Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars
Peppy, high-energy songs whose only function is to make you want to smile and dance will always have a place on the pop charts. With that said, the line between fun and motivational and so annoying they’ll make you break down screaming in the yoghurt aisle if you hear it while grocery shopping is very thin. Uptown Funk is definitely on the wrong side of that line.
Wonderwall by Oasis
A mainstay of classic rock radio stations and the best friend of every acoustic guitar-wielding indie boy at the house party: Wonderwall is a song with true pedigree. What everyone forgets though, is that compared to any other song on (What’s the Story) Morning Glory?, Wonderwall is pretty tepid, drab and uninspired. Take this weedy plea off your playlists and rock Some Might Say instead.
Sex on Fire by Kings of Leon
Another song that infiltrated the radio waves and massively outstayed its welcome, Sex on Fire will almost certainly go down as Kings of Leon’s biggest record. Which is a shame, for them and everyone who had to listen to the unbearably plaintive chorus over and over again.
Ho Hey by The Lumineers
Despite Ho Hey being an incredibly catchy song, it’s received a lot of criticism over the years, and for fair reason. The song has lyrical inconsistencies, the content of the lyrics doesn’t match the vibe of the song, it sounds incredibly similar to other popular folk songs, it’s mediocre – and, frankly, it’s not even the best The Lumineers song.
We Are Young by Fun.
Another indie folk/pop song from the early 2010s with very questionable lyrics, We Are Young by Fun. becomes sincerely uncomfortable when you can comprehend what Nate Ruess is actually singing. This bop features lyrics about domestic abuse, will not commit to a sense of rhythm, and Jack Antonoff’s false climaxes are frustrating.
Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice
Yes, it’s a classic, and yes, it’s impossible not to sing along to, but is that enough to save Ice Ice Baby from being one of the worst pop records of all time? Absolutely not. The fact that Vanilla Ice drops bars like “I’m killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom” over a sample taken from Under Pressure – a classic record penned by Queen and David Bowie – feels vaguely sacrilegious.
7 Years by Lukas Graham
7 Years by Lukas Graham is utterly predictable in nearly every way. The lyrics about aging are paint-by-number, and while emotionally touching for some, appear so cliche to others. The progression of the song is predictable and basic, but what’s really bad is the melodramatic oversung vocals of the band’s singer.
Moves Like Jagger by Maroon Five
Outside of a catchy whistled melody there is literally nothing appealing about this record, with its boring EDM backing and uninspired lyrics. Also, while Mick Jagger is famous for dancing wildly on his stage, his moves are absolutely terrible. Seriously, go and look it up on YouTube. It works for him, but claiming to have “moves like Jagger” is a pretty bizarre flex.
(Everything I Do) I Do It for You by Bryan Adams
The 1990s was the era of the power ballad, so it’s no surprise that Bryan Adam’s single, written for Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, became a hit. (Everything I Do) I Do It For You is melodramatic, the lyrics appear creepy, and the song in itself is hard to distinguish from a parody of love ballads. The full version is overindulgent at over six minutes long too!
Harlem Shake by Baauer
In fairness to Baauer, he probably didn’t expect Harlem Shake to blow up. If he had, he’d probably have bothered to get the sample cleared and saved himself a costly lawsuit. As it was, the track went viral, and not only did everyone have to endure listening to it over and over again, they also had to contend with social media feeds filled with progressively less inspired dance videos.
My Humps by Black Eyed Peas
“My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps” might be the single most unsexy line ever committed to song. Why exactly Black Eyed Peas thought a word most commonly associated with camels would make for a sensual euphemism for the female anatomy is a mystery, but it’s almost impossible to listen to without wincing.
Rockstar by Nickelback
Never mind the fact that Rockstar became inescapably popular, with radio stations seemingly playing it at least once an hour for months on end. What makes the record so maddening is it’s basically Nickelback bragging about all the amazing things they have on account of being rock stars.
Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance
The song is so legendary that just hearing a single G-note is enough to make anyone with black box dye in their hair cry on their morning commute: there’s no overstating Welcome to the Black Parade’s anthem status. Yet put it next to any other My Chemical Romance song and it feels plodding, sanitized and, worst of all, mainstream. Skip it and play Famous Last Words instead.
Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey
Anyone who earnestly loves Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey is either wedded to their local oldies radio station or has never gotten over their Glee phase. Either way, it’s time to leave this soft-core arena prog rock in the past. If you want a song about struggling young lovers that packs an actual punch, opt for Don’t You Want Me or Livin’ on a Prayer.
My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion
Celine Dion’s Earth-shaking vocals cannot be doubted, and her star power isn’t at all in question. With that said, is My Heart Will Go On actually an anthem for the ages, or is it just associated with one of the most beloved movies of all time? Get rid of the Titanic association and what are you left with? A pretty syrupy and overused sentiment.
Every Breath You Take by The Police
This one is just creepy beyond words, and the only fun thing about it is the fact it’s lent some extra ironic flavour because it’s sung by a band called The Police. The proliferation of this stalker-core ballad at weddings and birthdays is ceaseless, and can only be put down to Sting’s velvety-smooth voice tricking people into ignoring the lyrics. Yikes.
Shape of You by Ed Sheeran
Ed Sheeran is like Marmite. You either love him or hate him. But the British singer-songwriter’s massive 2017 hit Shape of You is maybe one of the worst songs he’s put out in his illustrious career. It won the Grammy award for best pop solo performance but many of the general public find it annoying, especially with how overplayed it’s become.
All About That Bass by Megan Trainor
Megan Trainor went viral with All About That Bass. It’s a song about celebrating who you are and promoting body positivity. But the lyrics are repetitive and Trainor’s vocals are flat, despite her impressive range in other songs like Good Mornin’ where she’s able to show off her soulful voice. It’s a shame this is the song of hers that hit the charts.
Blurred Lines by Robin Thicke ft. T.I, Pharell
The main thing that makes Robin Thicke’s 2013 RnB/pop hit Blurred Lines so awful is the lyrics. The lyrics to this song border on reinforcing rape culture and trivializing sexual violence: “I know you want it”, “can’t let it get past me”, “I’m a nice guy but don’t get it confused”, and of course “I hate these blurred lines” have caused much debate over the years.
Hey Jude by The Beatles
Criticising The Beatles is a very controversial move. They changed music forever and created celebrity culture as we know it today. But despite their prestige, not every song they released is as good as its popularity may make it seem. Hey Jude is boring. Many critics feel it’s only as beloved as it is due to nostalgia and The Beatles name attached to it.
Happy by Pharrell Williams
This tune became the most-played track of the century when it was released in 2014 but despite its popularity, not everyone is a fan. The song Happy by Pharrell Williams is catchy (as you’d expect from such an accomplished producer) but the lyrics and tune are very basic and the repetition is annoying – especially with how overplayed the song is.
Despacito by Luis Fonsi ft. Danny Yankee, Justin Bieber
This is one song so awful it actually became a meme. Despacito has been voted the worst song of all time in many Internet polls. The composition of the song is fairly simple, with a reggaeton vibe but because of the novelty of Latin pop in the US, Europe, and other English-speaking countries, Despactito blew up – especially when JB jumped on the track.
There’s Nothing Holding Me Back by Shawn Mendes
Shawn Mendes has never been hailed as a revolutionary musical artist. His music is very basic pop, created to make the charts and get radio plays. There’s Nothing Holding Me Back is a very hollow and empty representation of this. It builds up the chorus and goes nowhere with that energy, making it seem like Mendes is wasting potential.
Red Solo Cup by Toby Keith
Toby Keith released Red Solo Cup as a joke, and he has repeatedly stated that it is “the stupidest song I ever heard in my life”. Unfortunately, the fact that the song was intended as parody soared straight over everyone’s heads, and the record became a drinking anthem across the USA.
