Jaws: The Revenge
Everyone agrees 1975’s Jaws is a masterpiece. No one in their right mind would claim this about 1987’s Jaws: The Revenge. The third sequel to the iconic shark thriller starts with a ludicrous premise – a shark with a vendetta follows the Brody family to the Bahamas – and only strays further from real-world logic as it goes on, winding up a fever dream of badness.
Grease 2
1978’s Grease is one of the most successful big screen musicals ever. The producers hoped to capture lightning in a bottle a second time – but instead, they wound up with Grease 2. Best remembered for giving Michelle Pfeiffer her first major leading role, the 1982 flop enjoys a degree of cult status today, but most feel it’s a pale imitation of its predecessor.
Speed 2: Cruise Control
The writing was on the wall for the Speed sequel when Keanu Reeves dropped out to go on tour with his all-but forgotten band. Where Jan de Bont’s 1994 original is one of the most adrenaline-pumping action movies ever, 1997’s Speed 2: Cruise Control (moving the action from an inner city bus to a slow-moving cruise ship) was woefully misconceived and terribly executed.
Exorcist II: The Heretic
How do you follow a hit like The Exorcist? Hopefully, not like this. Director John Boorman brought a wildly different approach to the subject matter with 1977’s Exorcist II: The Heretic, in which Richard Burton’s priest meets Linda Blair’s Regan in the hopes of understanding her possession. The film was blasted as a nonsensical mess, with some critics declaring it the worst film ever made.
Highlander II: The Quickening
1986’s Highlander hinges on the fact that Christopher Lambert’s MacLeod has no idea why he’s immortal. Subsequently, 1991’s Highlander 2: The Quickening loses all credibility when it declares MacLeod’s an alien and acts like we’d known this all along. This is just the tip of iceberg for a sequel which is so dumb, we don’t even flinch when Sean Connery’s very dead character inexplicably returns.
An American Werewolf in Paris
1981’s An American Werewolf in London is a landmark horror-comedy with groundbreaking practical makeup effects. 1997’s An American Werewolf in Paris, however, isn’t funny or scary, and brings its monsters to life via CGI that looked terrible even back then. Small wonder that while the original is still considered a classic, the sequel (with which it shares nothing but the concept) is all but forgotten.
Butch and Sundance: The Early Days
Paul Newman and Robert Redford famously go out in a blaze of glory in 1969 western Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, so the only place a follow-up film could go was back. Alas, 1979’s Butch and Sundance: The Early Days (starring Tom Berenger and William Katt in the title roles) only proves we weren’t missing anything but not knowing how the duo got started.
RoboCop 3
After two ultra-violent, foul-mouthed RoboCop movies, studio Orion decided to tone things down for a PG-13 rating on the third film. As if this wasn’t bad enough, they also gave director Fred Dekker a budget that wasn’t nearly big enough to realise his vision. Is it any wonder that 1993’s RoboCop 3 wound up a goofy, half-baked mess that killed the franchise?
The Hangover Part II
Sure, we expect sequels to give us a bit more of the same, but not the exact same movie all over again. 2011’s The Hangover Part II is almost nothing more than a beat-for-beat retread of the 2009 original, only with the action moved from Las Vegas to Thailand. Just goes to show a joke is never as funny the second time you hear it.
X-Men: The Last Stand
The first two X-Men movies were vital to popularizing comic book movies, yet 2006’s X-Men: The Last Stand is so bad it’s like they were deliberately trying to derail the franchise. Bulging with weird tonal shifts, illogical character developments and pointless deaths, the third X-Men movie prompted such hate that 2014’s time-hopping X-Men: Days of Future Past officially deleted it from the canon.
Staying Alive
In this sequel to the insanely-popular Saturday Night Fever, John Travolta returns as ex-disco king Tony Manero, now living in Manhattan having left his beloved Brooklyn. Set five years after the original, Staying Alive is doing just that. Manero’s attempts to cut his teeth on Broadway lack any of the zing of Saturday Night Fever.
Return to the Blue Lagoon
Return to the Blue Lagoon is a pointless sequel to the 1980s classic starring Brooke Shields and Christopher Atkins. Not even the up-and-coming Milla Jovovich can kick this thing into gear. The plot, flat as a pancake, doesn’t present anything new. Two children are stranded on a South Pacific island and, truthfully, you don’t hope to see them leave.
The Matrix Reloaded
The Matrix was one of the most original and action-packed films of the 1990s. The Matrix Reloaded was just action-packed (save for that agonising scene with a weirdly grumpy Architect). This film stamps on everything that made the original so exciting to such a degree that you find yourself rooting for the machines.
