Apple – Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin
Gwyneth Paltrow is an interesting character, having once claimed to have invented both yoga and veganism, which is no doubt the reason her child’s name is plant-based. Apple is Paltrow and Chris Martin’s oldest child, and the name caused a storm in 2004 when it was first announced.
X Æ A-XII – Grimes and Elon Musk
When you’re one of the richest men in the world, you probably care very little about what people have to say about the name of your child. By the looks of it, if you’re tech billionaire Elon Musk, you don’t even care whether people can pronounce your child’s name at all. X Æ A-XII was born in May 2020 and was the pair’s first child together.
Exa Dark Sideræl – Grimes and Elon Musk
At least it’s possible to take a vague stab at pronouncing Grimes and Elon Musk’s second child’s name. Exa Dark Sideræl was born in December 2021 and is nicknamed Y for short, which is also a car in Musk’s Tesla range. Their first child X Æ A-XII is nicknamed X, which is the name of Elon Musk’s rebrand of Twitter.
Techno Mechanicus – Grimes and Elon Musk
To complete the Grimes and Elon Musk trifecta, we have Techno Mechanicus, the easiest name to pronounce of the three. Techno Mechanicus is thought to be a reference to Adeptus Mechanicus, a faction in the popular board game, Warhammer. The pair have decided to name the child Tau, for short, which is another Warhammer reference.
Huckleberry – Shara and Bear Grylls
Bear Grylls is a popular explorer and survivalist, famous for his television empire. Grylls can frequently be seen tucking into just about anything he can find in nature, as well as drinking his own urine for the sake of ‘survival’. It’s safe to say the guy doesn’t live by society’s square standards, which might be why he has given his child the name Huckleberry.
Lourdes – Madonna
Madonna gave birth to her first child Lourdes in October 1996, a name that raised a few eyebrows when the baby’s name was first announced. It is easy to see the logic though, as Madonna is a Catholic, and Lourdes is a town in France that is regarded as a sacred place of miracles. This is thanks to the presence of the Sanctuary of Our Lady of Lourdes, a popular shrine and pilgrimage site.
Audio Science – Shannyn Sossamon
Sounding more like the name of a university degree than a human child, Audio Science is actor Shannyn Sossamon’s first child, born in May 2003. Somewhat serendipitously, Audio grew up to take an interest in music and now works as a producer and musician residing in Los Angeles.
Maple – Amanda Anka and Jason Bateman
Were they going for the leaf or the syrup? Who knows. Either way, Maple isn’t actually the worst name you could give a child, even if it is instantly recognizable as something that only a celeb couple would bestow on their kid. The weirdest thing about the situation, though, is that Amanda Anka and Jason Bateman’s other two children are the perfectly normal-named Francesca and Nora.
Moroccan – Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon
When couples decide to name their child after a geographical location, they usually decide to use the actual place name, not the people who live there. Bafflingly, Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon opted for the name Moroccan, not Morocco, for their little boy. The pair named his twin sister Monroe, presumably after Marilyn.
North – Kim Kardashian and Kanye West
You can tell Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were having a little chuckle to themselves when they came up with the idea to call their child North, which is a name almost too gimmicky for words. North West was born in 2013 and is Kardashian and West’s first-born child, with the pair’s other three children being named Saint, Chicago and Psalm.
Pilot Inspektor – Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf
One of the worst things about the name that Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf chose for their child Pilot, is the fact that they opted for a silly middle name in addition to the first. Pilot is already pretty odd but might just have worked if only the child’s full name wasn’t Pilot Inspektor.
Blue Ivy – Beyoncé and Jay-Z
Growing up with Beyoncé and Jay-Z as her parents meant that Blue Ivy was a worldwide celebrity and household name from the day she was born, a role in which she seems to be revelling in. There’s no denying that the name isn’t all that weird by celebrity standards, but it’s still more evocative of a luxury hotel chain than a person.
Racer – Robert Rodriguez and Elizabeth Avellàn
Here marks the start of Robert Rodriguez and Elizabeth Avellàn’s crimes to baby names, with Racer actually being one of the better ones the couple have chosen for their children. Despite the pressure for Racer to choose his namesake profession, he instead opted to follow in his parents’ footsteps and go into the movie business. He now works as an actor.
Rocket – Robert Rodriguez and Elizabeth Avellàn
Who knows what Robert Rodriguez and Elizabeth Avellàn were thinking about when they decided Rocket was a suitable name for their newborn child. They may well have been thinking about spacecraft, but there’s something a bit more amusing about the thought of naming their child after a form of peppery Italian lettuce or a cartoon racoon.