Crank Dat by Souljaboy
Any song that comes with its own dance is going to be irritating right out the gate, especially when that dance revolves around a bizarrely specific sex act. While the song’s impact can’t be denied, with some critics claiming it led to ‘the biggest dance fad since the Macarena’, that doesn’t change the fact that its lyrics are plainly terrible.
Work by Rihanna ft. Drake
Rihanna is one of pop’s true powerhouse vocalists, and Drake has been delivering understated earworms for years, so any collaboration between them should logically result in pure gold, right? Wrong. Work’s one-word, brain-burrowing chorus is both so bland that there is nothing to say about it and so vocally abrasive that it’s impossible to forget. Essentially, it’s the very worst of both artists.
Macarena by Los del Río
Yes, Macarena is an obnoxious novelty song with an inescapable, goofy dance trend that went viral before YouTube was even a thing. What’s worse, however, are its lyrics and messaging. Not only does the singer gleefully recount her choice to cheat on her boyfriend with multiple men, but it’s also implied that her original squeeze is absent because he’s been drafted into the army! Ghoulish.
Easy On Me by Adele
Adele is an icon, it’s undisputed. But when you take away the poignant meaning behind the lyrics of Easy On Me, the song is boring and even verging on whiny. The awkward descent of the musical notes in the word ‘easy’ is too noticeable and makes it very hard for anyone who is not a hard fan to go easy on her for this song.
I Gotta Feeling by Black Eyed Peas
Despite taking the number-one spot on the charts in 2009, a deeper look into the song I Gotta Feeling by Black Eyed Peas reveals why it’s awful. The group took one simple statement and repeated it over and over to the point of absurdity. Even the composition is flawed, with an unorthodox song structure and a heavily contrasting melody.
Anaconda by Nicki Minaj
Nicki Minaj can write with the best of them. Case in point is the rapper’s verse on Kanye West’s record Monster, in which Minaj not only goes toe-to-toe with Kanye and Jay-Z, she blows them out of the water. This makes it all the more disappointing that Minaj thought “my anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, hun” was a good enough bar to to carry a track.
Whip My Hair by Willow Smith
Willow Smith might have grown into a genuinely talented artist in her own right, but it’s hard not to feel like Whip My Hair only got released because of who her father is. Also, the fact that Smith was ten when she recorded the song just feels uncomfortably inappropriate, and the music video did absolutely nothing to help.
The Fox by Ylvis
Yes, Ylvis made The Fox to parody the state of pop music and yes, the fact that people kind of took it seriously heightens its satirical impact. But that does nothing, we repeat, nothing, to detract from the fact that everyone had to endure this song getting played at literally every party, with the drunkest revellers always trying to copy the increasingly ridiculous sounds.
Call Me Maybe by Carly Rae Jepsen
If the purpose of pop music is to be catchy, then Call Me Maybe undeniably fulfils its purpose. Unfortunately, the record is a victim of its own success, because it’s so unbearably catchy that even reading the song’s title is enough to make the melody take up residence inside your head and refuse to leave for days. How can you not hate a song like that?
Who Let the Dogs Out by Baha Men
The chorus of Baha Men’s Who Let the Dogs Out is undeniably iconic, making it one of the most recognisable songs in the world. However, the abrupt transition from the hard, angry hip-hop choruses to the tropical pool party verses is completely jarring, and the tonal whiplash ruins what could have been a great record.
Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO
LMFAO made a name for themselves with a slew of house-infused pop records that were silly and catchy in equal measure. While it might be their biggest record, Party Rock Anthem lacks the tongue-in-cheek humour of tracks like Sexy and I Know It, becoming just another uninspired, synth-driven ode to raving.
I Don’t Care (I Love It) by Icona Pop
Icana Pop apparently can only think about one thing deserving of her apathy: crashing her car into a bridge. While this definitely seems like the kind of thing you should care about, Icona insists she doesn’t, although the song’s maddening degree of repetitiveness makes it begin to feel like she’s trying to convince herself more than anyone else.