Queen of the Damned
This sequel centres on the vampire Akasha (played by Aaliyah) in a more modern setting and is completely lacking in originality or atmosphere. It also failed to fill the void left by stars Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise in Interview with the Vampire. Fans were furious with Queen of the Damned, saying it felt like a slap in the face.
Return to Oz
The Wizard of Oz is “the” classic. The OG. The GOAT. All the rest of it. Doing a sequel almost fifty years later? Terrible idea. Return to Oz was doomed from the moment it was scribbled on a blackboard with a question mark. Who’d have thought having a child go through electroshock therapy would turn audiences off?
Scary Movie V
The second, third and fourth Scary Movie films aren’t… ideal. But the fifth was the one that brought the franchise to its knees. Spoofing the likes of Inception and Paranormal Activity, Scary Movie V has a Rotten Tomatoes score of just 4%. Not having Brenda or Cindy feature for the first time may have had something to do with that.
xXx: Return of Xander Cage
xXx is a ride. Vin Diesel playing an ex-athlete-turned-secret-agent? Why not. This 2017 third instalment, however, isn’t half as fun. The digital doomsday device comes across as a desperate bid to chase the stakes of the original and the action just pales in comparison. Oh, and the martial arts DJ? Come on now.
American Wedding
The first two American Pie films may be a bit much for young audiences today, but in the 1990s and early 2000s, they were a welcome breath of not-so-fresh air. American Wedding is where the franchise went downhill. Losing grip of its coming-of-age charm and good-bad taste, this sequel leaves a weird taste in your mouth.
Attack of the Clones
The Phantom Menace? Oh no. For every trade negotiation, there is a pod race. For every Jar Jar Binks, there is a Darth Maul. Attack of the Clones? Dreck from start to finish. A clone army devoid of any personality, a war that only affects the people fighting it, and sand’s fiercest enemy himself, Anakin Skywalker, in equal measure cocky and grumpy. Keep it.
Titanic 2
In fairness, Titanic 2 is an Asylum Studios production (the same folks who brought you Sharknado). They’re not out here trying to make Oscar bait. All the same, this is one of the worst sequels you’ll ever see. In Titanic 2, a new ship is hit by an iceberg, caused by a tsunami, rendering every passenger crocked. Hijinks ensue!
Mulan II
Mulan doesn’t get enough credit. Not only is it one of the finest Disney films of the 1990s but of all time. It could be the case that its legacy was tarnished by a poor sequel released in 2004. Fans of Mulan criticised Disney’s decision to make Mushu into a villain among many, many other things.
Teen Wolf Too
Teen Wolf wasn’t perfect but it was a strong comedy with a typically-reliable Michael J. Fox. Jason Bateman doesn’t do the worst job in the acting world in Teen Wolf Too but there’s only so much you can do with a character whose werewolf curse is used to advance through a boxing tournament.
The Rage: Carrie
The original Carrie is one of the very few brilliant Stephen King film adaptations. Take away his source material and Sissy Spacek’s terrifying, bulging eyes and you’re left with a stinker like The Rage. This sequel tries way too hard to reproduce the magic of the original that it forgets to form a coherent and intriguing story of its own.
The Hunchback of Notre Dame 2: The Secret of the Bell
In the early 2000s, Disney went through a bizarre cooling period of straight-to-VHS/DVD sequels that had no interest in reaching the dizzying heights of their predecessors. The Hunchback of Notre Dame 2: The Secret of the Bell is a great example. Not only does this film boast the longest-ever title in history, but the prize of the worst-ever Disney sequel.
Zoolander 2
The first Zoolander was a deft satire on an industry that had gotten so far up itself that any doctor who could pull it out would be made King of England. The second was a pathetic attempt to recapture the magic and nothing more. Zoolander 2 also suffered from too long of a delay. Sixteen years split these films, which was about fifteen too many.
Independence Day: Resurgence
Independence Day is hardly flawless but it still falls under the umbrella of “classic”, especially if the only films you’ve ever seen are Independence Day and Furious 7. It’s loud and silly but also very impressive. Resurgence, however, is loud and silly but irritatingly bad. The young cast has zero charisma, the storyline is too dumb, and the CGI is often laughable.
Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
Money may never sleep, but the audience sure does when they watch this 2010 sequel. Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps isn’t cover-your-face bad, it’s consider-going-to-the-toilet-for-the-sake-of-it bad, which is way worse. Trailing the life of Gordon Gekko fresh from prison, it lacks any of the cultural relevance or sting of an original that had caught the essence of 1980s capitalism.
