counter for you or even doing your laundry without being asked, then it’s clear that they’re not prioritising the relationship.
You’re always alone in your dreams
Your dreams can tell you a lot about what’s actually going on in your subconscious mind, from your secret fears and hopes to the truths that you shove aside and ignore while you’re awake. If your sleeping mind always depicts you as alone and free, going on solo adventures and prioritising yourself, then that’s a sign you’re not being served by your relationship anymore.
You’ve stopped making plans more than a month away
In the early days of a relationship, it’s normal to hold off on making plans that are too far ahead, both in case things don’t work out and in an effort to not come on too strong. However, if you’ve been with your partner for a while and still avoid planning vacations for next year, then maybe your relationship isn’t as stable as you think.
You don’t want to put effort into your appearance
No one should feel pressure to dress up just for a partner, but many people enjoy the act of wearing special clothes or make-up for dates, in order to both feel fabulous and show their partner that they’re invested in the time spent together. If you no longer bother to get changed before dinner, it might be because your partner doesn’t feel worth the effort.
Your family never ask after them
If you’ve been with your other half for a while, and you and your family are on good terms, it’s only natural they should ask about each other when you hang out. If your partner never checks to see how your family is doing then that’s bad enough, but if your family don’t ask about your partner, it’s probably because they’re not right for you.
You’ve been told you’re a different person around them
In a healthy relationship, your partner should make you feel like being your best self: supported in your ambition, filled with kindness and good humour, and emotionally balanced and mature. If your friends comment on you changing and this is why, then that’s great. However, if you feel pressure to act differently from your true self with your other half, then that’s a bad omen.
You keep breaking up and getting back together
On-and-off-again relationships are the stuff of TV sitcoms but don’t think you’ll have that happy Ross and Rachel ending if you’ve been enjoying a turbulent relationship. Remember that if you’ve ended things, there’s always a reason for it – even if you end up getting drawn back together again. It might be time to end things for good.
You’re the only one making sacrifices
In relationships, compromise is important. Sometimes you have to sacrifice what’s important to you, like a weekly girl’s night for the sake of spending time with your partner. But if you’re the only one making sacrifices in your relationship then it’s a sign your partner doesn’t respect you enough to make the effort.
You watch ‘your show’ alone
Oftentimes when you’re in a domestic situation with a romantic partner, you’ll end up with routines and rituals that are important for maintaining your connection. Having a specific TV show you watch together (and only together) may be one of these things. The minute you find yourself catching up on episodes alone is a sign that those special shared things aren’t quite so important anymore.
You fight about the little things
If you find yourself fighting constantly about where to go for dinner, who was supposed to take the dog out, or where the TV remote has gone then perhaps it’s a sign that what was once an effortless connection has become a space for hostility and anger. Fighting about the big stuff shows you have passion and care, but the little things just expose bitterness.
Everything is a competition
Relationships are a partnership. You should be encouraging one another to succeed and getting excited about their accomplishments. As soon as it starts to feel like you’re competing then it’s time to step aside and consider why you’d like to win over your partner – whether it’s financial success, minor arguments or anything else.
You can’t look them in the eye for more than five seconds
The inability to maintain eye contact for more than five seconds is extremely revealing. Eye contact exposes vulnerability, builds connection, and allows you to reach a level of comfort with your spouse. Sadly if you’re unable to look them in the eye for more than five seconds, it could reveal a discomfort between you.
You feel frustrated when they’re around
You know those people whose pure presence is enough to cause you utter frustration; it doesn’t matter what they do or what they say, but it just feels like they’re always in the way? Your partner should not be one of those people. It’s normal to get frustrated every now and then by your partner but if it’s daily, there may be a problem.
You always feel in the wrong
Getting told nothing you do is right or that even when you’re telling facts, that they’re incorrect, doesn’t feel good. It can even progress to gaslighting when someone is constantly trying to convince you that you know nothing. So if your partner is the one putting you down and making you feel stupid then it’s time to reconsider the relationship.
You know they love you more
If you’re looking for a small sign that it’s time to end your relationship, there’s no clearer sign than knowing your partner definitively loves you more than you love them. It’s a harsh truth but once the relationship becomes one-sided or you know you’re not as invested as your spouse, it becomes an unfair situation.
You blame them for most things
Sometimes a little accountability is key to ensuring a healthy relationship and that means holding your partner accountable for the things they do wrong. But blaming them for everything that goes wrong will just grow resentment (from both of you) that will sour the relationship over time. It can lead you to forget to take responsibility for your own faults too.