Timber by Pitbull ft. Ke$ha
Pitbull’s music career seems to rely more on charisma than talent, but at least some of his tunes are halfway decent party anthems. The same cannot be said for Timber. Set over a bizarre instrumental that blends country and house, the song has few saving graces, and Pitbull’s trademark yowl has never sounded quite so cringey.
Havana by Camila Cabello ft. Young Thug
Plenty of pop songs are cotton candy rather than steak, and that’s all well and good, but Havana somehow manages to be even more insubstantial than most. Even after listening to this song a hundred times in a hundred different H&M changing rooms, it’s still hard to say what exactly this song is about, and it leaves you with nothing but its maddening one-work hook.
Crazy Frog by Axel F
The worldwide success of Crazy Frog must have been almost unbearably depressing for every musician trying to make actual music. Then again, the fact that a cover version of the Beverly Hills Cop theme tune overlaid with a guy trying to imitate a two-stroke engine went to number one in multiple countries should make everyone depressed.
Drive By by Train
You could list most aspects of the Train song Drive By to explain why it’s so awful but focusing on the lyrics and the vocals should be enough to convince most people. Despite performing lead vocals in the band since 1994, Pat Monohan does a poor job on Drive By and it’s only the upbeat nature of the song that manages to carry it.
Girls Like You by Maroon Five ft. Cardi B
Maroon Five may be a meme now or your dad’s favorite band, but in the past they released some songs to much acclaim. She Will Be Loved is iconic, which makes Girls Like You even more painful to listen to. The song is bland and lazy, and the contrast of Cardi B against the radio fluff of Girl Like You still isn’t enough to save it.
A Sky Full of Stars by Coldplay
If you’re looking for a song that evokes no emotions or inspiration and manages to bore the listener into turning it off before it finishes then you need to listen to A Sky Full of Stars by Coldplay. While it’s a diversion from Coldplay’s usual alternative pop rock. the EDM track falls flat, building no excitement, pace, or reaching any crescendo.
FourFiveSeconds by Rihanna, Kanye West, and Paul McCartney
With three of music’s biggest stars on this track, FourFiveSeconds should have made history. Praised for its minimal instruments and stripped-back quality, the folk-pop song is at its core, very safe. The bridge is awkward, Kanye’s autotune is noticeable, and the song itself is just very monotonous, despite reaching number four on the charts.
Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men
The early 2010s were really the height of indie pop/folk music with bands like The Lumineers and Of Monsters and Men gaining popularity. But despite how popular Little Talks was there’s no denying that the twee phenomenon has come and gone and the song is dated, with the vocals sounding forced and an early indication of the italicized singing to come.
Airplanes by B.o.B ft. Hayley Williams
People of a certain age are guaranteed to still remember every lyric of Airplanes if it came on in the dingy bar where they were spending their Friday night. Which is exactly the issue with the song. B.o.B’s rapping is nothing special and even with the powerhouse of Hayley Williams’ voice on the track, it’s been relegated to a nostalgic blast from the past.
Freaky Friday by Lil Dicky and Chris Brown
Chris Brown’s reputation has definitely dipped due to his criminal actions in the last decade, so it was surprising when Freaky Friday was such a smash hit. Especially as the song is actually really, really bad. It’s essentially a crude, tasteless joke stretched out for the 3:36 length of the song with no memorable rapping, singing, or talent of any kind.
Thunder by Imagine Dragons
Imagine Dragons are like musical porridge. They have some substance and a mainly middle-aged fanbase but remain largely bland. Thunder completely lacks energy or fun. Despite being nominated for a Grammy award, general consensus is that the song is super repetitive and lead singer Dan Reynold’s rising intonation is consistently frustrating.