Mean Girls 2
Seven years after the original, Mean Girls 2 premiered not in cinemas but on ABC Family in 2011. That sentence alone should sum it up. Featuring lesser-known actors, this sequel has just one returning cast member in Tim Meadows, the school principal. As a result, Mean Girls 2 feels like a fan-made film made by students for YouTube. Don’t expect any iconic one-liners in this mess.
Basic Instinct 2
Sharon Stone gets a lot of stick for Basic Instinct 2 when its failure isn’t really her fault. She comes with all the same leg-crossing chops she did in the 1992 original. It’s everyone around her that drives this thing into the ground. David Morrissey isn’t Michael Douglas and he never will be. A tall order Basic Instinct 2 was always going to be.
Space Jam: A New Legacy
The first Space Jam is preposterous and cynical as it is, but there are enough whimsical set pieces and strong cast members to distract you from its 88-minute-long marketing ploy. The highly-anticipated sequel, A New Legacy, starring LeBron James as a father trying to win a basketball game to rescue his kidnapped son, lacked any of the original’s charm.
Batman & Robin
If your idea of a comic book film is camp and hammy, then Batman & Robin is about as good as it gets. If your idea of a comic book film is unrelentingly stark and humourless, Batman & Robin was one of celluloid’s darkest couple of hours. Even Batman’s leather nipples were not enough to save this 1997 flick from 11 Razzie nominations.
Son of the Mask
“Yeah, it’s good,” a Son of the Mask producer presumably said of the original, “but it’s severely lacking Jamie Kennedy.” Centred around Tim Avery (played by Kennedy) and his son, who inherits the Mask’s powers, this sequel falls short in every way. The zaniness and chaos are too much to ever be entertaining or funny, and a lot of the humour is creepy.
Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd
You probably didn’t even know this one existed, that’s how bad it is. Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd rewinds the narrative back to the pair’s high school days, equally as hopeless. And that’s about it. Looking for a plot? Keep looking. Oh, and it stars Derek Richardson and Eric Christian Olsen in Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels’ place. There wasn’t and never will be, any reason to watch this.
Blues Brothers 2000
Following the death of John Belushi, Hollywood agreed not to make another Blues Brothers movie. What was the point? How would they work around it? Pair Dan Akroyd with John Goodman and some Scrappy-Doo-like kid? “Yes,” Hollywood said when it caved at the turn of the millennium. Blues Brothers 2000 features some decent music choices, but that’s about it.
The Sting II
The Sting II was under a lot of pressure trying to follow up on the Best Picture-winning original starring New Hollywood duo Robert Redford and Paul Newman. But did it really have to be that bad and that boring? This sequel is such a letdown, you almost feel bad poking fun at it. It has a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
Legally Blondes
Legally Blondes is the third instalment in the Legally Blonde franchise but the first not to include Reese Witherspoon as Elle Woods. Instead, the sequel follows British cousins Annie and Izzy as they move into Elle’s home and make a name for themselves in a swanky prep school. Despite several mentions, Elle Woods never makes an appearance. Enough said.
Home Alone 3
Home Alone 2 was shoddy enough and that still had Macauley Culkin on board. Home Alone 3 was the first of many pitiful pastiches. Focusing on a new kid, Alex, who has to defend his home from criminals after staying off sick from school, this threequel holds a 29% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and was nominated for Worst Remake or Sequel at the Golden Raspberry Awards in 1998.
Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights
Both a sequel and reimagining, Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights moves the setting of the film to Cuba during the revolution. Patrick Swayze briefly appears as a dance teacher but that wasn’t enough to keep this sinking ship above sea level. The film was slammed for its poor dancing and unimaginative plot.
The Birds II: Land’s End
A made-for-TV sequel, The Birds II: Land’s End, was released 31 years after the 1963 Alfred Hitchcock original. Focusing on the struggles of a bereaved family being terrorised by birds on a remote island, it’s not too big of a leap from the first film. It was directed by ‘Alan Smithee,’ the long-standing Hollywood pseudonym used when a director wants to disown the finished product.
American Psycho 2
Originally titled The Girl Who Wouldn’t Die, American Psycho 2 is a rotten old thing. Starring Mila Kunis and William Shatner, it follows an entirely new serial killer (the first of several red flags). Unlike the original, you don’t spend this film wondering whether or not the whole thing is real, but more so wondering when the whole thing will just be over.
