The Funniest Headstones You'll Find!

The Funniest Headstones You’ll Find!

If there’s one thing we know for sure, it’s that we’re all guaranteed to bite the dust, pop our clogs, shuffle off this mortal coil, kick the bucket – however you want to dress it up  – we’re all headed for death…

Pretty morbid, huh?

Dying might be pretty scary, but it doesn’t mean we can’t make a joke of it, right?! Why not make your last words your funniest ones?

Here are a bunch of hilarious headstones – some people really do know how to get the last laugh…

‘Well This Sucks’

Succinct and straight to the point – you just can’t argue with a statement like that…

‘I Told You I Was Sick… And I Was Sick Of Hearing It’

We’ve all seen the age-old tombstone classic which reads: “I told you I was sick”. But this hubby and wife duo took it one step further, with him retorting:

“And I was sick of hearing it.”

Absolute couple goals…

‘Oh Well What Ever’

Lola Holt lived to the impressive age of 81 and it looks like she was definitely ready to fill out that gravestone form…

‘I Will NOT Be Right Back After This Message’

TV host Merv DEFINITELY had the last laugh…

‘Destined To Be A Woman With Too Many Cats’

Hey – is there such a thing as too many cats?

‘I Was Hoping For A Pyramid’

The guy clearly had some serious Tutankhamun goals. Too bad he’ll have to settle for this modest, granite grave instead of a swanky tomb. Maybe in your next life, matey!


We’re pretty sure this is just the initials of the person who passed away, but it sure does make it look like he died laughing his head off.

‘Kay’s Fudge’

Although Kay kept her treasured recipe under wraps for all her life, she managed to pass it on to her friends, family and, quite frankly, anyone who walked passed her grave…

Now, let’s see what the fuss is all about…

‘If You Can Read This, You’re Standing On My Boobs’

Got to love that humour from beyond! I wonder if Janet wanted this on her tombstone or if her relatives just have a great sense of humour!

‘Here Lies John Yeast, Pardon Me For Not Rising’

John just couldn’t leave mortality without throwing in a hilarious yeast gag – I bet he’s been waiting years to crack that one.

Rest assured, John, I bet everyone who read this will have pardoned you!

‘Here Lies Steve And Anya In Eternal Bliss, Mastercard & Visa Still Looking For The Payments They Missed’

Heck, they might’ve been up to their eyeballs in debt, but that’s one of the (few) positives about dying – you don’t need to pay off that designer handbag anymore!

‘I Like Big Bucks And I Cannot Lie’

Let’s face it, it’s NEVER too late to make a joke about hip-hop and hunting. Here’s the hoping that Steve made it to the land of bucks and chicks…


Although there’s nothing that screams ‘I’ve died’ more than a gravestone in a yard, this fella decided to make sure people knew the score- you know, just in case.


With an unfortunate surname such as this, I’m pretty darn impressed that this family had the b*lls to put up this tombstone (sorry!)…

‘He Was A Wonderful Father, But A Bad Electrician’

We all know where this one is going…

‘Raised Four Beautiful Daughters With Only One Bathroom And Still There Was Love’

Ah, this one’s quite heartwarming, right?!

‘We Finally Found A Place To Park In Georgetown’

And no one will steal you hub caps!

‘Go Away – I’m Asleep’

Might just get this epigraph copied for my grandkids…

‘S*** Happens’

– and then you die. Classic!

I feel you, Edith…

‘Arthur Spanks His Wife’

Anyone for a little bit of Victorian frivolousness?!

‘She Always Said Her Feet Were Killing Her But No one Believed Her’

Bet she had a pair of stilettos that were to die for!

‘My Wife Eleanor Arthur Of Queen, N.Y. Lived Like A Princess For 20 Years Travelling The World With The Best Of Every Thing. When I Went Blind She Tried To Poison Me. Took All My Money, All My Medication And Left Me In The Dark. Alone And Sick. It’s A Miracle I Escaped. I Won’t See Her In Heaven Because She’s Surely Going To Hell’.

Phew – talk about name and shame!