Somebody Else by The 1975
One of the biggest bands of the last decade, The 1975 continues to release beloved singles. Somebody Else, released in 2017, tackles the issue of a former lover beginning a relationship with someone new. But despite the intriguing premise the beat seems lazy, Matty Healy’s voice isn’t shown off to its full potential, and the song just feels extremely boring.
Me! by Taylor Swift ft. Brendon Urie
Chart-topping superstar Taylor Swift divides music fans with every single but even her own fans were split on the song Me! The lyrics are extremely cringe-inducing including one line that was removed from the track after its release (“Spelling is fun!”) and Brendon Urie’s voice is so inauthentic and influenced by musical theatre that it feels cheesy.
Bitch I’m Madonna by Madonna ft. Nicki Minaj
You cannot deny the icon status of pop star Madonna. She’s been creating hit singles for the last four decades, which is an impressive feat. But her venture into EDM collaborating with rapper Nicki Minaj was just not great. The unusual composition, the elements that didn’t fit, and the purposefully provocative lyrics intended to shock just feel sad and uncomfortable.
God’s Plan by Drake
God’s Plan by Drake is just a lackluster song. The video concept was wonderfully giving and the song has done extremely well in streaming and in the charts, even breaking Apple’s first-day streaming record. But that doesn’t change the fact the beat is uncreative, Drake sounds bored, the lyrics are confusing, and it’s just not good.
Closer by The Chainsmokers ft Halsey
Even at the time of its release, Closer was a super popular song that was also acknowledged for being terrible. Andrew Taggart’s vocals are far from impressive (especially when compared to Halsey’s voice), but besides that, the song is just incredibly generic to the point of being boring. Perhaps the duo should have stuck to comedy hits like #SELFIE.
High Hopes by Panic! At the Disco
As far as pop songs go, High Hopes isn’t that offensive; it’s got an upbeat chorus that isn’t overly saccharine and Brendan Urie’s vocals are pretty faultless. Unfortunately, it’s also the song that represents the death knell for Panic! At the Disco as the dark cabaret pop-punk emo band of their glory days. Compared to that, High Hopes is the sound of a cheesy, hollow lounge act.
Yummy by Justin Bieber
Even if you’re not a fan of the former teen heartthrob, it’s hard to deny that Justin Beiber has had a major influence on the pop genre over the last two decades. But when he dropped Yummy in 2020, many were calling it the worst release of the entire year. The lyrics are repetitive and childish, and the song never progresses past its yawn-inducing beginning.
Karma by Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift is a powerhouse of the music industry but that doesn’t mean every track she drops is deserving of the major hype and praise it receives. Karma hit number two on the Billboard charts in June 2023 despite its confusing and basic lyrics like “Karma is a cat purring in my lap because it loves me”, and overall feels lackluster.
Panini by Lil Nas X
Following up on a smash hit like Old Town Road is always going to be extremely hard. But rapper Lil Nas X’s second single Panini felt very much like a paint-by-the-numbers rap song. More than just paling in comparison though, Panini’s largest draw is that it’s catchy but it’s designed almost for TikTok hype, and the entirety of the song fails to wow.
Bodak Yellow by Cardi B
There’s no denying that Cardi B has cemented herself as one of the top women in the rap game right now but her breakout hit Bodak Yellow is just not a good song. The flow is underwhelming and becomes boring and stale as the song goes on. The rhymes are unimpressive and overall the finished product seems unprofessional and amateur.
Berzerk by Eminem
Eminem is one of the most accomplished and pioneering musicians in the history of hip-hop, possessing arguably unrivalled lyrical ability. Unfortunately, this makes it all the more apparent when he does occasionally drop the ball. Berzerk is conspicuously devoid of Eminem’s trademark wordplay and intricate rhyme schemes, and the amount of distortion on his vocals makes it hard to even hear what he’s rapping half the time.
Wiggle by Jason Derulo ft. Snoop Dogg
Wiggle’s hook is a minimal pop masterpiece, with its catchy whistled melody set over booming 808s and reverbed finger snaps. Unfortunately, the song literally begins with the line “you know what do to with that big fat butt”, and frankly there’s no coming back from that. Jason Derulo also somehow immediately makes things worse by opening his verse with “patty cake, patty cake”, and even Snoop can’t save proceedings.