Rogue – Robert Rodriguez and Elizabeth Avellàn
The Google definition of Rogue is a dishonest or unprincipled person. This is probably not what most people would want their young child to grow up to become, but Robert Rodriguez and Elizabeth Avellàn left their young one with little choice. Thankfully, Rogue didn’t choose this path, as he instead chose to go into acting like his brother.
Story – Jenna Elfman and Bodhi Elfman
Elfman is already a pretty whimsical surname, but acting power couple Jenna and Bodhi might have overcommited to both quirkiness and referencing their Hollywood profession when they decided to call their child Story. Is this name just sweet enough to work, or does it venture into lame territory? It’s tough to say.
Sunday – Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban
Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban’s child, Sunday, was born on the 7th July 2008. This day-of-the-week themed name can only suggest that the baby was born on a nice, quiet Sunday afternoon with birds chirping in the background. Nope. The 7th of July 2008 was in fact a Monday. So what were they thinking?
Willa – Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas
Game of Thrones actor Sophie Turner and everyone’s second-favorite Jonas Brother Joe Jonas’ child is called Willa, a name that sounds like a Londoner trying to pronounce the word willow. Their child was born on the 22nd of July 2020, right in the heart of the pandemic. This name is, unfortunately, two letters away from being sensible.
Denim – Toni Braxton and Keri Lewis
Denim Braxton-Lewis was born in 2001, at a time where people would gladly wear double denim and not be made fun of for it. Unfortunately for Toni Braxton and Keri Lewis’ eldest son, the days of wearing excessive amounts of jean jackets and low waisted bedazzled pants are over, and nowadays he would do better if he were named Linen, or Polyester.
Puma – Erykah Badu and The D.O.C.
Musician Erykah Badu and her rapper former partner The D.O.C. called their first child Puma. There could be multiple reasons for this, with the first being that they wanted to name their child after a fierce, threatening big cat. The second possible reason could be that they are big fans of sportswear brand, Puma. Either way, it’s not a name that will work on a future job application.
Dream – Blac Chyna and Rob Kardashian
Another Kardashian, another showy name. Dream was the name of choice for the understated Kardashian of the family, Rob, and his then-girlfriend Blac Chyna. While it isn’t what you’d class as a standard name, it’s relatively inoffensive and is nowhere near as nonsensicle as the equations for names that Elon Musk and Grimes have used.
Everest – George Lucas and Mellody Hobson
It’s slightly surprising that George Lucas, the creative mind behind Star Wars, didn’t opt for a more space-oriented name for he and Mellody Hobson’s child. Instead, they went for something that is most definitely rooted in the earth: Everest. They could well have gone for other options such as Andes, Alps, or the slightly more left-field Kilimanjaro, but the surprisingly short George Lucas went for the tallest option of the lot.
Rainbow – Holly Maddison
Known primarily for being one of Hugh Hefner’s former girlfriends, it’s no surprise that Holly Madison went for something colorful and eccentric when naming her first child. In fact, she opted for the most colorful name of them all: Rainbow. A slightly kitschy, and very celebrity-style name indeed, but not the worst of the bunch.
Bambi – Molly Mae and Tommy Fury
Oh deer. Reality star Molly-Mae Hague and her reality star and part-time boxer boyfriend Tommy Fury decided to name their baby Bambi, after the fictional deer who was made famous by a Disney movie. While it might be cute for an infant, it’s difficult to imagine a 40 year old filing taxes under such a saccharine name.
Cricket – Busy Philipps and Marc Silverstein
Naming your child after an animal can potentially work, if you get the animal right. If you go for a creepy looking insect that likes to make horrifically loud noises, the chances of it working are significantly reduced. Busy Philipps and Marc Silverstein chose to name their child, Cricket, which was probably only appropriate when the kid kept them awake all night!
Cosimo – Marissa Ribisi and Beck
Marissa Ribisi leant on her Italian roots when naming her and Beck’s child, Cosimo. Cosimo is a fairly uncommon Italian boys name, which means order, organization and beauty. It’s hard to argue much against this name, as it is rare that quirky celebrity names are rooted in culture rather than pretentiousness.
Riot Rose – Rihanna and A$AP Rocky
Singer and beauty mogul Rihanna and rapper A$AP Rocky flexed their talents for juxtaposition upon the birth of their first child, naming him Riot Rose. This name has the potential to be super cool, as it blends violence with beauty in an alliterative way. However, Riot Rose does also sound a bit like a strong female character from a children’s TV show.
