Cow Cod Soup

What you do you get when you mix cod with garlic, onion, root vegetables, green bananas and scotch bonnet peppers in a white rum broth? Cow Cod Soup of course! Just one thing: that ‘cod’ is not actually cod as we know it. It’s a bull’s penis. Some men swear by this particular meat’s aphrodisiac potential though it’s surely more symbolic than anything based in credible science.

Asparagus

Asparagus? That stuff that makes your wee smell like your entire body is rotting away? It’s a surefire way to get you looking your best in the bedroom! The high level of vitamin E in this veggie can increase blood flow to the genitals. Asparagus also contains a high amount of potassium which is linked to sex hormone productions. So head out to your nearest supermarket and buy yourself a big ol’ batch.

Bird’s nest soup

There are some instances in life that make you wonder, ‘How was this ever discovered?’ Bird’s nest soup making you horny is one of those instances. Although it is clearly gross, bird’s nest soup is a rare and expensive dish, entailing a tricky if not outright dangerous foraging process. Primarily made from the saliva of swiftlets putting together the nest, it has been said to help those in need of a spark.

Casu marzu

Is there anyone in this life you would least want to have sex with than someone who’s just eaten a maggot-infested cheese? Casu marzu, literally “rotten cheese”, is a Sardinian delicacy that is so controversial and bad for you, it is banned in most places around the world. Hey, if you have a strong stomach and actually prefer your dairy products with an invasion of maggots, this is the one for you! Sardinians claim it’s passion-inducing material.

Fugu

The variety of blowfish is banned in many places across the world outside of Japan. If not cleaned properly and prepared correctly, fugu can be incredibly dangerous. Done right by veteran chefs and it will merely leave a tingly sensation on your tongue. But it’s this risk of paralysis and death, combined with the unique taste and texture, that apparently gets the motor running of some men.

Durian

Infamous for its terrible smell, this Southeast Asian tropical fruit is thought to be an aphrodisiac after it allegedly gains special properties after passing through an elephant’s digestive system. One Indian scientist found in a study of mice that those who’d eaten the fruit and were said to have an increased libido and sperm count. If you can push past the awful aroma, this fruit is really worth your time. Packed with nutritional value and a yummy flavour to boot. Also, it gets you bricked up.

Big Butt Ants

Head out to the Santander region of Colombia and you’ll soon come across a small delicacy called Hormigas Culonas, which literally translate as “big butt ants”. Why? Well, they do, you know? They have big butts in comparison to their small leafcutter ant body size. This big ass, presumably full of protein, is seen to be an aphrodisiac. They’re even given as a wedding present! Don’t drink water within two hours of eating them as this will apparently give you a stomachache.

Wolf Meat

Photo taken in Kerkrade, Netherlands

These weird aphrodisiac options aren’t exactly vegan-friendly are they? Almost everyone requires you to eat some really mad, wild animal like it’s 692 B.C. We’re sorry for this. If tofu did wonders for your libido, believe us, we’d feature it front and centre. Anyway, wolf meat! In Mongolia they go nuts for this stuff. It is said that wolf meat works as an aphrodisiac in the way a lot of meat does, by providing warmth to the body, which in turn enhances lust and desire.

Balut

If you’re ever in the mood to eat something completely disgusting and are also struggling to get in the mood for sex, look no further than Balut, a boiled duck egg that contains duckling embryo! This snack is hugely popular throughout Vietnam and the Philippines, where it is considered a Viagra alternative by men thanks to its high protein levels and energy-boosting properties. We think we’d rather just have Viagra.

Rhino Horn

White Rhino. (Ceratotherium simum) Female with very long horn and calf. Lake Nakuru National Park Kenya. Dist. Localised: Southern and East Africa

What better have to get all horned up than with an actual horn? Well, the powder of a horn, technically speaking. Ground rhino horn is a dime a dozen in Africa and Asia as it represents power and potency and is believed to cure erectile dysfunction. This one is a little problematic given the whole “rhinos are on the brink of extinction and maybe we shouldn’t be accelerating this for the sake of casual sex”. Maybe choose another from this list if you’re ever in a spot of bother.

Ambergis

You might have seen this on the beach one time. A washed up rock? Some wrecked part of a boat or ship? Nope. Try whale vomit. This… stuff can be taken directly from the whale’s stomach or collected after it’s baulked it up. What does any of this have to do with sex drive? Whale vomit has been found to be make rats crave sexual activity. Mark our words, one man will have tried this.

Petrol Cologne

Obviously, despite the popularity of the smell, there is no special cologne that will make you smell like petrol. But if there was, it would make a killing. A British survey found that women love no smell more on a man than petrol. Best we can advise is to visit a petrol station and don’t leave for two to three hours. Likewise, women are most attractive when they smell like lipstick, baby lotion… or a roast dinner!

Cobra Blood

Cobra blood isn’t the first thing you think of when you’re in the mood for a nice drink. In fact, it’s probably the last. That is, unless you’re looking to get a fast track ticket to Horny Town. Cobras are believed to transfer powers through their blood, including sexual arousal, apparently! This stuff is popular all across Asia.