You feel the relationship is going too fast
Whether you’re reeling from a recent engagement, or hyperventilating looking at their toothbrush on your bathroom sink, if you’re scared that the relationship is going way too fast, maybe it’s time to hit the brakes. Being scared about the pace of the relationship can expose that you’re actually worried about it progressing at all, because you’re not 100% invested in your partner.
You’re lacking the everyday touch
Family therapists have said we need eight hugs a day to survive, and 12 hugs a day for growth. The majority of those will probably come from our partners and our families, but if you’ve found that you and your spouse just don’t have that casual physical intimacy anymore, it’s time to consider why.
There’s an overall lack of intimacy
For the vast majority of people, intimacy is a key component of a healthy relationship. While the honeymoon period may end after the second or third year, completely lacking any component of bedroom fun in your relationship is a sign that perhaps you’ve lost the spark that brought you together in the first place.
You’re thinking about taking a break
Unless you’re Chrissy Teigen and John Legend who famously took a 30-minute break in their relationship before tying the knot, taking a break at all from your partner is a glaring sign that neither of you is as invested as you should be. Taking a break is very similar to an on and off again relationship, which we all know is a recipe for disaster.
You’re fantasizing about others
No one can control their dreams and sometimes we all have unexpected visitors to our daydreams. However, fantasizing about a life with someone else (whether they be celebrities or Paul from the grocery store) exposes a lack of commitment or enthusiasm about your current partner, which may be an indication that it’s time to end it.
You’re too clingy
Do you get stressed with your boyfriend goes on a guy’s night out? Do you want to do all your errands together? It might sound cute (like you’re just so in love you want to be together all the time) but that clinginess can be a sign that it’s time to take a step back. You may have trust issues or an insecure attachment.
You find your partner too needy
If you find your partner too needy, it could be they’re insecure about your relationship and are trying to cling to you, or it could be a sign that you’re just not that into them. Many of the same behaviors your spouse is exhibiting could be endearing under different circumstances; if you were more into them, that neediness wouldn’t be an issue.
You have different ideas about the future
Having different ideas about the future doesn’t have to be a massive difference in morals or ethics. It doesn’t even have to be constant fights over whether to have children or not. Loving the concept of being able to travel for a while before buying a house and being unable to compromise with your husband is a sign you shouldn’t ignore.
You’re irritated by the little things
Ending a relationship because you’re frustrated by the way your partner brushes their teeth or how they eat their steaks may seem silly. But it really isn’t an overreaction when the little things frustrate you. If the little things cause such a reaction, then maybe you don’t actually like your partner enough for the big things to make it worth it.
You’re nostalgic about the start of the relationship
The first few dates are always going to offer magical memories. The first time you heard them laugh or saw them cry, and the first time you kissed are all things to treasure forever. But if you’re constantly replaying these happy memories, and not continuing to make new ones, it’s time to leave the past and make new memories with someone else.
You’d rather hang out with anyone but them
Having other friends is an important part of maintaining a healthy relationship. Only wanting to hang out with those friends and not your partner, however, is a sign that your relationship is not very healthy. Either make time with your loved one to rekindle that joy or consider whether it’s worth being with them at all.
You’re scared to bring things up
Sharing the difficult things is an important part of any relationship. It bonds you two together and allows you to work through difficult emotions. Your partner should want to help you. But being scared to bring up even small things like a parking ticket with your partner is a gigantic sign that it’s time to end the relationship.
Your partner makes you feel stupid
More than just telling you that you’re always wrong, if your partner is actively making you feel stupid by putting you down or making little comments in front of your friends it’s a sign of behavior that might progress towards abuse, or merely showcase that your partner doesn’t actually like you or want you to succeed.
You don’t make time for one another
The modern world is full of all kinds of distractions. It’s hard to manage time effectively with work, and friends, relaxation, sleep, eating, hobbies, exercising, and more. But when you share your life with someone you should want to make time with them. If the idea of spending a Saturday night together is so unappealing then consider why you’re together at all.
Seeing them doesn’t excite you
Not every time you see your partner has to mirror the dramatic reunions you see on TikTok. But excitement upon seeing each other after a weekend away or even after a long day at work is a sign that you love each other and want to be together. Once that’s gone, what’s left? If seeing them doesn’t excite you, maybe it’s time to end it.