Phoenix – Paris Hilton and Carter Reum
Everyone’s favorite heiress and early 2000s headline maker Paris Hilton, and her partner entrepreneur Carter Reum, decided to call their child Phoenix. This was presumably to show that something as lovely as a newborn baby can rise from the ashes of a career that had gone up in flames and scandal.
Cosmo – Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost
Hollywood actor Scarlett Johansson and comedian/SNL guy that consistently shows up on your TikTok feed, Colin Jost, decided to name their child Cosmo. Usually the word cosmo is only one half of a word, for example, in “cosmopolitan” or “cosmonaut”. However, the couple decided to leave it blank, presumably so their child could fill in the other half later.
Sylvester Apollo – Emily Ratajkowski
Famous model Emily Ratajkowski decided to go down the space route when naming her child, giving him the first name Sylvester and the middle name Apollo. Oh wait, surely it couldn’t actually be a named themed around the Rocky movies? Sylvester Stallone’s Rocky ends up fighting Apollo Creed in both Rocky 1 and 2. This has to be a coincidence, right?
Raddix – Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden
One of the most unattractive and sonically upsetting names on this list is Raddix, chosen by Cameron Diaz and her husband Benji Madden. It sounds a little too similar to radish, but also fairly similar to the soap and bubble bath liquid brand Radox, which is sold around the world. At least their child will grow up with good hygeine?
Gravity – Lucky Blue Smith and Stormi Henley
They say that having a child brings you right back down to earth, which is something that Lucky Blue Smith and Stormi Henley decided to express via the medium of baby names. Gravity was born in 2017, the year that marked the landmark 330th anniversary of Isaac Newton’s first published works on the subject. Good timing!
Kal-El – Nicolas Cage and Alice Kim
Once a long-time Hollywood couple, Nicolas Cage and Alice Kim had one child together. They decided to name him Kal-El, because of Cage’s love for Superman. There aren’t many mothers out there that would even contemplate indulging their husband’s fantasy of having their child named after a superhero, so Alice Kim was either blinded by love or thought it was equally cool.
Wolf – Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott
Professional celebrity Kylie Jenner and her former boyfriend Travis Scott thought that the name Wolf would be appropriate for their first child together. At least, they did for a while. In July of 2023, when the baby was no longer a baby at 20 months old, Jenner announced that her child’s name is now Aire Webster.
Usher – Usher and Tameka Foster
Naming a child after yourself is nothing outside of the norm, it’s a storied tradition, especially in Usher’s family. He and then partner Tameka Foster’s child is the fifth Usher in the family tree. With baby Usher’s father and grandfather both being famous singers, there must be a little pressure for the youngest Usher to succeed in the music industry too.
Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence – Uma Thurman and Arpad Busson
Leave some baby names for everyone else! Uma Thurman and her partner Arpad Busson decided they’d give their child a novel for a name, with Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence. The poor kid is going to have a really difficult time when she gets to the age at which she starts learning to write her own name.
Bingham – Kate Hudson and Matt Bellamy
Actor Kate Hudson and Muse frontman Matt Bellamy’s relationship may have been fairly brief, but it saw the birth of their child, Bingham. Having a surname for a first name is already slightly unfair, but word has it that they shorten it to Bing, which is also the name of the worst search engine of all time. That’s rough.
Daisy Boo – Jamie Oliver and Jools Oliver
British TV chef Jamie Oliver is not everyone’s cup of tea, with his in-your-face TV persona sometimes being hard to bear. However, it’s not his personality that’s the issue here, it’s the fact he’s attached a highly unnecessary ‘Boo’ to the perfectly decent name, Daisy.
Diva Muffin – Frank Zappa and Gail Zappa
Non-conformist rock stars will seldom choose obvious baby names. Having already had Moon Unit and Dweezil, Frank Zappa and his wife Gail decided they would name their third child Diva Muffin. It’s so absurd that it’s amusing and tough to hate, unless you’re the child that actually has to wear that name forever, that is.
RZA – Rihanna and A$AP Rocky
How does one go about pronouncing this? Do you say the individual letters separately or do you add your own letters to it and make it sound like razor? In truth, names shouldn’t have to come with instruction manuals, however famous you may be. Whereas Riot Rose had hints of cool about it, RZA is just too complicated to enjoy.
Peaches – Bob Geldof and Paula Yates
Bob Geldof is an eccentric, there’s no doubting that. You can’t pull off an event as ambitious and speculative as Live Aid if you’re not both slightly crazy and exceptionally rich. His artistic side and tendency to not follow the crowd came through when he was naming his two daughters, Pixie and Peaches.