Dog Meat

How much is that doggy in the window? Because I’m looking to get laid and I’m all out of ideas. That’s right, dog meat is thought to be an aphrodisiac, in South Korea and several other Asian countries. They believe the tenderer the meat, the harder theirs will be. Is that too graphic?

Hot Chillies

Capsaicin, the compound that gives chillies their intense spice, releases endorphins and is said to boost your libido, making this the most painful method of getting yourself in the mood. Please, practice usual caution if using hot chillies in the bedroom. If you shouldn’t touch your eyes after handling one, just imagine the pain inflicted on more sensitive areas…

Apples

You know what they say: an apple a day keeps dryness away! Women who eat the fruit everyday were found to leave significantly better sex lives thanks to a phytoestrogen called phloridzin, which promotes arousal, lubrication, and sexual function.

Avocado

Fun fact: when the Aztecs discovered the avocado they named it āhuacatl, or ‘testicle’ thanks to the shape and it growing in pairs. It was thought to be such a strong aphrodisiac, virgins were forbidden from leaving their houses during the harvest of the fruit. And it was based in truth. Avocados contain arousal-boosting vitamins B9 and B6.

Ginseng

Ginseng is believed to an aphrodisiac thanks to its shape which kinda looks like a man’s legs or penis. Grown in Siberia, China and Korea, it’s thought to have Viagra-like effects. A study by the Southern Illinois University School of Medicine found that Ginseng increased the libido of rats.

Onion Juice

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched your sexually-stimulating cup of onion juice? That’s right, a rodent study by Jordan University of Science and Technology found that onion juice increases testosterone concentrations in the blood. If you’re down for trying this, you might wanna pop a mint immediately after. Several.

Salmon

Fix yourself a big plate of salmon if you’re looking for a good time. This fish is stuffed with omega-3 fatty acids that contribute to estrogen, testosterone and progresteron. It also increases the production of dopamine. All of these things can get you giddy in the right places.

Tofu

Here’s to all the veggies and vegans. There aren’t an awful lot of meat-free aphrodisiacs that aren’t downright disgusting. But tofu? We all love a bit of tofu now and then. Soy products such as it contain isoflavone compounds which stimulate a oestrogenic effect in the body. In layman terms, they make you ready to get busy.

Pumpkin Seeds

Pumpkin seeds are rich in zinc, which boosts testosterone and in turn boosts sexual performance and appetite. And this isn’t just for the gents out there. Pumpkin seeds have similar effects on women. Halloween just got a little bit hornier. He did the monster smash!

Watermelon

We may have Harry Styles for making watermelon into a mainstream kink but this fruit has been doing wonders for centuries. How? By relaxing the blood vessels to improve blood flow to the sex organs, enhancing arousal. Pro tip: eat more pickled watermelon rind. It’s in the rind where all the phytonutrient citrulline is.

Truffle

This is a great aphrodisiac for those who are both lacking in sexual arousal and are the unthinkably rich heirs to a department store conglomerate. Word on the street is Napoleon ate truffle mushrooms to increase his sexual prowess. They do contain zinc, after all, which benefits your privates.

Spinach

Commonly associated with something that is stuck in a person’s teeth, spinach isn’t the sexiest thing in the world but it’s worth piling into your diet, and not just for the sexual arousal stuff. Spinach is packed with magnesium which helps dilate blood vessels and trigger blood flow to every party of your body, including the part you want to use.

Red Wine

At last! Booze! The news we all wanted to hear. A glass of red wine increases libido. There is a God after all. This isn’t exactly weird but it’s definitely a surprise, as we’re often told alcohol is a huge no-no for bedroom bonanzas. And it can be, if overdone. But a glass or two will lower inhibition and boost blood flow, so don’t overstay your welcome.

Sunbathing

Sunbathing isn’t something you should for extended periods of time. The sun, while friendly in small doses, can be a nasty piece of work in large doses. Getting the right amount of sun increases your serotonin, which puts you in a better mood. More importantly, it lowers your melatonin levels, which serves to inhibit your sex drive.

Skink Skin

The skin of Skinks, a smallish lizard, was first noted to have aphrodisiac qualities in Pliny the Elder’s ancient Greek text Natural History. Pliny advised that the feet and muzzle of skin should be soaked in wine with arugula seeds in order to increase your libido.

Spanish Fly

Spanish flies have been used as an aphrodisiac since ancient Roman times. The body of this beetle contains cantharidin, a chemical compound that irritates the skin and increases blood flow when consumed. Eating this things is risky, though. One dodgy Spanish fly can break your skin out in blisters, and no loved one is going to touch you in that state.

Clean Sheets

Nobody wants to do it in a pigsty, do they? But a fresh bed with sheets that smell of lavender? The pants are coming off! A 2013 study found that clean sheets were a huge turn on for couples, so get out there and buy yourself some detergent and await the results.