You keep thinking about potential
While you do grow together when you’re in a relationship, constantly imagining the potential in your partner will eventually cause resentment in who they currently are as a person. It’s like wishing your life away which will only cause your heartache down the line. Either love them for who they are or let them be that person with someone else.
You’re bored
Occasional boredom in life is normal and can actually be useful in pushing you to do more and improve your standing. Being bored constantly by your partner is a sign that they’re just not the person for you. There will be someone out there who will tell you about your day and you’ll actually be excited to hear it.
You don’t share things with each other
Whether it’s how your day went, what your plans are for the month, your worries about your mom’s health, or what your favorite snack is at the minute, sharing things with your partner is important in building a bond. The minute you just stop sharing things with one another can be a small sign that the relationship has already ended in your mind.
You refuse to be vulnerable
Vulnerability is scary, but it’s important. Emotional openness is key to healthy relationships, creates a closer bond, and shows that you’re willing to take a risk. Keeping your boundaries up is a small sign that it’s time to end the relationship. If you’re not willing to let your partner in then it’s time to shut that door for good.
You don’t know what your partner does for work
This is a small sign that it’s time to end your relationship which can be an indication of a huge problem. If you don’t know what your partner does for work, then perhaps that’s evidence that you don’t care or listen when they speak to you. Even if you don’t truly understand what their job entails, you should at least know their job title!
You don’t trust them anymore
It can be emotionally draining to constantly question the trustworthiness of your partner or to feel the need to go through their phone without permission. When your partner has lied or cheated in the past, it’s easy to develop a sense of distrust that can lead to the end of your relationship.
You’re insecure around them
Relationships should make you feel good, not bad. If you’re around your partner and you start to dislike yourself, it’s time to re-evaluate things. If you feel like your partner brings out the worst in you, it’s a good idea to reflect on whether or not your relationship is actually healthy.
You’re always fighting
Disagreements are normal and natural in any relationship. But if your disagreements turn into constant arguments, it can harm your emotional well-being. If you find yourself arguing with your significant other on a regular basis, it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship.
They’re unaffectionate
When you are in a healthy, happy relationship, communication is important. When you can’t communicate, you may feel lonely and upset. If you feel the need for more affection than your partner provides, or if you find yourself wishing that your relationship was different, it may be time to re-evaluate things.
You’re turning to others for support
When you get a promotion or have a personal emergency, you should turn to your partner first. If you turn to a colleague or friend for support more than your partner, it could be a sign of trouble in your relationship. If you find yourself choosing someone other than your partner for emotional support, or if they choose someone other than you, that’s a bad sign.
Your friends and family have never supported the relationship
If the people in your life who love and support you don’t approve of the person you’re dating, trust their judgment. If you shut out your friends and family, they may be right in telling you that the relationship is not healthy. You might also start to lie to yourself about how happy you are with your partner to prove them wrong.
You’re no longer attracted to them
If you no longer feel romantic feelings toward your partner and other factors are involved, such as lack of intimacy, then this may answer the question of when it’s time to break up. If you regularly fantasize about someone else while in bed with your partner, it may be time to end the relationship.
They never make an effort with your friends and family
Have you ever felt reluctant to invite your partner along to social gatherings? Does it sometimes seem like your significant other is less than excited about attending family functions? They don’t have to be besties with your besties, but your partner should be willing to accompany you to family functions and friends’ birthdays without a fuss, and you should do the same for them.
You’ve never met their friends and family
If you’ve been dating for almost a year, and your partner still hasn’t introduced you to their parents or friends, maybe it’s time for a change. If you are dating someone, they should be proud to introduce you to others and treat you like an important part of their life. If they keep you a secret, it may mean that they do not value or respect your relationship.
You’re scared of being alone
Studies have shown that the fear of being single can prevent people from leaving bad relationships and can cause them psychological harm. It might seem like being coupled up will make you happier, but studies show that single people often lead more fulfilling lives than married folks. In fact, many people find it freeing to break up with their partners.
You have different communication styles
One of the most common reasons for a breakup is that people simply don’t communicate well with each other. Sometimes, this is because you and your partner just aren’t compatible in the way you like to solve problems or talk about issues. If you feel happier talking to someone else about issues in your relationship, then it’s time to think about ending it.
Your career is more important
In some cases, a great job opportunity may mean moving to a new location. If this happens and your partner is unwilling to move with you, then you may decide that your dream job is worth more to you than staying in your current relationship.
You don’t care anymore
Many people believe that the opposite of love is hate. However, in a relationship, the opposite of love is actually indifference. If you’ve been dating your partner for several years and you no longer feel any strong emotions for them, then it might be time to end things.