Mint – Romee Strijd and Laurens van Leeuwen
Dutch model Romee Strijd and her husband Laurens van Leeuwen thought they would go for something fresh and original when naming their first child. In fact, they went for one of the freshest names you could possibly imagine, calling their baby, Mint. How refreshing!
Daisy Dove – Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom
What is it with celebrity couples adding extra names to the end of Daisy? Just like Jamie Oliver and his wife Jools, Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom decided that Daisy just simply was not enough. They have one-upped the Oliver family, however, opting to add Dove at the end, rather than Boo.
Bluebell Madonna – Christian Horner and Geri Horner
RedBull F1 team principal Christian Horner and his wife, the Spice Girl Geri Horner (formerly Halliwell), went slightly left field when naming their children. Their young girl was given the name Bluebell Madonna, and their son was given the slightly more banal, but still very pretentious, Montague George Hector Horner.
Sir – Beyoncé and Jay-Z
In addition to Blue Ivy and Rumi, Beyoncé Knowles and Jay-Z have a son, whom they named Sir. You have to feel sorry for the boy, as he will go on to experience every single customer service worker accidentally addressing him by his first name, not that he’s likely to interact with many customer service workers in his lifetime.
Kulture – Cardi B and Offset
Rapping couple Cardi B and Offset welcomed their first child, Kulture Kiari Cephus into the world in July 2019. The Kiari Cephus bit is easy to work out, as Offset’s real name is Kiari Kendrell Cephus. However, the Kulture bit is less easy to explain. Why is it spelled with a K?
Bear – Liam Payne and Cheryl
Liam Payne and Cheryl (formerly Cheryl Tweedy, Chery Cole, and Cheryl Fernandez Versini) struck up a surprising relationship in the mid-2010s, with Cheryl quickly falling pregnant with their son, whom they would call Bear. Unfortunately, being a father took its toll on Payne, and he has since blamed it for the downfall of the pair’s relationship.
Harlow – Joel Madden and Nicole Richie
Nobody will ever know whether Joel Madden and Nicole Richie decided to name their child Harlow after a small town in Essex, England, or they just liked the idea of giving their child a surname for a first name. What is known, however, is that it makes for a very unique name.
Sparrow – Joel Madden and Nicole Richie
We’re not quite done with singer Joel Madden and Lionel Richie’s daughter Nicole Richie. In addition to their daughter Harlow Winter Kate Madden, they decided to name their son Sparrow James Midnight Madden. Sparrows are nice birds, Midnight is pretty compelling, so it’s actually the random choice of James that sticks out like a sore thumb.
Egypt – Alicia Keys and Swizz Beats
It’s always a little cringe-inducing when you see a fully grown adult male with a name like Swizz Beats, whether it’s a stage name or not. His own naming sins are not the point of this list though; Mr Beats and his wife, singer-songwriter Alicia Keys, named their children Egypt and Genesis. Neither is particularly sensible.
Golden – Nick Cannon and Brittany Bell
Nick Cannon makes a welcome return to the list, but this time with his now-ex-girlfriend, American model Brittany Bell. The pair decided they would name their baby boy, Golden. They also gave him the nickname Sagon, before he was even old enough to know what a nickname was. Which is the stranger name? You decide.
Moxie Crimefighter – Penn Jillette
Magician and one-half of the duo Penn and Teller, Penn Jillette, decided to name his daughter Moxie Crimefighter. You can make your own mind up on which of these two names is worse. Penn Jillette and his wife Emily also have a son named Zolten, which is actually a fairly standard Hungarian name.
Bear Blu – Alicia Silverstone and Christopher Jarecki
It’s time for another Bear now, this time coming from the actress Alicia Silverstone and her ex-husband Christopher Jarecki. However, to make it even more of a pretentious celebrity child name, they decided to add Blu to the end. Presumably, it’s just a quirky spelling of the color blue, and not anything overly meaningful.
Sage Moonblood – Sylvester Stallone
Hollywood mainstay Sylvester Stallone decided to name his child Sage Moonblood, which sounds like a character you would expect to see in one of those fantasy role-playing games. His other children are called Seargeoh, which is sort of like an Irish version of Sergio; Sophia, Scarlet, and Sistine. That’s a lot of assonance!
Mars Merkaba – Erykah Badu
Erykah Badu has already appeared on this long list, after naming her child Puma. Her unique naming flair didn’t end there though, as she also named one of her children Mars Merkaba. This makes Puma look tame, which is something you’d never think of a real puma as being.
Princess – Katie Price and Peter Andre
During the free time she had in between writing her six autobiographies, Katie Price gave birth to her baby girl Princess or, to give her full name: Princess Tiaamii Crystal Esther Andre. Well, a fame hunter such as Katie Price was never going to give her daughter a normal name, was she?