A Pay Rise

Wasn’t expecting that, were you? A 2015 study by the International Journal of Manpower found that the higher your wage, the more sexually aroused you are. To be fair, the idea of organising a meeting with your boss and explaining that you want a pay rise solely for an improved sex life is so audacious and crazy it might be hard to say no to.

Mustard

It’s hard to imagine two people sitting in bed eating mustard by the spoonful before getting down to business. Most entries on this list are not ‘sexy’ foods, but this one absolutely isn’t. Still, mustard boasts an ability to increase blood circulation throughout the body. It was so renown as a sexual boost in Europe that monks were not allowed to eat it.

Yartsa Gunba

Yartsa gunbu, also known as Himalayan Viagra, is a caterpillar fungus that Tibetans use for several ailments. Most common is erectile dysfunction. Bear in mind, this only grows in spring. So if you’re in a pickle come summer, autumn or winter, you may have to go after some actual viagra.

Tiger’s Unmentionable

The lenghths some people go to get horny. It’s honestly amazing. To this day, mostly in China, tiger penis is served in soup or soaked in water in order to raise libido. It is a lot rarer these days after bans were put in place across Asia but for the right price, in the right place, you can still land a nice hearty bowl of dick soup.

Broccoli

Cruciferous vegetables are basically a cheat code for sexual arousal. A complete game-changer nutritionally, one 90g serving of broccoli contains 135% of your daily vitamin C intake and in turn promotes androgen and all that sciencey good stuff that will have you banging yourself silly.

Sauerkraut

Packed with vitamin C and lactic acid, sauerkraut is thought to have a positive effect on the sexual arousal of men. Volunteers in a study ate three plates of the pickled cabbage a day and 90% claimed their limp libido was cured out of nowhere.

Horror Films

Do you like scary movies? Well, you should if you’re looking to get jiggy with it. Watching a film with creeping tension and jump scares can sky rocket your adrenaline which then improves libido. Feeling of fear and excitement mimic sexual arousal in the brain.

Boring Films

On the other hand, it’s not just the films that stimulates you and your partners mind that are worth looking into. A study found that people who have TVs in their bedroom have twice as much sex as those who don’t. 29% of those studied confirmed that watching a boring film would lead to sex, so load Netflix and find the worst film ever. It won’t be hard. Well…

Maca

Often made in the form of herbal coffee, maca root has been used as a sexual aid for centuries and was found to increase the sperm count of animals. Naturally, humans thought this was a swell discovery and have been giving it a swing ever since.

Steak

Steak is famously a masculine food, but in terms of sexual prowess, it doesn’t do much. It’s women that truly benefit from a big chunk of the stuff. A study at the University of Texas found the lean red meat boosts dopamine and norepinephrine levels in women.

Chocolate

This is perhaps the greatest news ever. Chocolate. Not some bait-and-switch old person chocolate that tastes like feet. We mean chocolate-chocolate. Full of theobromine, it works as a caffeine stimulant which provides a huge mood boost. High endorphins = high sex drive.

Pomegranate

Have you ever wondered where the term aphrodisiac comes from? Aphrodite herself, the Greek goddess of love. Legend has it, she planted the first ever pomegranate tree. Antioxidants inside this fruit reduces inflammation from building up in our arteries, thus improving blood flow and… you know the rest by now.

Bananas

Bananas. It had to be, didn’t it? How can something so phallic not be an aphrodisiac? Bursting at the seems with vitamin B and potassium, studies have proven that even the smell of banana bread alone boosted arousal in women by a mighty 12%. Imagine EATING some.

Celery

Celery seems so plain, so watery, to be anything but pointless. Yet it’s commonly noted by doctors to improve libido. Eating a stick of this stuff increases the pherome levels in a man’s sweat, making them more attractive to women. Organic celery, that is. Non-organic won’t work.

Basil

Good news if you’re Italian: basil is officially an aphrodisiac! The scent was so successful at one time that women would actually rub basil powder or oil on their skin to attract men. This herb protects the heart and without the heart, you won’t have much stamina in the bedroom.

Sweet Potatoes

Sweet Potatoes. You either love them or hate them. If you’re in the latter camp, you better set aside your petty preferences and fire some down you. Sweet potatoes are rich in potassium, which fights high blood pressure, a condition that increases your chances of erectile dysfunction.

Coconut Water

Maybe the dullest entry on this list but, hey, beggars can’t be choosers. If you’re in a pickle and desperate to achieve arousal through liquid form, you’re best off supping a glass of coconut water as its electrolytes promote blood flow.

Figs

Now bring us some figgy pudding! Now bring us some figgy pudding! Now bring us some figgy pudding, and bring it out here! We’re in the mood to get aroused. Figs were so popular as a sex-boost back in the day that the ancient Greeks valued them more than gold.

Beets

The Ancient Romans believed beets promoted amorous feelings. And they were right to think that. Beets contain high amounts of boron, a trace mineral that heightens the level of sex hormones in the human body.

Pistachios

It wouldn’t seem right if nuts themselves didn’t make at least one appearance on a list of aphrodisiacs. These moreish snacks have been proven to cure erectile dysfunction so pour yourself a bowl and go ham.