You prefer alone time
While it’s normal for couples to have their own interests and space, if you never miss your partner even after spending significant time apart, then it may be time to call it quits. You don’t have to spend all your time with your partner, but if you no longer enjoy being around them, it might be time to re-evaluate.
You don’t miss them
When you feel like you’re missing someone and want to be around them, it’s a sign that you still love them. If your thoughts only focus on the negative aspects of your partner, however, then it’s likely that your feelings have changed and what was once love has become something else.
They don’t prioritize you
When you feel neglected and not cared for in a relationship, it’s time to re-assess whether this person is really the one for you. If your partner consistently fails to respond to your needs and desires, even after you’ve expressed them clearly, it’s fair to say they don’t value the relationship. Relationships can only thrive when both partners are willing and able to invest in them.
You’re irritated and short-tempered around them
It’s normal to get irritated with your partner, especially if you’re having a bad day. But if their regular habits and quirks are suddenly making you feel like screaming, then you probably need to sit down and talk honestly about your feelings. If they make you feel angry, irritated, or upset often – even when everything is going well – that’s an issue.
You stay at work longer than usual
Love is a feeling of affection and desire for someone or something. When you are in love, you should always want to see your partner or spend time together. If you don’t feel any urgency to get home after a long day at work, ask yourself why.
They’re not interested in your life
If your partner seems disinterested in spending time with your friends or family, it could mean they’re not that interested in spending time with you, either. A partner should be supportive of your interests, even if they don’t share them. It’s a red flag if you feel like you’re always begging them to get involved.
You feel isolated
Your partner should be an important part of your life, but they shouldn’t be the only person you spend time with. It’s important to make time for friends and family too. If you feel like you’re being isolated from the people who care about you, it could be a sign that you are in an unhealthy relationship.
You’ve started saying ‘I’ instead of ‘we’
When you start dating someone new and start speaking in terms of “we,” it shows that you and your partner see themselves as part of the same team, working toward common goals. If you or your partner has said “we” but has suddenly stopped, it may be an indication that the person who used the word is having second thoughts about it.
They refuse to talk about their past
Sharing personal information can bring people close together, so if your partner avoids your questions about their past or future plans with you, it could be because they see the relationship as more casual than you do. It’s possible that they simply aren’t ready for a serious relationship. But if you are, it’s better to learn this early on.
You make big decisions alone
When someone sees you as their partner for life, they want to consult with you before making major decisions. It’s not about getting approval; it’s a sign of respect and trust. But keeping a major life decision from your partner could mean they are not as important to you as they think.
They’re being unusually attentive
If your partner starts paying more attention to you, complimenting you more, or buying you gifts out of the blue, they may be feeling guilty about something and trying to make up for it. The occasional kind act is nothing to worry about. If a person’s other actions also suggest they’re being deceitful, however, it might be time to ask some questions.
You’re dressing differently
If you find yourself wearing clothing and donning hairdos that you know your partner likes, but that don’t feel right for you, it might be time to re-evaluate the relationship. When you’re in a relationship, it’s important to be aware of whether you’re giving more than you’re getting – and if so, why.
Their body language is more closed off
When your partner is acting out of the ordinary, it could be due to stress or other external factors. But if you notice consistent differences in their behavior, it may indicate that they’re not happy with your relationship. Eye rolls and lack of eye contact can be signs of trouble. If your partner is doing these things more than usual, ask them if something is wrong.
They are your only support
If your partner has no one else to talk to but you, that can be a sign of an unhealthy relationship. You should also have other people in your life whom you can rely on for support and advice. If you find yourself relying on your partner for everything and isolating yourself from your friends, it might be a sign that you are codependent.
There’s no effort to make up after fights
Arguments in a relationship are normal and to be expected. However, if your partner has no interest in making up after a fight, this is a sign that things might be headed for trouble. If your partner is not willing to work on problems, it may mean that they feel that the relationship is not worth salvaging.
You no longer text or call
Early in any relationship, it’s normal to spend a lot of time talking and texting. But if your partner wants less contact with you and leaves your texts and calls unanswered, it may mean that they are interested in someone else. That likely means you will soon be parting ways.
You disagree on counselling
When only one partner is willing to seek counselling, it can be difficult for a couple to get past their differences. If only one person is motivated to make changes and the other refuses to get on board or put in the effort, it’s hard for the couple to move forward and will likely result in a breakup.