Bronx Mowgli – Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson
Bassist and lyricist of the band Fall Out Boy and singer Ashlee Simpson were briefly marriage, with Simpson giving birth to the couple’s only child, Bronx Mowgli. The name is a deliberate juxtaposition, with the Bronx being a heavily built-up urban area in New York, and Mowgli being a character from The Jungle Book.
Indio Falconer – Robert Downey Jr. and Susan Downey
Iron Man actor Robert Downey Jr. has three children, all with pretty unique names. He has a daughter named Avri Roel, and two sons, named Exton Elias and Indio Falconer. All three of the names sound like they would not be out of place in a Marvel superhero movie.
Tu – Rob Morrow
Despite the name only being two letters long, this may well be the worst name of the lot. American actor Rob Morrow and his wife used the birth of his child to make a joke, calling the poor thing, Tu. Get it? Tu Morrow. Perhaps it’s not too surprising considering his wife is called Debbon Ayer, a homophone of the word debonair, meaning suave or carefree.
Jermajesty – Jermaine Jackson
Jermaine Jackson must have been running out of name ideas when he came up with Jermajesty. The former Jackson 5 singer has nine children in total, with names ranging from the comparative banality of Jeremy to the slight quirkiness of Autumn, to the straight-up awful, Jermajesty.
Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily – Michael Hutchence and Paula Yates
INXS singer Michael Hutchence and Paula Yates’ whirlwind relationship resulted in the birth of their daughter Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily. Heavenly’s childhood was unfortunately not as idyllic as it should have been, as both of her parents died young. She went on to live in the custody of Bob Geldof, Yates’ former husband.
Sno FilmOn Dot Com – Chief Keef
In a bizarre move that quite frankly shows rapper Chief Keef’s complete disregard for anything but his bank account, he decided to name his child Sno FilmOn Dot Com, the name of his record label’s website. This move was to promote his new album which was being released on said record label shortly after the birth of his child. Yikes.
Satchel – Spike Lee and Tonya Lewis Lee
Spike Lee bagged a few headlines when he announced that the name of his newborn child was Satchel. Lee and his wife Tonya could have gone for a number of names, including Rucksack, Tote, or Duffel, but they opted for a more vintage approach with the timeless Satchel instead.
Future – Ciara and Future
American mumble-rapper Future was not ready to see his name become something of the past. He has ensured it will carry on for at least another generation, naming his and singer Ciara’s child after himself. Future also has four other children, Hendrix, Londyn, Jakobi, and Prince.
Ode Mountain – Jena Malone
Hunger Games actor Jena Malone and her ex-partner and photographer Ethan DeLorenzo appeared to name their child after an old Western movie or a country song. The couple’s first child Ode Mountain was born in 2016, with many an eyebrow being raised at the fact that the child is one letter off from being called Olde Mountain.
Buddy Bob – Tom Fletcher and Giovanna Fletcher
McFly singer/songwriter and guitarist Tom Fletcher and his wife Giovanna Fletcher are one of those couples that see parenthood as a personality trait. Everything seems to revolve around children’s media, from writing kid’s books, to hosting Disney podcasts, to even making children’s musicals. The name of their second child, Buddy Bob, sounds like a character that the couple may have weaved into one of their children’s stories.
Buzz Michelangelo – Tom Fletcher and Giovanna Fletcher
You would have to hope that Giovanna Fletcher’s parenthood podcast doesn’t involve a segment on how to name your baby. Her and Tom Fletcher’s first child is called Buzz Michelangelo. The Michelangelo bit is self-explanatory, but the Buzz? He might be named after the noise that bees make, or maybe after Buzz Lightyear of Toy Story fame.
Ever Imre – Alanis Morisette
Canadian singer-songwriter Alanis Morisette has three children, all with slightly quirky names. Her first child, born in 2010, is called Ever Imre. It’s a bit of an empty name, as Ever is a very all-encompassing and generic term that doesn’t speak to any specific traits or even fondness.
Onyx Solace – Alanis Morisette
Alanis Morisette didn’t stop at Ever Imre, naming her second child Onyx Solace. It has all the standard traits of a celebrity baby name, with Onyx being a gemstone that you can buy replicas of at any pop-up market, and Solace being a word for finding comfort after a tough situation.
Spurgeon – Jessica Seewald
There are some celebrity baby names that are strange but sound pleasant enough, and there are some that sound strange and seemingly have no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Unfortunately, Jessica Seewald’s name Spurgeon falls into the latter category, sounding too similar to the sturgeon fish to be considered beautiful or practical.
