Be late without explanation
Sometimes, being late cannot be avoided. Life gets in the way, wardrobe calamities happen, or improbable traffic jams make it impossible to get across town. With that said, if you definitely aren’t going to make it to your first date on time, the absolute bare minimum expected is to message your date with apologies and an approximate ETA.
Check your phone too frequently
Obviously, if your sister is about to have a baby and you’re expecting a phone call with the big news any minute, you could be forgiven for picking up your phone when it rings at dinner. In almost all other cases though, all checking your phone during a first date does is make you look inattentive, ignorant and even disappointed by the person sitting across from you.
Be rude to service workers
As the old saying goes, you can tell what kind of person someone is from how they treat the people they’re not trying to impress. If you’re going out to dinner with a new person, that means how you treat the waiter and bartender will be intently watched and judged by your date. Be polite, be jovial, and definitely don’t snap your fingers at anyone.
Get too inebriated
It’s fine to have a glass of wine or two at dinner – in fact, it can even help you get over any pre-date jitters and allow you to truly be yourself. With that said, there’s an ocean of difference between enjoying a tipple with your salmon and getting so sloshed that you knock over your water or fall asleep in your cheesecake.
Not ask any questions
Nobody likes to be interrogated over dinner, but at the same time, first dates are for getting to know each other. If you go the entire evening without asking your date a single thing about themselves, you shouldn’t be surprised if you don’t get a text back the next morning, let alone a call. Drawing a blank? Then ask about their family, their job and their pets!
Talk about your ex
A first date is not a job interview, which means the person sitting across from you isn’t going to want a detailed breakdown of how you used to spend your time, why you ended up on the market again and what went wrong. If your date does happen to ask about ex-partners, keep your response short, cordial and missing any truly grisly details.
Order food you don’t know how to eat
With any first date, there’s a temptation to impress your dinner partner at all costs, and this can sometimes lead to inadvisable decisions. More than doing magic tricks or attempting to down a pint of Guinness in one, ordering the fanciest thing on the menu and then having no clue how to eat it is the surest way to leave your date baffled and semi-mortified.
Forget your dealbreakers
First dates are about testing initial compatibility, not pretending to agree on everything or trying to convince the person you’ve gone out with to come around to your side. If your date for the evening makes it clear they’re not interested in marriage and children when you are, or vice versa, accept it gratefully and finish out the night by having fun, not arguing.
Brag about your accomplishments
If someone has invited you on a first date or accepted your invitation, chances are they want to know more about you. However, that doesn’t mean that they want to hear you talk about every single car you’ve bought or trophy you’ve won for four straight hours without a breath. Self-confidence is attractive, yes, but modesty is even more compelling.
Be too self-effacing
Even though bragging your way through dinner is an immediate red flag, it is possible to overcorrect too far in the opposite direction. When humbleness turns into self-depreciation and jokes at your own expense, you put your date in the uncomfortable position of having to act as your cheerleader, which will likely just make them feel sorry for you. A little bit of confidence is good!