Marvin Gaye by Charlie Puth ft. Meghan Trainor
Marvin Gaye is one of the most beloved soul singers of all time, and his murder at the hands of his own father remains one of the most tragic events in the history of music. Given this, one might conclude that using Gaye’s name as a euphemism for sex in a cheesy pop song is wildly distasteful. Unfortunately, this isn’t a conclusion that was reached by Charlie Puth and Meghan Trainor.
Treat You Better by Shawn Mendes
The anthem of every creepy, friend-zoned “nice guy,” Shawn Mendes’ Treat You Better reeks of desperation and self-pity. Perhaps aware of this, Mendes chose to make the music video about domestic violence. This did not help one bit, making it seem like Mendes is more upset about his own unrequited feelings than the fact that his love-interest is literally being abused.
Hello Kitty by Avril Lavigne
Avril Lavigne is responsible for some of the most memorable pop rock records of the 2000s, which makes Hello Kitty all the more baffling. The track opens with Lavigne shouting a few words in Japanese before dropping straight into a techno beat, and things only get weirder. While the song was popular, the singer was criticised both for coming off as vaguely racist and for unashamedly jumping on the EDM bandwagon.
Mask Off by Future
The loop that Future flipped into the instrumental for Mask Off is taken from Prison Song by Carlton Williams, a record paying tribute to Martin Luther King. While Future could have taken the opportunity to craft some equally impactful lyrics, he instead spends the whole song rapping about mixing stimulants with downers, sleeping with women and driving expensive cars.
Scream and Shout by Will.I.Am ft. Britney Spears
Britney Spears’ self-assured swag almost saves Scream and Shout, but ultimately Will.I.Am’s bland, unimaginative lyrics are beyond redemption. Easily the most annoying part of the song is Will.I.Am’s line “we sayin’ oh-wee-oh-wee-oh-wee-oh”. No one is saying that, no one else will ever say that, write some real lyrics and try again.
Starstrukk by 3OH!3 ft. Katy Perry
Starstrukk’s chorus is actually pretty decent (until the completely unnecessary dubstep synth comes in to try and win over some EDM fans), but that doesn’t change the fact that you can’t just use a whistle sound every time you can’t think of words that rhyme in your verses. This lack of lyrical ability is probably the reason 3OH!3 never managed to keep their spot in the limelight.
Rico Suave by Gerardo
The success of Gerardo proves that Jimmy Iovine is a marketing genius, because Rico Suave – the track that blew up on Iovine’s label Interscope – is objectively terrible. The instrumental sounds like it was made by somehow who’s just started music lessons, and Gerardo’s flow is comically bad, with the rapper emphasising words in the most jarring way possible.
Behind Blue Eyes by Limp Bizkit
Limp Bizkit are primarily known for their raucous rap-rock bangers, so they should perhaps be applauded for trying something radically different with their cover of The Who’s Behind Blue Eyes. Unfortunately, the band couldn’t resist sneaking in a repetitive spoken word section that states “L-I-M-P discover”, with the attempt at self-promotion clashing horribly with the song’s overall vibe.
Downtown by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis
The problem with Downtown is that it just can’t figure out what it wants to be. The Stranger’s Larry Mizell Jr. described the track as a record ‘with too many tabs open’, which is a good description, as is “complete unhinged fever dream.” Ultimately, the track lacks the goofy catchiness of records like Thrift Shop, and it doesn’t compensate with anything noteworthy.
Dark Fantasy by Kanye West
Kanye West is undoubtedly one of the most talented producers in the hiphop scene, but his rap ability has never quite matched his skill behind the boards. His singing is even worse, as revealed by Dark Fantasy, the opening track of My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. While the record has some interesting moments, none of them can overcome the horror of West’s tone-deaf crooning.
